Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

thin_gypsy_thief
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 20

05 Nov 2012, 10:30 pm

So, I've had a thing for this girl for the better part of a month now. I don't know her *terribly* well, but when we talk, I feel a genuine connection that I rarely feel with people.

Long story short, I've been pussyfooting around the notion of asking her to coffee for a while now, and it's causing me anguish. She's a "friend of a friend," so it seems like whenever we're around each other, it's in a group setting and thus is hard to strike up conversation with her individually. I really "hit bottom" with this issue this past weekend, when I intended to get her attention at a party and ask her there, but I just couldn't do it. She didn't even acknowledge me the whole night, and every time she passed me I just couldn't summon the courage to say so much as "hey."

I ended up talking to one of our mutual friends who knows her very well, and after I told him the situation, he said that he couldn't attest to whether or not she was attracted to me, but that she does like me a lot as a comedian and has a certain reverence or respect for me and would almost certainly at least go to coffee with me.

So-I have confirmation from a reliable source that getting coffee with her isn't such a farfetched notion, but the confidence issue seriously gets me down. I see her briefly three times a week (different classes in the same building), but I can't talk to her there either. I don't want to do it on facebook, because that's notoriously lame. The only real option is probably "work up the confidence to ask her out," but if someone has a more creative way of getting to that point, I'd love to hear it.

Sorry if this is rambley-it's just been on my mind a lot, and this seems like the best place to bring it up.



aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,287
Location: Canada

05 Nov 2012, 11:04 pm

The simple solution is: Just ask her so that you stop obsessing over the outcome.



Tsproggy
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 283
Location:        

06 Nov 2012, 1:50 am

aspiemike wrote:
The simple solution is: Just ask her so that you stop obsessing over the outcome.


+1, make the date non-hostile. Figure out some things that she likes that are within reason of what you're willing to do. If she's obsessing about the new twilight movie, invite her with ya! I've heard that you shouldn't go to a movie that you've seen before but just doing something like that would probably let her know that you've taken an interest and intiative. Be very clear that you don't want to just be friends though, this is hard :/ Don't say sorry all the time, do nice things but don't over-do it, and try to make it somewhat obvious that you're interested in her but don't smother her. Confidence is always a plus, even the most confident women are unconfident about something and if you can be her rock, she'll appreciate that i'm sure.