Can't figure out my next option...

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okay, so here's my dilemma: These past two weeks I've been working on the as the stage right spotlightman at a local theater presenting the children's nutcracker(with children as the actors and usually it's their families and relatives who come to see them perform). It's a popular thing for children 5-13 in my city. I'm a part of the stagecrew, who are the people who move and remove the props backstage while the curtains are closed and do things of that sort, and most of which are legal adults. It's comprised of about 10 people, including me and the people behind the seats in the booth who control the lights and the technical stuff. anyway, there's a girl who's 20, i think, on the backstage stagecrew that I have taken a liking to. She's short, probably just as tall as me and I'm average height for my age. She wears a lip ring and has combed back orange hair that's medium length, meaning it doesn't go very far below the skull. She has a cute face, mostly wears black, though I wouldn't consider her a goth. She's not extremely thin but nowhere near overweight. Her personality is nice and friendly but she's not the overfriendly type. I like the fact that she's not the popular girly type and i love her personality. I think my avatar should explain my personality, though I have long black and straight hair that is often in front of my face and I wear a black sweatshirt, black pants, black shirt and black shoes(oddly, everyone on the backstage crew which is 7 all wear all black). What makes this a problem is that I'm 15. I really don't know how to communicate with her, or anyone for that matter. *sigh* I guess what I'm asking is what should i do? I've really fallen for her and either want to alleviate my extreme interst in her or take the next step. I'm naturally(because of my AS) more inclined to go with the first option.

Well, let me get this out of the way first: I'm not promising optimism here. I wish I could say I was, but, well....

Do you know if she's single? That's important. If not, then option 1 is even easier. If she's not available then it wouldn't go anywhere. If the answer is no, and she is single, consider this, and I'm not bringing up any of these points with the intention of being all "You too young, boy, you gotta grow up more first," just to bring some things up that she might consider.

Is she living with her parents or not? If she's out on her own, the whole living with parents thing (regardless of your age) likely won't go well.

She's five years your senior, that's a fact of life. My guess (and it is only a guess, accuracy not guaranteed to any percentage) is that if you do take some next step, she will likely be flattered, and think it is "cute." That's right, the dreaded "cute" word. And probably more the puppy dog cute than anything else. Just be aware of that if you haven't thought of it already.

Past that, well, the best way to get past her is to take the next step and get rejected. If you take the next step and aren't rejected, then you don't have to get past her. As for what to do? Uh...sorry... I don't have the slightest idea. Hopefully this has been more than an insomnia-fueled ramble session.

I think friendship is your best hope, if you are willing to settle for that. The age gap is too wide. If you were both five years older - another story.

Talk to her about things to do with the theater and get to know her. Maybe she's got a younger sister. Maybe if you become friends you can make your move in say five years time.

Otherwise, enjoy and take in her beauty, give her small compliments. 'I like the way you have your hair', or 'I like your shirt', that could also go as just friendly.

hello...heard of statutory rape?If you two were to develop even a "friendship" and she became romantic towards you,ending in sex......she could get in a lot of trouble.I am not saying that this is "right" but it is the law,and if you care about someone you would prefer not getting them arrested.
Keep it casual.

Its important to note the law, but at the same time it would be highly unlikely, in the given circumstances, for such charges to be followed. If the situation were reversed, and he were 5 years older, or the genders were reversed, then it would be a lot more "serious" in today's society.

Besides, no sense worrying about that until / unless he gets to that point. Extra stress would only make things more difficult.

Oye Vey.

Right off the bat this has problems.

what you are feeling is lust for this person. that's an end all situation which can be solved.

second off, if you two aren't even friends, then right there is your second problem.

thrid off. mate, you're 15, she's 20. Bloody audious right there. if she's 20 she's in college. so right there is your problem. though I shouldn't be talking, i'm 19 and i dated a 27 year old girl......eh...not something I like to talk about.

my best advice would be to focus on something else here. I'm not trying to be mean or cruel, but trying to help out a fellow brother.

CORRECTION: She's actually 18

stillllll....that is a problem.

I think that makes a difference.That is less of an age gap.I tended to like people who were younger then me,by a few years.I think it would be worth the effort to get to know her better.If you are a nice guy,she might prefer that to some of the "macho" types in her own age group.Problem might be how to "hook up" without a car,makes it difficult to ask someone out on a date....."Would you like to see a movie?OK,you can pick me up at 7pm",if she is cool she wont mind doing the driving.I say ,what do you have to lose by at least trying to develop a friendship.

the driving issue.

Thanks for the input krex. I'm just going to make it clear that unfortunately because of her sexual orientation, which is fine with me, I don't think a relationship is very likely, of course unless it was a sort of platonic relationship. I explained it here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ic&t=21653

Sorry to hear about this major disappointment,been there.I have a history of obsessive crushes on people who are unatainable.Honestly,they have never completly disappeared unless I actually date the person.I still think about a guy I liked in 8th and 9th grade and I am 43!It does get a little less intense when you meet someone new to obsess over...but thats a bit like trading in your crack for some heroin....hardly a "solution" to addiction.Hope you find someone who can be mutually obsessed with you...

I am sorry man. Just because she is bi or lesbian does not mean you can attempt to befriend her. I get along with bi people just fine as long as they do not hit on me.

Merry Christmas!

Yeah.

like Double A said. there is nothing wrong with being friends with them.