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Wolfheart
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22 Mar 2013, 9:59 am

A girl I was seeing completely flipped out because I told her I'm looking for someone who is skinny and into fitness. She's not a cardio bunny but she's not chubby either, she's about a size 12.

I simply told this girl that I didn't want someone that isn't willing to put as much effort into exercise as I do and she started crying. I find neurotypical women to be far too emotional and dynamic, I try to establish my point but they press on, it's always a psychological game with them or reverse psychology...I just don't think I'm suited to be with a neurotypical person.

Ryan Vincent West: And she's skinnier, blonde and she listens to me.
[14:14:29] Anna: excuse me?
[14:14:40] Anna: how could you say such a nasty thing
[14:14:49] Ryan Vincent West: What are you talking about?
[14:14:59] Anna: that there are hotter girls
[14:15:05] Anna: skinnier than me
[14:15:10] Anna: blonde
[14:15:25] Anna: youve made me cry
[14:15:41] Ryan Vincent West: Don't be daft.
[14:15:51] Anna: no
[14:15:53] Anna: you just said
[14:15:54] Anna: hotter
[14:16:01] Anna: and skinnier than me
[14:16:30] Anna: i dont deserve that
[14:20:35] Ryan Vincent West: That's just how it is..why should I settle for someone who doesn't put as much effort into training as I do?
[14:20:48] Anna: how dare you
[14:22:09] Anna: just leave me alone
[14:22:38] Ryan Vincent West: No, I think I have a fair point..
[14:22:44] Anna: no u dont
[14:25:14] Anna: i have other passions
[14:25:30] Anna: doesnt make yours any more valid
[14:25:46] Anna: i dont why you bother to talk to me
[14:25:58]Anna: you say that you really like me and want a relationship, then stick this other girl in my face, saying she is prettier and skinnier.
[14:26:19] Anna: just go be with her then
[14:26:22] Anna: i couldnt give a damn
[14:26:33] Anna: i dont want someone in my life who is going to treat me like s**t
[14:27:01] Ryan Vincent West: [14:26:19] Anna: just go be with her then That's what I will do.
[14:27:47] Anna: you are a liar
[14:27:51] Anna: and have made me cry
[14:27:56] Ryan Vincent West: Liar about what?
[14:28:02] Anna: telling me how you felt about me
[14:28:07] Anna: was a f*****g lie
[14:28:40] Anna: i tried to help you
[14:28:47] Anna: and you just picked me apart
[14:28:58] Anna: you promised me you would never hurt me
[14:29:41] Anna: and there you go making me cry



Geekonychus
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22 Mar 2013, 10:04 am

Dude.......From the context of the situation it sounds like you were being a complete jerk. You compared her appearence unfavorably to another girl and then rather than apologize you staunchly defended your position digging yourself in even deeper. Way out of line. You're in the wrong here.



Last edited by Geekonychus on 22 Mar 2013, 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

yamato_rena
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22 Mar 2013, 10:06 am

How did the topic come up? Were you intending to break up with her? At least as a girl, I can understand her thought process, although I think she overreacted a little bit. It's sort of a rule of thumb that you try not to compare other girls to the one you're seeing. At least not in conversation with the one you're seeing.



AspieOtaku
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22 Mar 2013, 10:10 am

Thats not a NT woman thing thats a woman thing in general I dont know how to put it bluntly enough, however I am going to say this, be careful what you say and how you say things around women they are very emotionally sensative! To her you were deeming her inferior to other women and it hurt her feelings and self esteem!


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Last edited by AspieOtaku on 22 Mar 2013, 10:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Geekonychus
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22 Mar 2013, 10:12 am

Wolfheart wrote:
[14:20:35] Ryan Vincent West: That's just how it is..why should I settle for someone who doesn't put as much effort into training as I do?
[14:20:48] Anna: how dare you
[14:22:09] Anna: just leave me alone
[14:22:38] Ryan Vincent West: No, I think I have a fair point..
[14:22:44] Anna: no u dont
[14:25:14] Anna: i have other passions
[14:25:30] Anna: doesnt make yours any more valid

[

Regardless of any emotional intent from either side this is the most valid point in the conversation.......The gym is YOUR obsession and it's completely unfair to expect the other person to also be a roided-up muscle fiend.



Wolfheart
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22 Mar 2013, 10:17 am

I pasted this conversation to her because she was ranting on about something, I'm not sure what. I will call her Girl B to protect my privacy and of course, protect her but this was the conversation that I pasted to her.

Ryan Vincent West
Aww ok babe I could come around there and snuggle up with you xxxxx
Girl B
Aw you can anyway gorgeous xxxxx
Ryan Vincent West
Aww thanks but you're the gorgeous one xxxxx
Girl B
I'm not honestly haha xxxxx
Ryan Vincent West
haha you are xxxxx
Girl B
Both are xxxxxxx
Ryan Vincent West
but you're more gorgeous xxxxx
Girl B
No way xxxxxxxx
Ryan Vincent West
you are xxxxx



MXH
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22 Mar 2013, 10:18 am

And that folks is how not to be suggestive



yamato_rena
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22 Mar 2013, 10:24 am

8O Uh... yeah. Don't do that in the future. This entire conversation sounds like it was uniquely designed to get Girl A jealous and upset. I don't really blame her for her reaction.



