OkCupid Review by The Irate Dater

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When you think of one of the most hardest dating sites to use, I guarantee you that OkCupid is on your top 5 list. Released only on Internet Explorer, OkCupid is the perfect predecessor to eHarmony. It makes me wonder why OkCupid was only released on Internet Explorer and not any other web browser.

So I log into OkCupid and...what a pixelated nightmare! You mean to tell me there's ads on this site? And what's with these quizzes? What a shedload of s**t! I mean, how come there isn't a flashy intro? Where's all the scrolling marquees? How about the background music? If only the site developers did away with the ads, the quizzes, and the personality comparisons and used the extra space to upgrade the graphics, then we would have a legendary dating website. Instead, we just have to settle for what looks like a pile of poop!

After doing some further research, the site has a feature called the A-List, which is supposed to get rid of the ads and add more variables to my search. Alright! So I go to sign up for the A-List and...$9.95 + TAX?! ! Why the hell would I pay $9.95 + tax to use a friggin' dating site. This is ridiculous! f**k this s**t! What a load of assburgers with a side of fries!

So I put up my profile, put up a picture or two, and...what the hell?! Profile not complete?! What kind of cock-sucking, deer-raping, ass-slapping fuckfest is this?! I get more pleasure sticking my dick into a fan! Well, anyways, after doing further research, I discovered that in order to complete the profile, you have to answer a whole bunch of personality questions. Just who the hell has time to do this? I bet some twisted site developer is laughing his ass off. Well ladi-da! So it's time to break out the montage!

*Montage of me raising my profile completeness meter while grunting and montage music playing in the background.*

Finally!! !

So once your profile is complete, you're ready to search for potential matches. Here, you have the option to search in basic mode or advanced mode. In the advanced mode, you can select your match's age, sex, height, location, marital status, number of kids, and if she listens to Van Halen. *plays "Jump"*. Bitchin'!

So I find this one girl of interest named SallyChick748. Alright, let's check out her pictures. Hot damn, what a babe. Let's see what kind of pick-up line I can use on her! I know...

"Hey baby, like your profile. Come check out mine so we can rub profiles together. Signed: The Irate Dater."

*Click Send*

Alright, let's see what her response will be.

*clock ticks*

*looks bored waiting for her email*

*frantically pushes the refresh button*

So after five minutes of waiting, guess what? NOTHING! What a bunch of dickwaffles! I thought online dating was supposed to be fun. Why the f**k do I have to wait more than five minutes for some girl to reply?!

While I wait, I think I will email some other girls...*insert montage*

Alright, finally, a message! Let's see what it says...

"Hi, I checked out your profile, and I'm afraid I don't think we'd be a good match. I'm looking for a man who is deep in his faith and is very close to God. Good luck on your search!"

Good luck on your search?! What the f**k is that supposed to mean?! And also, this girl's a Christian? I didn't see her at a church in her profile pictures. Hell, I didn't even see her wearing a cross. Well...after doing some further research by reading her profile, I discovered that she made a huge point about only wanting to date other Christian men who think like she does. Well lah-dee f****n' da! How the hell was I supposed to know that? I don't have time to read profiles; I just have to message the hell out of these women!

So anyways, final verdict, OkCupid sucks, and is a piece of s**t *Throws screenshot of OkCupid out the window*.

He makes SOME valid points, but also acts like a moron... not sure what to think...

It's probably just meant to be fun. I began to suspect it when he complained at the lack of flashy intros.

anyone who messages someone without reading their whole profile deserves what they get.

Ok then.

OKcupid works just fine on firefox and google chrome I am pretty sure it works on safari as well.

OKcupid sucks lol. Even though he was too lazy to read the profiles, it's still a really lame site.

Wait he got a reply?


I'm doing it wrong then

I couldn't disagree more... I like OkCupid better than any of the others I have tried (eharmony, match, chemistry, christianmingle, etc)... It is the only site that actually matches me with people I find interesting.
All of the other sites have one or more of the following problems (all of which are deal breakers for me)
1. Buggy or difficult to navigate pages
2. Way off base on the personality stuff (chemistry.com seems to think I am a social butterfly... seriously?)
3. Terrible matching engine (matches that are twice my age or 7,000 miles away - even though I have everything set properly in my preferences)

The only other site that even comes close to providing decent matches is gk2gk.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS9h4T1fRY4

I am on OKCupid as well. I actually joined and answered over 1000 questions to prove to a friend that 99% is not perfect and 80% give or take is not the worst thing in the world. He had already found out a high match with a voluminous amount of common interests did not equal a successful relationship.

We happen to not live close to each other and thus do not date. We would if geographically possible though. We get along well, we do have important common interests. We have some extreme differences in various aspects of life, but as friends they don't get in the way.

Knowing our distinct differences, I joined and answered these questions terribly honestly. Even most sex questions. I didn't like putting that info up for viewing by strangers. I don't mind giving a prospective boyfriend some direction in these matters, and then reveal more in discussion / interaction as we date. Not so much all up front.

I can see how the questions are tedious, but could cut through alot of conversation or discussion and thus make possible connections easier from the beginning.

My friend and I ended up with a match in the 80% range, enemy "match" nearly 20%. Since we already know each other, like each other, sometimes even desire each other, know each others deep faults.... I felt it helpful perspective.

There is alot that is aggravating about OKCupid. Also, I have other issues that require an even more "niche" dating site so I wasn't really gunning for dates on OKCupid. I got ALOT of visits, more messages from men than I figured. Particularly since my profile states clearly although I'm looking for a friend with benefits, all questions / profile posted is for the benefit of one man. I think that encouraged all the attention! LMAO!! !! !! !

Good luck in your dating pursuits

My only email I ever got from that site was a 14 year old fur baby boy...

lol wut

Not kidding. It was a 14 year old boy with cat ears and a diaper...