Tips for the men around here.

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I keep seeing the same trends in the so called advice around here. But I also see the people have their motives and ideas to thank for said advice. So I figured id collect some Dos and Donts for the men around here.

Do work on your appearance. No there is no specific that women like, but work on how you see yourself as most attractive. Chances are youll also find women who find that attractive and with your newfound personal boost of finding yourself attractive you may be able to stop second guessing yourself.

As mentioned above, confidence while good to have is not the end all characteristic. Its good to have some, its bad to have none, but it wont make you successful by itself. Its also not as easy to get as most suggest around here. Many men try a "fake it till you make it" approach to this, while challenging at first it can pay off in the long run. Though dont go so far to make it obvious you're faking it. No stories about dogfighting T-rexs in F14s over venice. Dont say anything you cant back up in the least bit.

Dating site profiles need to have a target. And I dont mean by looks, personality types, NT/AS, etc. The target is what they are looking for relationship wise. Are you looking for an online friend, casual partner, longterm partner or f**k buddy. For online friend the written part will be the most important bits of your profile. For a f**k buddy it will be your pictures. For a casual partner it will be 65%pictures and for long term 65% written. By that I mean you wouldnt post a picture of yourself on a mirror after talking of how sweet you are with animals and such. It doesnt mix. It brings mixed messages and can be offputting. Find the target, and create something to after it.

Your messages should be short, sweet and to the point. Ive noticed most respond better to a simple question than an outright statement. "I like girls with flower paintings" isnt going to turn any heads. "I like that painting on your picture, does it have a meaning to you?" will make it sound more appealing and will leave her something to actually respond about. And you can learn something about her. Triple score!

Avoid copypasta messages. If this is your idea of messaging, then dont even bother. Im sure youd hate it if someone sent you a generic message showing not even enough interest to read your profile.

Some here suggest that after messaging a girl online if she doesnt reply to send her a message to put her on the spot. While she is bound to reply out of a mixture of frustration and shame, would you want to go out with someone that did it to you? No you wouldnt, because any reason that you would and you wouldnt have ignored them in the first place.

Watch some PUA videos online. Now now, bear with me here. Im not saying go around and neg random girls or stupid BS of that matter. Or routines, parlor tricks, etc. If you want to go down the PUA route then stop being a wuss and do it, youll find out why i dont recomend it. Now on the plus side if you simply study the material, and understand why some bits work and why some dont you can learn quite a lot about interactions. Example being ways to tell if someone is even remotely interested in you. Again, no need for stupid tricks here. Something as simple as a friendly wave that is obviously directed at a specific girl before approaching her can tell you if she has even the smallest ammount of interest in you. Now a wave might be a bit too serious, maybe try raising your drink, cheers, the six shooters, etc. Something that shows you're playfull/not a threat and can give a response from her. Again, go on youtube, and search for different PUA material. Skip the bs lessons and stick to the social interaction parts. Lots to be learned for people on the spectrum there.

Learn to move on. It comes a point where we all know that the girl has no interest in us. And unlike you are thinking of "maybe if i say something funny shell come back to me" chances are theres nothing you can say/do to fix it. Just move on. If you can see nothing is moving in a good direction, start looking for the next one. Take a No as a no. Not as a playing hard to get message.

On the other side of moving on, you should only approach or talk to someone you actually would like to, and not simply for the sake of it. It makes it so much more worth to have something you want than making it like a chore.

Since theres many here that have some insecurities about themselves, be it having AS, virginity, physicalinsecurities, etc. Ive found it always to be better to let those things into a relationship after they get to know you and like you. From the begining all those things will do is show that you are weak and unwanted and they will run for the next douche who wont be any of those. Now if they already know you, and there is a level of trust there, saying those things can help bring you together.

While the easiest way to find a woman is via your social circle its not impossible or unheard of to find someone if you dont have a social circle. Just be known about areas where its not as easy/acceptable to approach women. Do so in areas that people go to have fun in. Be it clubs, parks, malls, etc. A classroom, library, etc exchange wont go as well because les face it, she has things to do. And by that i dont mean you.

And with the social circles, if you find yourself friendzoned dont think of it as the end of the world. Girls are bound to have other female friends. So you just entered a new social circle to participate on. Its not the easiest of tracks but its not impossible to run through it.

Also, if you dont have the ability to date (i mean this like monetary, time, etc.) then dont force it on yourself. I am in this specific zone, Im broke, boredering on homeless and have a distinct lack of transportation for anything not approved by those maintaining me. Theres not much i can do about it, even if i had a stampede of girls throwing themselves at me theres nothing i could do about it. So I took myself off the dating pool until I get that sorted out. That doesnt mean delete all your profiles and forget about dating. If anything its a good time to try different things and see how they affect how people view your profile and react to you. That way you have more knowledge when you're ready

When on dating sites and whatnot, its best to meet with the people as soon as possible. Now, dont rush it though! The thing is personalities (and looks) dont travel through the net as aparent as face to face. Its easier to appear better online, you can pick how people see you and can take all the time in the world to think of a response. And btw, this is a two way street. This is also something you could have been using to get her more interested in you. Chances are you want a relationship irl, so get it to there before you get too invested in it.

Wow, I cant believe I left this one out.

Guys, stop being white knights to get women. Its the most pathetic thing you can do. Honestly it has as much chance as simply asking if she wants your dick. Actually it has less chance because atleast when you ask her if she wants your dick its direct enough to eventually get a positive response. you're not fooling anyone, its so obvious to see guys bending left and right to get the praise of a woman. Guess what, women dont want that (except the ones that want doormats), chances are you end up being just another wannabe in their eyes. Grow a spine, and a brain, and form your own views and opinions. you're not rescuing anyone, and even if you were you cant expect shed fall for you just because you rescued her. Havent you watched the movie with quasimodo? It wasnt the defender white knight that got the girl, it was the pretty guy with personality and a level of badassery.

Ill add more as they come to me. Feel free to add your own, I will comment or respond to them.

I always had great success by staring at my shoes and mumbling Star Trek trivia.

Good job!

One thing I will add: If your get friend zoned, or a girl rejects you even if she is only an acquaintance, don't be mean to her and do not be bitter about it. If you have a good attitude, she will apprectiate that and put in a good word for you among her friends and her acquaintances and social circle. Women take other women's recommendations fairly seriously. Guys who are sincerely cool and who can take rejection well will get set up even if indirectly by those that have rejected you.

The idea that there are these arbitrary "leagues" ruins a lot of potentially good relationships. Settling for anything less than what would be absolutely best to you is pretty much going to lead to being let down in one way or another. I put up with it for two years and I got absolutely nothing out of it except for disappointment. Nobody should have to feel like they are settling or that they can't do better.

I kind of wonder what would happen if you go friendzoned by a girl but became good friends with her and after a while asked her if she had any friends who would be a good match. I don't really know how often people do that but I haven't seen that much, it's pretty direct, but I wonder how well it might work. I think it's gotten to a point personally where i consider being friendzoned a good thing, because it's WAY better than flat out rejection. You get into a social circle with a girl who can put a good word in for you! Not only that, but they're invaluable for dating advice and learning how they think. You don't have to hit a home run your first at bat to win the game in the end.