Dealing with the social awkwardness of dating??

Post Reply New Topic

So I am a 21 and I have issues with dealing with the concept of dating, flirting and being "normal" with women. As a child i was diagnosed with Aspergers, majority of my life i was a very shy and introverted person. I didnt really start to break out of this trait until i was 15 and to this day i still find myself try to play catch up to with everyone else. I don't believe i have a problem interacting with people as i once did, people are always telling how funny and intelligent I am, however i can't seem to understand how to interact with women i'm interested in. I mean being friendly and joking around sure I can do that well but when it comes to trying to hold actual conversations and getting to know them and flirting and trying to assimilate the same social norms and mainstream society i find that a bit challenging. I am hoping there's somebody here who knows what this is like and can help me to deal with this issue that has plauged me for some time now...

I'm afraid I can't help, but I am quite similar to you. I can flirt with girls, I'm smart and funny, but I have no idea if they are interested, so it quite often means I end up in love with a friend. I think the trick must be to be on the brash side - you might get shot down, but at least you'll know. Also, I believe a fair amount of the first impression rests on looks. Don't defend yourself women, it's true - just as men judge women on their looks.

An extremely brief guide to flirting:
Be smiley, but not over-the-top psycho stuff
Be funny, but not at her expense
Seem smart but not massively smart and up yourself
Eye contact and physical contact (hand on hand, hand on arm) are winners
Mirror her behaviours (partly mimic her pose and stance)
Tilt your head to the side, revealing the left (more emotional) side of your face
If she recoils a little, don't push it
No openly sexual remarks

I might not be very helpful.. But from a women's view I would just be yourself around women.. I wouldn't like someone to be perfectly normal with me, where is the fun in that? But that's my opinion.
In terms of getting to know someone and flirting with them then why not be yourself? I don't see the point in making a huge effort about it.. It's hard I understand that but I know a male with Asperger's he just acts himself and doesn't change that!
I don't sound helpful at all actually Hm sorry! In the end if the women wants to carry on talking to you, she should help with the conversation when you are getting to know each other, I would

P.S - Sorry.. Pretty bad advice there!