Please help :(

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I have gotten myself into a mess. I am female and I'm straight for the most part... I think... hell, I don't know!! !!

I am in a small program at my college. There are only a dozen of us in our class. There is another aspie girl and we struck up a friendship. We had been hanging out and drinking wine and getting along really well. After the first time we hung out, I started being surprised by my thoughts about her. I felt attracted to her. I was uncomfortable with the thoughts but still, I would say that I had a crush on her. It wore off... I think??...

I have to say that I don't do relationships. They freak me out and I don't understand them. I don't want to be in one. I don't have sex, it freaks me out. I also have trouble knowing what I'm feeling. I often feel separated from my surroundings.

So last night we drank wine together again. She was going on and on about how great she thinks I am, and how cute. She ended up admitting that she has a huge crush on me. She said she had never before been attracted to a girl but she is extremely attracted to me and just loves me to bits. I told her I'd had a bit of a crush on her before, too, and that this was interesting and I didn't know what to do. She ended up sleeping at my house and we just cuddled all night. Since then she has been texting me and saying she misses me.

Now I am in a state of panic. I am freaking out and I don't know what to do. I am terrified of relationships. I am terrified of being gay. I am all of a sudden terrified of her. I am not in a place right now where I can sustain a relationship.

I don't want to hurt her. I really like her, but I think my initial attraction is gone. I can't tell. I just cannot be with her. I cannot do a relationship... I am just not ready. This is all too fast. I don't know what to do!! I am not comfortable and I'm afraid I led her on by accident. I feel so guilty. I am just so sorry......

The worst part is that I have to see her every day because we are in the same class. She is very focused on me and notices/interprets everything I do and often takes it the wrong way... I just don't know how to act anymore! So I just wind up staring at the wall and looking like a robot...

I am just so scared. Please help me. What is the best way to let her down? It really isn't anything she did, but it kills me that she will blame herself for another "failure"... I just don't have it in me.

Just tell her that you have (or had?) a crush on her, but you haven't made up your mind about how you feel or what to do about it, and that you can't handle being in a more complex relationship right now. Since you two drink wine together, maybe try it after you've had some and are more relaxed (assuming wine relaxes you) if that seems to difficult to say while you're sober.

I think my new post might be relevant your problem: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt216413.html

I think alot of people live with some level of uncertainty on this issue.

Don't panic. I have been through that too, and time helps to clarify things. Like others have suggested, the best way forward, is to be honest with her about how you feel.

Good luck