Clingy vs. Needy

Post Reply New Topic

Been thinking about this lately. What's your take?
In regards to relationships: Please define both.

Clingy: My take is that a clingy girl just likes to talk or be around her man. TBH, I really don't see a problem with that; I don't understand why girls are condemned for liking their man or vice-versa. I actually like clingy girls myself, but then again, I actually like to have conversations and talk things out with my GF; that's just me though. I'm also the type of guy who likes to show massive amounts of affection, when appropriate. Distant girls just feel like that, very distant...its hard to have conversations with these girls to me, or at least long deep meaningful one's and I feel like there's some type of block between us. IDK, just my take.

Needy: A needy girl, IMO, is the type of girl who feels possibly inadequate about herself and constantly needs you to reenforce her worth with your attention or emotional support. Again, I love to show affection and make my GF feel good about herself, so I don't have that much of a problem with this up to a point. I like to help her realize how much she's worth... These are the girls though that are most likely to say things like "I'm going to kill myself if you don't talk to me" type thing; that's an extreme example though. I would cut it off before it go to that point, because that's not fair to her or me. Also, These are the girls that create drama just for a reaction too sometimes and that's not cool.

Notice the difference, One just loves to be with her BF or talk to him or what not (clingy) and the other feels inadequate, so she needs her BF to prove to her her worth (needy). Sometimes though, these go hand in hand. For example, a needy girl is clingly because she thinks she needs you to make her feel good about herself. BUT, not ALL clingy girls are necessarily needy. What can happen though is a clingy girl can become dependent on that affection and turn that into a need.

This is just my take though. It's probably different for other guys.

Yeah, No one is a perfect being; I don't know why everyone tries to be the "perfect" BF/GF so much (what is that anyway???). This is only MY take, Please don't apply what I say to all men.

Everybody needs and clings at some point. Not a big deal, unless either, becomes obsessive.

Someone might go through a needy phase due to a bad experience int heir lives (lost someone etc) and then go back to being more independent.

I'm one of those people that can't communicate using tone of voice or facial expressions. So a lot of normal romantic communication of the nonverbal type I can't do. However, I found that lots of hugs and cuddles make a good substitute. Really, it depends on the particular woman. Some woman really need the nonverbal communication, but really aren't in the physical contact. However, if they are physically affectionate, I'm usually fine. If I get paired up with a woman who is a good verbal communicator and physically affectionate, then we can have a great time. I wouldn't call myself "clingy," rather I consider myself physically affectionate.

I noticed that your profile says you're neurotypical, while your username indicates you're in a relationship with an aspie. If he seems to be holding you captive a lot, he might be like me.

Does that make sense?

Neurotypical people use facial expressions and tone of voice as extra communication channels. Those things are very often used as what are called "nonverbal cues." Those nonverbal cues do all sorts of things. They can send a message saying "I'm in the mood" or "I'm definitely not in the mood." Sometimes, that communication modifies what is verbally said or even outright contradicts it. They also seem to carry a lot of what people call "chemistry." So, I would say most "nonverbal romantic communication" are romantic messages and cues carried via facial expressions and tone of voice.

Of course, individuals vary, so all my relationships have varied also. Why can't send messages that we would call cues by cuddling a girlfriend, it seems to satisfy the relationship need for some sort of expression of affection. An expression is bilateral. To tell the truth, I think a lot can be communicated at a very fundamental level by cuddling on the couch.

Thank you ILovemyAspie.