Regrets about guys/girls you hav known

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I bet some other people here have known guys or girls that they regret not trying harder to go out with/become romantically and/or sexually involved with. It seems that with our reluctance to take social initiative it's easy to let a golden opportunity pass by and only realize later that we could have done a lot better. I'll start out by telling a story of mine, and others are welcome to add (and complain a little if they want).

There were these two hot, popular girls at my high school who hung out with each other, and I think one really liked me at least at one point. I actually liked the other one of the two better than her (although both were much hotter than the ones I've met in college!), but even the one I liked more seemed to get to like me as I started talking to her. Unfortunately, though I talked to her quite a bit, and saw both of them all the time, I never really pushed to get anything going with either of them. I think part of it was my getting ill, which took my mind off girls for a little while, and partly I think I just didn't take enough initiative.

Since then I have realized what a great opportunity I missed. These were two of the hottest girls in the school who actually seriously seemed interested in me, and didn't seem repelled by my shyness toward them. Also, in high school getting to know people was easier (there were only 400 students in the whole school) and everyone was still in a lot of the same classes. This meant that girls of all types were able to see me in class (where I presumably appear most capable and at home) as opposed to just in random social situations where I might seem awkward.

Now the only girls that are in class with me are in the sciences, and these are not the kind I'm looking for, plus the classes are larger and less conducive to meeting. I have thought sometimes about taking an easy class in some area way out of my major just in hope of meeting some female students, but in large college classes it might well not be worth the effort. It seems that in any case I won't have nearly the opportunity I had in high school to meet girls like that . I have thought to myself that maybe had I got somewhere with some of the girls at my high school, then I might have overcome some mental "barriers" and gained some experience, making it easier for me to seek out similar people at college now.

I would list my long list of failures some with really great girls but It would only depress me so I shall just let you know you certinaly are not alone

Too many to count. I've screwed up many times. Though, for most of them I doubt it would have made a difference in the end. Just less shame.

My list is full of women I've tried too hard with and women I've tried too little with

I always try too hard, so that's my problem.

I have no regrets.

I am actually thankful that i haven't tried very hard with people that i liked as i have a tendency to fall for creeps, sigh.

As soon as someone gives me a little attention i seem to fall head over heels for them, if only i could distinguish good attention from bad.

My regrets are not asking girls out when I should have. In high school, there were two or three girls who seemed to like me, but since I was bullied left and right, I mistook their friendliness as a practical joke to humiliate me. Looking back, I should have given myself the benefit of doubt and asked them to join me for coffee after school.

I dont, I'm entering cool loner phase

I think that I've tried too little or too hard-depending on the person.



-SpaceCase

You want regret? Try this:

I had a years-long crush on a girl I grew up with. I did my best to try to get to know her and eventually became friends with her before I went off to the university. But I had never let on in any way that I was interested in her as anything more than friends and, well, you guys know the difficulties involved in navigating these things. Over the time I had taken to get to know her, I only received more and more confirmation that she did possess all of the wonderful characteristics that I thought she did. Intelligent, kind, easygoing, loyal, understanding, etc. After four years of torment, of looking forward to opportunities when I would be around her, of driving myself crazy over how I was ever going to make it happen, I finally fired off a letter asking if she would meet me somewhere so I could tell her something that I had been keeping from her. And so we met and when I confessed to her, she explained that she was actually about to become engaged to the guy she was dating. After a pause, she said, "I wish you had told me sooner."

Oh my god.

"I wish you had told me sooner."

Oh my god.

I mean, this would be so much easier if I could tell myself that it wouldn't have worked out anyway and I'm better off. But that's BS. She really is a wonderful human being and is one of the few humans I've met that I could spend time around and be completely at ease with.

"I wish you had told me sooner."

haha jesus christ! I laugh but only because that's bloody horrible

the only thing I do regret is giving up on those girls who I know I had a chance with. But that was before my first relationship, and it was because of that first relationship that I didn't give up. well, sorta, but at the same time, kept an eye on the guy who she was dating, who was bad news, tried to tell her, tried to tell her friends, thankfully she finally dumped him.

but. there have been times in my past, girls in my past, who I've messed it up so much that it was a wasted opportunity. The one girl who saved my life this past winter, I was so afraid of because she was uber smart, that I just wanted to be friends with, also I wanted to shag her, but that's beside the point. I think she knew I liked her, but I couldn't make a move, I was chicken. But, I'm thinking now that I should of, maybe it might of turned out differently, maychance not, but what worth is it not taking a risk? A lot. I've learned that a lot, girls who I've liked. one my senior year, she knew, everyone knew, her mom, and her mom liked me a lot, actually asked her mom, my sophmore year(her freshman year) to take her daughter to formal, and I was givn permission, however as luck turned out, the girl who is a great part of my life today I ended up taking.

This time around, I'm not gonna waste an opportunity, but at the same time I'm gonna play it safe, like I should of done this past semester, I might of been better off, without having dated a girl who wasn't good for me, who never had feelings for me, if I had seen that before hand, things would of been easier, of course her having A.S as well.......well that's aside the point.

I've been reliving a lot of painful memories lately, and that's definitely one of the worst: the one that got away. There was this girl in high school, and I thought she was the most perfect girl in the world. She was the school's star singer, she was beautiful, and she even invited me to her church's Wednesday school. She had the trifecta of beauty: body, mind, and spirit. Which made me feel all the more inferior, since I thought I was nothing more than a fat kid who watched too much TV. I went to her church a few times, then I stopped. Maybe I thought that if I ran away, she'd try to look for me. I guess it's not that easy.

The more I think about it - no. I've had some very attractive women into me at times but it always happened that either our personalities didn't meet, in other cases they got a crush on me and I felt no room to be my true self. In essence I can sit and think how I could have done things differently and play the 20/20 hindsight game but I realize at those times that either my social skills were still subpar or even if those weren't I still had my nervous system locking my ability to use my social skills properly to less than 50%, in that sense I really think that even if I had pulled off something miraculous it just means I would have gotten on a date, been excruciatingly uncomfortable, and it would have just blown up with me leading them on rather than just letting em have their thoughts or playing 'hard to get' all the way through to completion. Even today I'm still passing girls up left and right and its that same thing - even now that I can manifest my social skills better and even now that the interest I'm getting is getting closer to being in terms I want (ie. grounded and stablized) I still have the problem of having a very dicey sense of physical attraction and with the girls who I am physically attracted to, like everyone else around me, they're NTs - thats not a problem aside from the fact that they have a lot of steel in the social sense and it intimidates me just because I feel like I'm so far behind em in that sense that even if its not an issue it would make our social habits and things we want to do in general diverge on courses which are different enough to make a relationship not last much longer than a week anyway.

So for right now no regrets, I know who I am and that I still need a lot more out of myself to even feel safe or secure in a relationship. Downside is, even if I'm willing to just about beat myself bloody in the name of progressing my social skills, maturity, or personality in general my nervous system and brain chemistry never give me what I want right then and there, it only happens on its own about 4 or 5 years after I went all out for it and realized that any day I gained it I'd go to slee, wake up the next day, and be back at square one. Being embattled with that sense of genetic immaturity also seals the deal - it puts me in a place where even seeking a relationship or trying is so much exertion that even if I did get a girl who wanted to go steady I'd almost dread seeing her just because it would tip me on empty all the time and have my stress levels through the roof. As for finding someone who's understanding I really don't believe thats an option, even if they're out there I can still just as easily feel really uncomfortable and out of place with them if it comes to them giggling at my social akwardness and bonding with me from that sort of angle.