I really like a guy who has Aspergers and i'm nt...Advice?

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Well i'm NT and there's this guy on my course at uni who I really like but I can't tell if he likes me. I've spoken to him quite a lot and he told me that he was diagnosed with mild Aspergers. I invited to him to a dinner party I had with some friends and quite a lot of people cancelled so I let him know he didn't have to come if he didn't want to. He did and it was just me and him and my friend. He was lovely to talk to and I keep finding more and more that I really like him. After uni I invited a group of people (including him) to come for a drink and he didn't come so I texted him to ask if he was busy and he said he didn't realize that I'd invited him so he did come even though he'd already gone home. He made more eye contact with me than anyone else but he did look at my breasts quite a lot and it was very noticeable. I didn't mind though I was just a bit embarrassed. He talked a lot about his interests which is great because I have the same and he kept asking if it was ok to carry on because he didn't want anyone to find him boring. I just would like to know how to approach it as I tried hinting before I knew that he has Apergers and now I realize that wasn't the best thing to do! The problem is that when it comes to men I'm quite insecure and although I seem confident I find it hard to talk about my emotions and I don't know how direct I could be without knowing if he liked me. I would love for someone to be able to give me some insight as I would really like to get to know him better and I really don't want to make him feel uncomfortable! Any advise would be fantastic!
Thanks

Insecure women who need frequent affirmation may feel neglected and alone in an aspie relationship; being there for someone emotionally can be a second language for many of us. Id recommend watching a movie or reading some literature on aspergers before getting too involved. The movie "Adam" is a great movie that shows some of the challenges and pitfalls of aspie relationships, but the character in the movie cannot represent all aspies, as we are all different.

Based on his behavior, such as leaving home and joining you for drinks after be thought he wasn't invited, I'd say this guy likes you very much and would probably walk miles to have a drink with you. At the same time, I can't say I know he likes you for the person you truly are. There will be many things about you he may not currently, or ever, fully understand. If you don't mind someone loving the mystery that is you, maybe this could work. If you really need to be validated and understood on a regular basis, you're probably going to find this prospect doesn't fit the bill.

If you can though, I can tell you that you'll never know someone more honest, loyal, and more commited (within their ability) to you than an aspie; that's just my opinion though. Good luck either way!

well i'm only insecure at the start of things...i'm just unsure...once i know that someone is interested e.g. going on a date...i'm fine it's just getting over that first hurdle for me!
thanks so much for the insight though. I've known him for a few months now and I really thought about it so I might try and be more direct...is that the best thing to do?

Wow, an NT girl who likes an Aspie guy? I wish I could have met someone like you in college. For me, it's always the other way around, and the results are usually dire

Well after getting to know him I just think he's wonderful. And I've learnt that judging people on the surface just gets you into trouble anyway (e.g. past bfs). You need to find someone who'll get to know you and listen to what you have to say...it obviously helps if they have the same interests! my problem is i'm just a wimp when it comes to asking someone out on a date!

I've had a pretty successful relationship with my wife--it has gotten much better since we both realized I have Aspergers. The key to any relationship is communication--don't assume that knows anything regarding social etiquette. If you want something from an Aspie, ask--don't try to give hints--most likely we will never figure it out, no matter how bright we are otherwise.

And, congratulations on hooking up! Hope it turns out well!

Well, I would have to say that if he were to like you, he would have to forget his thoughts and go with his feelings. Hard for an Aspie, I know this. But last night, I met someone that we both mutually found attractive almost instantly and we didn't think about things, we just went with what felt right at the moment. Maybe he never experienced something like that. Maybe you should go with your feelings on this one yourself instead of just thinking about it.

I tried every trick up my sleeve to create ways to show I likedmy BF, but he still had no idea! I had t5o suck it up and be direct, which was very hard since I'm very shy, but I was really to do it. And it worked out well.

Yeah, an Aspie guy will need a lot of prodding from a female, before he even notices she's interested. She may have to take the initiating role in the courtship. Someone would have to be extremely unsubtle for me to notice their interest. I've had guys come up to me and say 'man, that girl was totally into you' and I would be totally oblivious. 'Really? '

Conversely, I've misread signals before, and interpreted friendliness as interest.

So,I suppose women looking for an aspie guy will have to make their intentions very clear, and take the lead. Sometimes the guy is incapable of doing so, does not even know she likes him, and is too shy around women to do anything

On behalf of all aspie men everywhere*...

"Go get 'im, Tiger!!"

Make it known (without %^@#@!#@# "hinting") that if he were to ask you out, you'd say yes!




* not actually speaking for all aspie men everywhere and is more of a personal opinion.

I think it's good your interested and interested in learning.

There's a few things worth nothing though.

Aspies may struggle with affirming affection.

Aspies may require a lot of time alone

Aspies may not be a reliable social outing companion.

But

Aspies may be very loyal

Aspies most likely will not be players

The best advice is to understand these issues and be prepared to live with them.