Does lack of interest in relationships equate to immaturity?

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cammyyy
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13 Dec 2012, 3:58 pm

Well, I'm a 19 year male in second year college. Pretty much everyone I know is all worked up about dating, or at least hooking up, with girls. I, on the other hand, fail to see why everyone is so interested in dating and sex. Can anyone explain to my why people want these things so badly? Also, does it make me "immature" for having almost zero interest in girls?



aspiesandra27
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13 Dec 2012, 4:02 pm

Not at all. You are you, and as long as you are comfortable with who you are...that's fundamental to your happiness. I'm sure the desire will kick in at some point. Even if it doesn't? So be it. :)



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13 Dec 2012, 9:00 pm

Same here but older. Relationships or indeed many things others take for granted I am not bothered in. I don't see that as immaturity despite occasionally behaving like a child - so Ive been told... 8O


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mfs1013
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13 Dec 2012, 11:36 pm

I'm somewhat immature myself, but that does not make me less interested in girls



BlueMax
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13 Dec 2012, 11:54 pm

There's different aspects of "maturity". I'm sure you're well ahead of them in terms of "making good decisions" where they're way ahead in "forming relationships" (not necessarily in maintaining them!)

So sorta' yes, sorta' no. Don't worry about it. They'll do doubt criticize you for not doing the same thing as the rest of the herd... just be you and do what you want to do - you'll likely be much happier for doing so!



MCalavera
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14 Dec 2012, 3:32 am

PerfectlyDarkTails wrote:
Same here but older. Relationships or indeed many things others take for granted I am not bothered in. I don't see that as immaturity despite occasionally behaving like a child - so Ive been told... 8O


LOL@sig. Don't you think "high functioning" is somewhat redundant when next to "Asperger's"?



blunnet
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14 Dec 2012, 4:38 am

I doubt all priests are immature.



Zodai
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14 Dec 2012, 5:04 am

I think what happens is that NTs try to get those romantic relationships at a young age because the older people do it - regardless if they've developed those emotional feelings yet or not, just to copy what the older people do.. This gives them an innate interest in it, so to speak.

My theory is that because Aspie children don't see the point of having a relationship just for the fact of copying older people - probably means they don't see the point later on as well.

Once one falls in love for the first time - then you start getting interested in them.

This is only from my own experience though.


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thewhitrbbit
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14 Dec 2012, 10:11 am

It depends.

Are you not interested because girls are icky and have cooties? Then you might be immature.

If your just not interested because you don't feel a need to have one, that's not immature.



Surfman
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14 Dec 2012, 11:30 am

Its a hormonal and/or mineral balance issue rather than a maturity issue.
But in a sense it pertains to maturity, as hormonally many aspies dont develop sex hormones like NT's.



cammyyy
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14 Dec 2012, 4:32 pm

Well, I used to be best friends with a girl, but of course had to go and develop feelings for her. Then I started avoiding her for years and still feel crappy about her..I presume that's why I'm uninterested in them.



ColdEyesWarmHeart
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14 Dec 2012, 4:37 pm

I don't think what you are doing is immature.

Immature is following the crowd 'just because', playing silly with a girl's feelings when you aren't really interested in her, drunken unprotected one-night-stands you regret the minute you wake up... that's immature behaviour! Doing your own thing and not hurting anyone else or feeling you need to fit in, that is adult.



hale_bopp
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14 Dec 2012, 7:27 pm

It just means you're young for your age, which imo is a good thing.



UnLoser
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14 Dec 2012, 10:58 pm

To be honest, I think it does indicate that a part of your brain is developmentally behind those of your peers. But it doesn't, in any way, make you immature. I feel that interest in relationships and sex is wholly irrelevant to intellectual and emotional maturity. It's relevant to sexual maturity, sure. But you weren't asking about sexual maturity.



Jaden
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16 Dec 2012, 3:29 am

No, I think the maturity you're talking about isn't about interest or lack thereof, it's about physical growth. I tend to think that people who go on and on about something as primal and basic and instinctual as sex are at least emotionally immature because they see it cavalierly and act the same. Sex isn't a big deal, it's over-rated (as it were), but it takes a mature mind to see it as just that and be smart about it (ie who they partner with, why they partner with, etc.).


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Merle
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16 Dec 2012, 3:57 pm

19?

Maybe, but generally the broad based answer is "no".

People go through different phases of their life, and at times, different priorities. Since everyone is different, the correct answer is "no", but if you're in an environment where there are multitudes of relationship opportunities, and you have no issues (e.g. no one died, you're not suffering from depression/anxiety, you're not in physical pain) then it's shifted to the 'maybe' category.

Get older, and the answer swings more and more towards the no.