Kicking a Dead Horse

Post Reply New Topic

Well I don't know what to do anymore, but the man upstairs really got me on this one.

So there were 2 girls that I have been pursuing since I transferred colleges last year...we will call them J and L. The first day I was at college during orientation, I talked to both and sat near them since we were all business majors. They both had transferred as well and I knew I was going to be seeing a lot of them. Now both girls were extremely attractive so I didn't have the cajones to ask on Day 1. I figured I would slowly try to get to know them and then maybe, just maybe I could have a relationship with one of them.

So as classes began I had at least 1 of the 2 in every class. In the 3 classes that they were just alone, I didn't say too much, but the 1 class that both of them shared with me resulted in me sitting next to both of them at a table.

I would say things were going good, we would joke about our teacher, sometimes work on our homework together with a couple other classmates (copy sessions, lol). Now as J and L became more familiar, they became good friends and as I learned more about them, sometimes by eavesdropping their discussions b4 class started, I learned that both had a boyfriend.

Because of this, I felt it really hard to ask for their numbers. It wasn't that I had never done it in my life before (asking for a #) but I just didn't feel comfortable or know how to ask when they are taken. Basically if my intention is not to pursue a relationship, I don't know how to ask in that situation.

Anyway so the Fall 11 semester ended and in Spring 12, I had class with both of them again but this time only 1 class with them each and it wasn't the same class. I did talk to them on occasion but I didn't sit near them or anything like that. Then before class the day after Valentine's Day, I overhear J saying she got engaged and showing the ring off to the girl next to her (who I also tried with, she actually told me I was funny once but I found out she had basically slept with the whole soccer and basketball team and I knew she was a b*tch, lol)

Okay so one of them down, I got over that quick but what was funny is that I found it easier to talk to her after I knew she was taken for good.

So now this semester comes and I have a common class with both of them again, and once again I sit with the 2 of them at a 3-person table. I really started to make a move on L because I noticed I hadn't heard any stories about a "boyfriend" since the very first semester. I also think J knew I liked L a lot as well.

Anyway it all came to a head a couple Monday's ago. I was at school about a couple hours before that class and was in the computer lab. L walked in, smiled, said hi, and sat down to the cpu next to me. What followed was a 20 minute conversation about her "bad" weekend which was her tire blew out and other small stuff. We also just talked about a bunch of stuff in general and I really felt a connection. Also found out she was a NY Giants and Yankees fan like me.

So dream scenario right? Wrong.

I finally mustered up the courage to say something (which is something + I can take from the whole thing).

I asked for her number and said "I'd really like to get to know you better over coffee or lunch, I know I've been in class with you for a year and hadn't said much but I've been wanting to do this a whole lot earlier."

^Tell me if this was an okay statement.

Anyway, without hesitation she says "I'm engaged" (showing her ring)

She then went on to say that it happened the night before (which is why I didn't notice it) and then basically without saying it directly said that she couldn't give me her number because I made it clear that I wanted to be with her instead of being just friends. Since my clear intention is to be in a relationship, she didn't want to give me her number in fear of her fiancee?

I don't know but all I know is that I am completely down right now. I mean what are the f'in odds that both girls I try with get engaged...at twenty-f*ckin-one!! !

It's been 2 weeks and I can tell that both J and L kind of look at me indifferently now, almost like I'm creepy, needless to say the rest of the time at college is going to be awkward if I'm gonna see them a lot.

But really??? No luck at all, what do I do, I feel like just giving up, I just don't want to put up with this anymore.

Thanks for your help

From the title of the thread for some reason I had a visual of actually kicking a dead horse I would assume *thud* with possible maggots on my shoe.

It's not that bad, I am glad you asked. Most of these posts end with lack of action. Your line was fine although admittedly you should have asked her earlier. You can tell her that its cool she got engaged and that you asking her out doesn't need to have a bearing on your class relationship. You don't need her number now that you know she isn't going to go out with you so don't worry about that.

Find someone else, easier said than done I know. Good luck

I hear ya... good luck, bro.