This Valentine's Nightmare

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Looks like I survived another V-Day, but I've never had one like this.

Bitchy mood all day (something typical), but out of my moping and negativity, I did get a few treats from people and a hug, even had a woman who rubbed my head...

But when I got back into my solo room, and went on facebook, the constant stream of valentine's stuff got to me and I snapped twice.

Something with being jealous of affection and love gets me more pissed off than the normal human being and really grinds my gears to the point of violent thoughts...

This isn't healthy, and I'm trying to figure out this problem myself. Any insight as to what might be triggering these violent thoughts?

Back when I was getting really irritated and jealous of others, it was generally because of sexual frustration. Maybe you've gone too long without a bit of intimacy?

Seconded. I don't know which is worse, to have had prior intimacy and lose it for a long time, maybe forevermore or to have never experienced it to begin with.

Something that helps me is I don't go on Arsebook, haven't for over a year now. Still I had to endure the gauntlet of driving home past thousands of people holding a red rose and smiling. The only thing that got me through it without having a very public meltdown was the anticipation of coming home to a new reply that would acknowledge "happy Thursday" at least, but noooo.

I completely understand OP's annoyance, since I've somewhat followed their situation from a few months ago.

Maybe someone will get on board with me on something; I propose a day or a series of days where we get to shove something of ours down everyone else's throats. I'm already thinking something like around next Christmas time going EVERYWHERE dressed as a Christmas tree or something. Halloween doesn't really do it since it's become Bandwagoned to death. But shoot, even pedos and the klan get to march around and make their statements. Maybe the statement here could be "You'll get Quiet Hands when we get a Quiet Mouth"

I survived to that because i dont need love kisses and hugs, not anymore. If i needed that then i would have died long ago.

I used to feel the same way, and honestly did some stupid things because of sexual frustration. Then I realized that my sexual frustration itself is a symptom of loneliness.

Sexual frustration isn't and has never been an issue.. I know how to deal with that. What I am dealing with is frustration over loss of intamcy and affection. I miss cuddling something fierce.. it made me feel good to make her feel secure. I still mainly cry every night because I miss the "dead arm, awkward boner, and face full of hair"... but I've always ALWAYS preferred co-sleeping to being in bed alone. I've tried body pillows but they just don't work the same way cause theres no.. people noise.. no breathing or fidgeting or cold feet on your leg.

<--- Lonely as a dog, and lately, scourge of the neighbourhood.

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7055291392/hB65578A1/

Valentine's Day was sweet for me. I managed to do my 1rm overhead press 3x, when I used to be able to barely do it once. Not bad at all. So I'm happy that all the front squatting I've been doing lately has fixed things up for my overhead press by making my ab muscles stronger.

But no hot wimmenz this Valentine's. But at least I lifted heavier than before.

I took my elderly mudder to the doctor and home again, made sure she was okay, etc.
Then came home and had a confirmed computer sale - deal is done now.



All in all, not a terrible V-day... beats moping around at home!

Been talking to this girl who seemed to be rather interested in me for weeks now. We got along great & I had let her know I did like her a lot early on and she mentioned she was just out of a relationship and did not want to jump into another so quickly. I respect that (this was like a month and a half ago) and every time we met she would keep telling me things about herself that I don't think people tell each other in normal conversations (family history,dreams,etc).

come valentines.. i knew she didnt want anything yet but then again, its valentines and I should at least say something. So I did. non-romantic or such , just let her know i thought of her that day .. by txt.

pow.

reply comes back she's not interested at all. just hang out friend, the works.



guess this hyped commercialized holiday does at least serves like a nicotine patch. 10 steps down to quitting.

Music is my valentine

but seriously, yesterday was half-half for me, going to school by riding public transit w/ crackheads, in a music recording class w/ all guys (but was productive), and spent the night escaping the misery by going to a club and connecting with other people in the EDM buisness (still didn't hook up with any girls)

I actually had plans to spend valentine's with someone but my car dies a day before and can't be fixed til Monday . Wouldn't be so bad but we haven't gotten together in over a month.

How Forever Alone celebrates V day