Men, what do you think of women who are quiet and shy?

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minotaurheadcheese
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24 Jul 2012, 7:31 pm

Seems like in the thread about shy men, people have agreed that shyness is a problem for men and not so much for women. I'm not sure I concur, having found shyness a definite disadvantage romantically. So, men, what do you personally think? Would you rather date a woman who is shy and quiet, or more social and outspoken?


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Metaljordy
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24 Jul 2012, 7:34 pm

I personally prefer women who are social


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aspiemike
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24 Jul 2012, 7:39 pm

I am more likely to be quiet, but not necessarily shy at all. I have learned that much about myself. However, I do not want the shy quiet type fro a woman. It would be too similar to who I am.



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24 Jul 2012, 7:43 pm

I prefer a social woman because I'm shy.


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24 Jul 2012, 7:43 pm

It would depend on the rest of her personality and wether or not the shyness conflicts with it. But on average I think shy girls fare better than shy guys



minotaurheadcheese
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24 Jul 2012, 7:46 pm

Despite the title, women who date women, you should feel free to get in on this too :)


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24 Jul 2012, 7:48 pm

minotaurheadcheese wrote:
Despite the title, women who date women, you should feel free to get in on this too :)


Yep. these threads are targeted at either the pursuer and pursued more than just genders



aspiemike
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24 Jul 2012, 7:52 pm

MXH wrote:
It would depend on the rest of her personality and wether or not the shyness conflicts with it. But on average I think shy girls fare better than shy guys


There is a good reason for that. Women want "confident men", and shy and quiet usually means "lack of confidence." Men are not as likely to care about that. While there are good respectful men who won't exploit a woman who is shy and quiet, but try and get them out of there shell. On the contrary there are douchebags that will exploit because they may consider this type "an easy target"



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24 Jul 2012, 9:14 pm

Same as what I said in the other thread, which was this:

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metaldanielle wrote:
I like shy guys, but if he is too shy to even talk (or communicate thru other means) then I won't know he is interested and it won't go anywhere. I find the shyness endearing.

Pretty much same as this. I am rarely attracted to [girls] who are significantly more outgoing that me (and I'm not outgoing), but would also struggle to be attracted to a very shy person, because I wouldn't be able to "see" them, if you know what I mean.

What a [girl] is like around me matters. [She] can be quiet, shy, etc. in social settings, but if [she] doesn't open up to me it's going nowhere.



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24 Jul 2012, 9:53 pm

They sometimes attract my interest, but I've never been able to figure out how to be the outgoing one.

I suppose a more outgoing person would in a sense be easier to date, but not necessarily a better fit.



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24 Jul 2012, 10:30 pm

I will say, when I push myself to come across as confident and outgoing the quality of the attention I receive goes up.
When I seem shy or vulnerable I sometimes get approached more, but always by someone who seems to want something they can dominate.

When I'm pursuing a woman, I'm going to be more likely to go after someone who matches my own social energy level.
I don't find extreme shyness or hesitancy attractive because I feel like I'm imposing or pushing someone out of their comfort one (which is a bad thing romantically).


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24 Jul 2012, 10:44 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Same as what I said in the other thread, which was this:

yellowtamarin wrote:
metaldanielle wrote:
I like shy guys, but if he is too shy to even talk (or communicate thru other means) then I won't know he is interested and it won't go anywhere. I find the shyness endearing.

Pretty much same as this. I am rarely attracted to [girls] who are significantly more outgoing that me (and I'm not outgoing), but would also struggle to be attracted to a very shy person, because I wouldn't be able to "see" them, if you know what I mean.

What a [girl] is like around me matters. [She] can be quiet, shy, etc. in social settings, but if [she] doesn't open up to me it's going nowhere.


Pretty much this!


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24 Jul 2012, 10:48 pm

I personally prefer women who are a little shy and introverted. Extremes are never good though ;).



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24 Jul 2012, 11:02 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
I will say, when I push myself to come across as confident and outgoing the quality of the attention I receive goes up.
When I seem shy or vulnerable I sometimes get approached more, but always by someone who seems to want something they can dominate.

When I'm pursuing a woman, I'm going to be more likely to go after someone who matches my own social energy level.
I don't find extreme shyness or hesitancy attractive because I feel like I'm imposing or pushing someone out of their comfort one (which is a bad thing romantically).


This is pretty much exactly how I feel about shyness, and definitely about people who approach me when I'm in a particularly vulnerable state.

Although, if a shy girl comes out of her shell and tries to get my attention/let me know she's interested in me, I might pursue something in that situation but it would still depend on her being able to speak up and feel confident around me.



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24 Jul 2012, 11:17 pm

They can be interesting, but in my experience, women who are quiet and shy in particular are often up to something. Suddenly, they can break out of being shy in order to gossip. The thing is, you have someone who's more socially vulnerable, but also someone who can bluff and play below their level of social competence very easily in order to mislead, or lull someone into a false sense of security. The same applies to anyone regardless of sex or gender.



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24 Jul 2012, 11:55 pm

I like the shy but social (open) type, as there are plenty of women in my country who are introverted and arrogant as f**k at the same time. Sort of like a played form of shyness in order to not talk to you and ignore you.