Need of Love, Very Low maintainance

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I am starting to feel that when it comes to living without someone special in my life, I probably do very well.

Everybody in the office has someone special, and for them they cannot know how bad it is to be without someone special and what it ends up doing to them. When they say I am not missing much by not being in a relationship, believing them is well enough as I am sure that relationships become boring after a while. But relationships do kill loneliness to a certain degree.

I have started to spot the neediness in others that I don’t seem to have. I got no Christmas present from anyone, this wouldn’t bother me in the slightest but It would for most. I didn’t buy my little sister anything; she didn’t appreciate it much at all. The way she saw it, she don’t mind if her mother, father or her sister, Jenny, didn’t get give her a present but see me as the only one really there for her, that what my mother said to me.

One day I went with one of my work collages to Sainsbury’s to buy some donuts to share in the office, she got a little bit disgruntled because she was the only one who would buy them donuts, nobody else would bother.

I seen things a little differently, I just buy donuts for the office to show appreciation of them, as I know how NTs are sometime and I don’t want them to think that secretly I hate or disrespect them in anyway; I would occasionally buy one of them a gift to show that.

Like a friend said to me one day, I never seem to ask or demand anything from people your just there. I just thought to myself, what could I want from her: if I wanted money, I have my own: if I wanted food, I can cook my own. I would only ask of her to be there sometime to talk to and me being the man would pay for the meals and coffee when we went out. I guess if I wanted my teeth done, I would ask her because she is a specialist in that department.

TO SUMMERISE: This is a long way of saying that I am low maintenance by nature; not very needy of others to show gesture of kindness to me, but when I do get some, I appreciate it very much.


I have not big issue needing sorting out beyond having Aspegers Syndrome and have no unhealthy attitude. All I want from a relationship is that she is the answer to my loneliness and if I am for her to, that is good ;I will also be happy to give her a few gift to show my appreciation for her.

This all sounds good to me -- you sound like my 20 year old son -- he is also very low maintenance.

Why can't ALL people be like this? The world would be a better place!

Kris

Hi. I know what you mean by not having the "neediness" that others have; on the other hand, your subject title says "Need of Love", so there is something you feel the need for; maybe not just what other people expect. Also, you say you want someone to "answer to" your loneliness, which may not seem like a lot to ask, but for some people, it IS a lot to ask, especially if you seem "confusing" to them.

I'm only saying this bc I went a long time thinking that I didn't want a spouse/close relationship, but I find that I actually DO want one; it just may not look the way other people's relationships look. For me, I had to really accept that I do want someone. I'm just posting this bc it may help you be honest with yourself about what you want/need. I hope it helps.

So what you are saying is that you don't "need" someone in the way that you are not dependant on others, but rather you would like to have the opportunity to express a part of yourself that could GIVE love to another.

Hi, Alicorn. I think you were addressing Aspie_Chav here (?), but I like what you said. Yes, for the most part I'd like to express part of myself and give to another AND I'd also like someone to understand me and love me back.

I know what you mean.
In this current society you are practicly forced to do these things.
Christmass and Sinterklaas presents.
Birthday presents.
I often need reminders to do these things because it isn't natural for me to do.

The same with calling on the phone after a long trip to tel that your alright.
I used to also have some difficulties with always having to greet people.

I guess we're just low maintenance people generally.