ok i agree that men with aspergers have it harder.

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Solvejg
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25 Aug 2012, 12:21 am

I was watching this show, the undateables....I actually recognised lots of the stuff with the man Richard but men are more forgiving to my quirks. I am now on the side that men have it harder to date when they are on the spectrum.

Richard if you are on here.... Good luck.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztITGH30pdY[/youtube]



thewhitrbbit
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25 Aug 2012, 12:24 am

Since our society favors men making the first move, aspie males why have social anxiety def have it harder since they have to overcome this and impress the girl.

Girls on the other hand, usually need only show up, look reasonably put together, and not look like they have a pistol pointed at you.



redrobin62
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25 Aug 2012, 12:48 am

I see a lot of myself in Richard, also. The main difference, or one of them, anyway, is his interest in meeting a woman. It's pathetic, but I guess I'm at some crazy stage where I'm so critically alone, and not willing to do anything about it, that I will never meet anyone. Sad.



Solvejg
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25 Aug 2012, 1:00 am

thewhitrbbit wrote:
Since our society favors men making the first move, aspie males why have social anxiety def have it harder since they have to overcome this and impress the girl.

Girls on the other hand, usually need only show up, look reasonably put together, and not look like they have a pistol pointed at you.


did you watch the video? It had nothing to do with making the first move at all.



MacDragard
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25 Aug 2012, 1:11 am

Okay, the problem with Richard is NOT aspergers.

The problem with Richard, which I bet is the problem with most aspie guys, is that his mother is driving his life. Because he's dependent on her and she's an overbearing mother, Richard has not developed into a mature man - something that is very problematic for a guy in his 30's. She raised him to be this nice, cleancut BOY who lives a sheltered life. This is the worst position ANY guy can be in, especially when it comes to meeting women and dating. He never learned how to go out and take risks or how to face sheer adversity, and I'm sorry but you can't blame aspergers from preventing him from at least trying to do that.



Kindertotenlieder79
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25 Aug 2012, 1:21 am

MacDragard wrote:
Okay, the problem with Richard is NOT aspergers.

The problem with Richard, which I bet is the problem with most aspie guys, is that his mother is driving his life. Because he's dependent on her and she's an overbearing mother, Richard has not developed into a mature man - something that is very problematic for a guy in his 30's. She raised him to be this nice, cleancut BOY who lives a sheltered life. This is the worst position ANY guy can be in, especially when it comes to meeting women and dating. He never learned how to go out and take risks or how to face sheer adversity, and I'm sorry but you can't blame aspergers from preventing him from at least trying to do that.


The thing is is whether he stayed at home with mommy or had gone out into the big bad world, it really makes no difference. If he ends up with a partner, she's going to be an overbearing narcissist type like his mum. It's really one of those sad, inevitable things . . .



Shau
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25 Aug 2012, 1:40 am

>_< I couldn't keep watching, wow seeing that makes me feel a whole lot less depressed about MY social difficulties!

[edit] Good to see the second girl liked him. When in doubt, flex them guns!



MacDragard
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25 Aug 2012, 2:08 am

Kindertotenlieder79 wrote:
MacDragard wrote:
Okay, the problem with Richard is NOT aspergers.

The problem with Richard, which I bet is the problem with most aspie guys, is that his mother is driving his life. Because he's dependent on her and she's an overbearing mother, Richard has not developed into a mature man - something that is very problematic for a guy in his 30's. She raised him to be this nice, cleancut BOY who lives a sheltered life. This is the worst position ANY guy can be in, especially when it comes to meeting women and dating. He never learned how to go out and take risks or how to face sheer adversity, and I'm sorry but you can't blame aspergers from preventing him from at least trying to do that.


The thing is is whether he stayed at home with mommy or had gone out into the big bad world, it really makes no difference. If he ends up with a partner, she's going to be an overbearing narcissist type like his mum. It's really one of those sad, inevitable things . . .


You may be right about that, but I think he'd be less tolerable towards women with a controlling attitude, especially if they are explicit about it. Trojan horses are another story.



Kaizer
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25 Aug 2012, 4:45 am

I do not agree males have it easier.
It's harder for women to get diagnosed.
women also have to deal with advances and will obviously have problems with strongly executed unwanted advances.
People do not like accepting faults in women, particularly if they are wanted as a partner.
And lets face it if as a women you don't meet the ridiculous beauty standards AND have something wrong with you, your odds are not favourable.



Stalk
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25 Aug 2012, 5:10 am

MacDragard wrote:
Okay, the problem with Richard is NOT aspergers.

The problem with Richard, which I bet is the problem with most aspie guys, is that his mother is driving his life. Because he's dependent on her and she's an overbearing mother, Richard has not developed into a mature man - something that is very problematic for a guy in his 30's. She raised him to be this nice, cleancut BOY who lives a sheltered life. This is the worst position ANY guy can be in, especially when it comes to meeting women and dating. He never learned how to go out and take risks or how to face sheer adversity, and I'm sorry but you can't blame aspergers from preventing him from at least trying to do that.


I agree with you and he should be dating younger girls. I suspect the only reason he dates older women is that they are sympathetic to his condition but he uses that as an excuse to do what he wants. He is just looking for someone older to replace his mother, a companion, and perhaps make his mother even jealous so that she would stick to him. For me he is manipulating the situation to get his way.



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25 Aug 2012, 5:19 am

I don't see how Richard is undateable except for the fact that he might have difficulty meeting people and initiating a relationship. He's charismatic, witty, handsome, has some conversational skills, and he has apparently taken advantage on a sale of toilet bowl cleaner, or did the logical thing and bought in bulk.



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25 Aug 2012, 5:20 am

This was a little difficult to watch, but interesting nonetheless.


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25 Aug 2012, 5:21 am

Chronos wrote:
I don't see how Richard is undateable except for the fact that he might have difficulty meeting people and initiating a relationship. He's charismatic, witty, handsome, has some conversational skills, and he has apparently taken advantage on a sale of toilet bowl cleaner, or did the logical thing and bought in bulk.

I don't think there's anything wrong with him, and he seems perfectly nice. I'll never understand these things.


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25 Aug 2012, 6:10 am

Chronos wrote:
I don't see how Richard is undateable except for the fact that he might have difficulty meeting people and initiating a relationship. He's charismatic, witty, handsome, has some conversational skills, and he has apparently taken advantage on a sale of toilet bowl cleaner, or did the logical thing and bought in bulk.


Only prooves that good looks alone won't guarantee a relationship.



Solvejg
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25 Aug 2012, 6:30 am

Kurgan wrote:
Chronos wrote:
I don't see how Richard is undateable except for the fact that he might have difficulty meeting people and initiating a relationship. He's charismatic, witty, handsome, has some conversational skills, and he has apparently taken advantage on a sale of toilet bowl cleaner, or did the logical thing and bought in bulk.


Only prooves that good looks alone won't guarantee a relationship.


good looks and a clean toilet. :lol: OR he may just not throw out empty bottles.

actually i wonder how many aspies stock up on toiletries....I have a collection of toothpaste :oops:



Kurgan
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25 Aug 2012, 6:59 am

I stock up on toothbrushes. :)