Geekonychus
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22 Mar 2013, 10:25 am

If I'm getting the context here.........You showed her a flirty private conversation with another girl for what purpose?



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22 Mar 2013, 10:25 am

Wolfheart wrote:
I pasted this conversation to her because she was ranting on about something, I'm not sure what. I will call her Girl B to protect my privacy and of course, protect her but this was the conversation that I pasted to her.

Ryan Vincent West
Aww ok babe I could come around there and snuggle up with you xxxxx
Girl B
Aw you can anyway gorgeous xxxxx
Ryan Vincent West
Aww thanks but you're the gorgeous one xxxxx
Girl B
I'm not honestly haha xxxxx
Ryan Vincent West
haha you are xxxxx
Girl B
Both are xxxxxxx
Ryan Vincent West
but you're more gorgeous xxxxx
Girl B
No way xxxxxxxx
Ryan Vincent West
you are xxxxx


Wait...

You posted THIS conversation to Anna, besides telling her that this girl B who you flirted with behind her back is hotter/better than her and then get surprised that Anna gets upset?

I've already made my mind very clear to you about your ways of treating women, but this was a really low blow of you...

Take responsibility, change your manners and STOP presenting yourself as some sort of a hero or victim of your stories.


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MXH
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22 Mar 2013, 10:25 am

Ok, a couple of things
First you left her full name. Mistakes like this are why you or anybody else should stay away from posting chat logs.
Second. Telling girls about the other hot girls doesn't work like it does with guys. Especially not when you tell them all you want to be serious
Third. Going ahead and showing her a catalog of another girl toying around isn't going to help do anything but put you in ignore.
Fourth. Don't push your own standards onto others. If you have such standards find someone that meets them, don't adjust people as you want them to be. If you can't find smene to your standards then lower the standards or stay single.



Geekonychus
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22 Mar 2013, 10:27 am

Lilya wrote:
Take responsibility, change your manners and STOP presenting yourself as some sort of a hero or victim of your stories.
This^^^

How would you feel if she pulled this kind of thing with you?



1000Knives
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22 Mar 2013, 10:52 am

I think expecting a girl to be a training partner is a bit unrealistic. Imagine if I was like "Sup I only want a girl who wants to do powerlifting, skating, and increase their vertical jumping skills." In your case you might just be better off just talking to girls at your gym. As far as me personally, I've stated what I wanted on here. A girl who eats reasonably healthy, cooks most of her own food, and like, doesn't stay in the house all day. You might wanna lower your expectations.

I mean, if your criteria is really high on shared interests, then that's what it is. I don't blame you really if your criteria is based on that. I know for all my male friends, I don't have any without some interests shared. With AS, establishing the "emotional connection" is harder, so you gotta find something else to connect with. All my friendships are based off shared interests, or at least started from them. However, for girls, very few like bodybuilding/lifting/fitness, etc. And then when they do, they don't usually train very similarly.

As far as ragging on you for being a giant jerk. Well. I've done similar, though not too much with girls. AS makes you really blunt. The NT thing to say would be like "I just don't feel it blah blah blah" when you really just aren't attracted to her. We all gotta learn to keep more crap in our heads rather than letting it come out of our mouths.



Wolfheart
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22 Mar 2013, 10:53 am

Geekonychus wrote:
Lilya wrote:
Take responsibility, change your manners and STOP presenting yourself as some sort of a hero or victim of your stories.
This^^^

How would you feel if she pulled this kind of thing with you?


I think I do have a fair point though, if I'm going to put a fair amount of effort into personal fitness, I accept and expect the same. I'm not imposing my standards upon any but it's how I feel personally, I am very clear about those standards. Everyone has requirements and standards, there's no point in pretending that we don't in an attempt to make ourselves look deeper.



Stargazer43
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22 Mar 2013, 10:53 am

To be perfectly honest, your messages in that conversation seem really rude. As a guy with AS, I'd probably even have a similar reaction if someone said stuff like that to me (gender-corrected of course :P) It basically comes across as you saying "you aren't nearly as good as other women, so why should I waste my time with you?" In a way I understand what your point was, but I think that you said it in just about the worst way possible.



MXH
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22 Mar 2013, 10:57 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Lilya wrote:
Take responsibility, change your manners and STOP presenting yourself as some sort of a hero or victim of your stories.
This^^^

How would you feel if she pulled this kind of thing with you?


I think I do have a fair point though, if I'm going to put a fair amount of effort into personal fitness, I accept and expect the same. I'm not imposing my standards upon any but it's how I feel personally, I am very clear about those standards. Everyone has requirements and standards, there's no point in pretending that we don't in an attempt to make ourselves look deeper.


Then stop trying to get people to mold to your standards.