I'm lacking confidence to understand it

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RightSide
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11 Jan 2013, 5:12 pm

So, a week ago I started to talk with a girl, after New Year's Eve. We already knew each other but we didn't talk that mutch. But, in the New Year's Eve, she sleeped right next to me on the cough and lean on me. After that, we practically talked every day and about some personal stuff (included my Asperger Syndrome). She has a lot of troubles with her mother at home (her father died) and she fells lonely all the time. She confessed the need for a boyfriend that can give her support.
Well, one day, out of nothing, she asked if she could meet my dog. I figured out that she was suggesting for us to meet each other. Altough she never said it, I always thought she was talking about us having a date. In the next few days, we continued to talk, but I always felt she was a bit cold on the answers she gave to me when we talked. Today, she told me that was supposed to go to a bar with a male friend and some of his friends. I felt kind of jealous because I started to think that our date tomorrow isn't really a date. Maybe she just want to hang out for a bit. This is driving me crazy, because I really like her. I want to know your opinion on this.



Harry8142
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11 Jan 2013, 5:21 pm

So she's coming over to meet your dog? It seems like a date to me.
How do you feel about this girl? Would you consider asking her out? Maybe at the end of the date tomorrow you should ask her if she'd like to meet again sometime? I suppose it depends how well the date goes.



Last edited by Harry8142 on 11 Jan 2013, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Geekonychus
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11 Jan 2013, 5:23 pm

Sounds like you're getting mixed signals. Usually this means she sorta likes you but hasn't quite madeup her mind yet.



RightSide
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11 Jan 2013, 5:47 pm

Harry8142 wrote:
So she's coming over to meet your dog? It seems like a date to me.
How do you feel about this girl? Would you consider asking her out? Maybe at the end of the date tomorrow you should ask her if she'd like to meet again sometime? I suppose it depends how well the date goes.


Well, she is the second girl, besides my best female friend, that I could talk about autism and asperger's syndrome. So, I think I'm starting to have feelings for her. Yes, I would considerer that. But I am affraid that she just want to be my friend. After all, she doesn't have many friends - just like me. The problem is that I don't want to be her friend. I probably want more than that.



Geekonychus
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11 Jan 2013, 5:53 pm

The best advice I can give you is to just let things happen. Don't come on too strong because the moment you start pushing for something is the moment you start pushing her away. Be open and if there is something there the rest should come naturally.

Easier said then done, I know! :wink:



termometrs
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11 Jan 2013, 6:32 pm

As you mentioned she had said that she is looking for boyfriend. She probably likes you and she has made hints of that, but she doesn't want to be pushy or make the first step. After all girls like when their attention is won instead of them being the ones who got guy into relationship.They need to feel wanted.

And now it's quite possible that she being the person who longs for relationship, for warmth it gives, is also unsure of your interest. And maybe there are actually around other guys who are also nice and maybe can even make a move.

Don't misunderstand, I'm definitely not saying that she is just looking for anyone to date, she still looks for someone special. But if there are many special people around then why should she wait for someone who maybe doesn't even want a relationship.

So my suggestion is to try and actually invite her to the date.
After all there are 2 possibilities:
1) All my speculations are true, she likes you and your relationship proceeds
2) She's not interested after all, just really friendly. But would it really be bad if this would be the end of your communication? After all would you be able to communicate with her freely when she gets in relationship with someone else? Or would you be able to get her out of your head when you meet another great girl, but still have friendship with this one?

So this was my opinion, but it's worth mentioning that I'm definitely also mostly not good with understanding human relationship. So treat these more like ideas than actual suggestions.

And best of luck to you!