Anyone cheated on someone they were with?

Post Reply New Topic

And if yes, why?

not that much
but because i was disgusted by her body

77

ronpl. b whose body? Your gf's?

Came close to it a couple of times - the reason being is my ex of 2 years ago had some sort of a breakdown during the relationship and I ended up being a carer in a sense but not getting any love back. On the bright side they were a long term sufferer of depression and anxiety (which they didn't tell me) and it wasn't solely down to something I did triggering it! Anyways, loyalty and my principles got the better of me, even after alcohol and we ended the relationship rather than either of us doing something crazy.

I have been cheated on, I know what it feels like and it's not something I'd willingly go through with. How about you, OP? Have you, and if so why?

you cheated, we were 77 and you ruined it

JanuaryMan, unfortunately I have. Something I am not proud of, but felt cornered at the time. As I already had little self-esteem,I just went out looking for ways of feeling appreciated. I was married when I was 22, and rapidly started to hate my married life. My husband was very controlling and didn't understand my AS needs. I found a man who cared and it ony stopped when my husband found out. I did eventually have the guts to leave, but it took me 11 years. I never, ever cheated again and will not do it again. It's horrible. I have also been cheated on, and although unpleasant, it's worse to be the offender.

I guess it's worse to be the offender only when you get caught I can't say I agree with stance of a culprit being the victim, but don't beat yourself up too much about it. The main thing is you know not to do it again and wouldn't want to have that guilt. In all honesty we live in a time where "til death to us part" is a 30-50 years longer agreement than it was when the vows were initially introduced and there are so many vices "on tap" to us for when we are feeling low about ourselves. I don't think all people that do bad things mean to do them, society has an ill effect on people these days.

I felt bad but my train on thought was I would feel worse to hurt someone who said they loved me. But now, if I were to find a guy who would be better from me than my current one, I would just end it and move on. Not overlap again. But it's not easy, finding intelligent, decent men

Depends on your idea of cheating too - if your interpretation of it, is physical intimacy with someone else, that can be quite devastating for NT's to handle.

If however, its a massive emotional attachement to someone, with no physical expression at all, does that constitute cheating? Its perfectly possible to fall in love with someones mind if you never meet them - in person you would probably have slept with them if you could...right?

I think that's what we call "two timing" or seeing another person, if there's no physical intimacy and it is casual as opposed to long term.

Yes, good point Entek. Emotional or physical cheating. I think you can't help the former, but can the latter.

Yes, I think sleeping with someone is only a natural consequence of liking them. But, with the internet, there are lots of "virtual" cheaters. I'm just not sure if it's only NT's who would have an issue with it. I told my current bf if he cheats to tell me so I can break up with him, because it doesn't interest me if he finds he needs to sleep with other people when I do that already. Plus, I would be worried about possible diseases being spread.

How would *you* guys feel about being cheated? Would you feel hurt?

I've considered it, but I broke up with her before I did.

It isn't "cheating" unless you're married; thus, my answer is "No".

Fnord, what if you both have a verbal agreement that you are both to be monogamous whilst in a relationship together?

Depends on the agreements. If a person expects monogamous behavior, they usually let you know from the beginning and that's the appropriate time to make clear if you don't accept her entitlement.

That's called "Marriage" -- anything less is not a true commitment.

If you love a thing you'd better put a ring on it.