Dating/Relationship standards too high?

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Ok I have been on group dates before but nothign one on one. I dont* smoke, drink or have sex, and Im a Christian, but Im not a goody too shoes either. Im just not interested in the whole smoking,drinking, sex thing that is almost in every working relationship, that I have observed in real life and studied.

I like a bit of romance, intelligence, responsibility, caring, etc are my priorities(besides avoiding the ones listed up above*)
So with that being written, are my standards wayy to high for dating/having relationships in todays world?

I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have sex; either (though the latter is not entirely by choice, I'd enjoy doing it with someone special in the context of a loving relationship). All my life, I've felt out of place in my generation. It has probably indeed led me to not fit into today's dating (or 'hook up') culture. People that don't prescribe to the hedonistic youth culture of today are likely to be left in the cold; at least in the short term. Long term, we may find relationships, but we won't be allowed to participate in the dating game as twenty somethings.

There's nothing wrong with your standards, there's something wrong with the way the game works these days. Traditional dating is all but dead.

It seems to me that the only people who give a damn about actually having a meaningful relationship are the ones who are considered the social outcasts. These are also usually the people who actually have two brain cells to rub together and aren't one of the usual Jersey Shore wannabes. Thus, by staying an outcast, I am sure I will eventually meet other outcasts, and we can have a meaningful loving relationship without all of the usual BS that sounds like it belongs on a mid-afternoon soap opera.

I would like to add that I dont get the point of Flirting with people?

The problem here is that by asking if your standards are "too high", you're somewhat implying that you think you're above those who drink and smoke and have sex. This kind of snobbishness can make it difficult to date, even with a girl who agrees with all the things that you do. I'm not telling you that you should START drinking and smoking, just try not to look down on those who do so much.

You should do what makes you happy, but you have limited your dating pool, and you may have to persue non-conventional options.

There are lots of Christians who date and have meaningful relationships. There are many people who don't smoke and wait till marriage to have sex. (Now if your saying you don't want to have sex after marriage, well yeah that is going to be a deal killer.)

As for the drinking, if you expect your partner not to drink at all, that will limit you. Sorry, but I have to be honest. The vast majority will at least drink socially.

But if that's how you choose to live, there is nothing wrong with it. If you put yourself above others because they drink or smoke or have sex, well that would not be good.

I would suggest trying to find dates within a religious setting.

And flirting is simply a way you express interest in someone.

On the contrarie Im trying to imply that I dont do those things. Its fine if you or anyone else does Their just my standards. I have friends who do this stuff alot.

It's okay to cross some things off your list if you know they're 100% deal-breakers. Kissing a smoker when you're not one is really, really icky!
Ruling out the wild, drinking party animals if you would hate being stuck in that environment is just sensible too.

No, I don't think her expectations are unreasonable here. It's not like her list is a page long of unreasonable things.

I agree with that too. I could never date a smoker or alcoholic. But in the over 40 group like me, most aren't into partying much anyway. But I don't want a single mom either and that eliminates most women.

Really? People over 40+ dont smoke or party alot? I think I was born in the wrong generation now, unfortuentely Id feel awckward dating someone twice my age.

I'm not too keen on smokers, unless she's into 'God's Green Herb', and I'm not too big on alcoholic chicks. I do like a good partier, just someone who doesn't overdo it. (I do love a good party with some Bacardi) Sex, well, that's self explanitory. XD

When it comes on dating, you must know on how to accept your partner especially if it is a blind date.

No drinking or drugs here either. But I do have sex sometimes because I am married. I didn't have it when I was meeting guys. I did have it in my first relationship.

Most my age aren't into partying that much and want a LTR (not one night stands), but unfortunately most DO smoke! And probably some alcoholics but most put down "social drinking" on profiles.

You can't put those three in the same box, really. Smoking and drinking are things people generally do in groups, so if you find a group that isn't into it you'll be fine. Sex, on the other hand, might be expected of you if you enter a relationship, but talking about it beforehand can come off as awkward.

Are your standards too "high?" Well, considering that most guys consider a woman who wants sex to be desirable, your standards are actually (comparatively) very low.



Showing interest? If you don't flirt, how are they supposed to know you like them? NTs can't actually read minds (even if it seems like they can.)

I think having high standards is a good thing, because you dont waste time on guys that are wrong for you!