Someone basically asked me out on a date

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We've been acquainted for more than a year. I really just want to be regular friends with this person, but since I suck at love and dating I figure I could practice the rituals for when I find someone I really admire.

If someone asks you out on a date and you don't want to go to where they suggest, does it ruin the "asking out" ritual to suggest something different?

Also, if the person suggests going somewhere and doing something that indicates that they, after more than a year acquainted with you, cannot judge your basic but most important preferences (e.g. not liking loud places full of people where you spend a lot of money), is that a sign not to waste your time trying to get on with them in a way more than just as acquaintances?

Maybe. If the person is offended by other people expressing their preferences, then the answer is 'Yes'. If not, then 'No'.


Definitely. If they can not accommodate your preferences, then they are more concerned with imposing their will upon you than in showing you a good time.

You could just try going out with the person and having fun... whatever that is.

Yeah! Just go out and have a fun time and if you want to do it again after that then go for it. If not just say you had a good time but you don't think or feel for them that way.

STOP! STOP! STOP!

If you truly do not like the person, do not agree to go out with them. You will just be giving them cruel false hope.

Not only this, but if you're already friends with this person, and one or the other of you should develop stronger feelings when you 'Try' this.. trust me.. that hurts worse than a razor.

I 'tried' turning a friendship into more, and for 5 brief months it looked like it was going to work and work gloriously and then it all went to hell in a handbasket and now not only don't I have a girlfriend, but I lost one of my best friends in the entire world because of it. It's the worst pain that I've ever experienced.

What if I was more explicit and asked this person if they want to "practice dating" but not actually date?

There are some nice restaurants I want to go to because I want to try the food there, but they're the kind of places where pretty much only couples and close close friends or family go to together. It would be nice if someone could be a "pretend date" so we can try this food.

Ask to go to those restaurants as friends in that case. Then the message is clear and there's no pressure.

I really, really wish people would do this with me, but they won't. Nobody even wants to pretend to date me, I guess!

But, seriously, don't give anyone false hope. I think that pretend dating might not work since he tried to ask you out for real; it might hurt his feelings too much.