Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

I am not feeling it; no I am not.

Page 1 of 4 [ 64 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,096
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

03 Jan 2013, 6:16 pm

After almost 5 dates and a month of texting; she's expecting me to start have ....'Feelings' (euugh! yuck! what? Feelings?!)

What creeped me most was the text she sent me after the new year's eve literally saying "Have a great year, You made me live the greatest end of the Year. You were my Christmas Gift".

I thanked her politely but deep inside me this sounded too nauseating!! ! Me? A Christmas gift?

And every time she asks me whether I started having any feelings; I say no, last time my response was "I care but no feelings yet".

Why I am making this thread? Because it's happening again for the 3rd time; few dates, few hang outs, girl declares her 'feelings' (or love) - me in return, feels nothing.

I am very very slow at developing such 'feelings', my last huge crash lasted one year on a girl I knew for almost 2 years earlier! So it took me that much time (2 years) to start having any 'feelings' toward her.

Anyone knows a recipe of some elixir for developing feelings....faster?



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

03 Jan 2013, 7:02 pm

Sex is one. Works for some.



conundrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns

03 Jan 2013, 7:05 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Anyone knows a recipe of some elixir for developing feelings....faster?


Sorry--no.

IMO, you should tell her exactly what you posted here--that it takes a while for you to really start to feel anything for another person, for whatever the reasons are. If she really cares about you, she will respect that and stick around.

Just to clarify: I am female, and that is exactly how I would respond if someone I had been dating told me that.


_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17


MountainLaurel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,030
Location: New England

03 Jan 2013, 7:29 pm

Quote:
Anyone knows a recipe of some elixir for developing feelings....faster?

Faster? No.

But it does suggest to me that online dating may not be the ideal medium for your search. Sounds as if you're the kind of guy who will fall for a woman in your workplace, gym, place of worship, neighborhood; something like that.

You might consider re-allocating your time resources. Spend less time online (oh, no, I don't mean here). Spend less time at online dating and more time hanging out in face to face situations.



BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

03 Jan 2013, 7:57 pm

Have you EVER felt "it"? If never, it just might not be something you're even capable of... or you just haven't met the person who makes your heart flutter. ;)



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

03 Jan 2013, 8:01 pm

If you don't feel it, you should be honest with the woman. It's a lot better that way.

Perhaps you'd just prefer NSA for a while? You could probably do with it.

C'mon, man - if you're around enough single women, you need to step up and start to flirt a little. Show the women that you're desire them - women like that (but don't show her your fishing tackle unless you want to be in the nick). It's not like women are hidden away where you are, so hop to it.



MCalavera
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,442

03 Jan 2013, 8:24 pm

I don't see why it is a problem. On the contrary. Use it to your advantage.



wtfid2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,712
Location: usa

03 Jan 2013, 8:43 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
After almost 5 dates and a month of texting; she's expecting me to start have ....'Feelings' (euugh! yuck! what? Feelings?!)

What creeped me most was the text she sent me after the new year's eve literally saying "Have a great year, You made me live the greatest end of the Year. You were my Christmas Gift".

I thanked her politely but deep inside me this sounded too nauseating!! ! Me? A Christmas gift?

And every time she asks me whether I started having any feelings; I say no, last time my response was "I care but no feelings yet".

Why I am making this thread? Because it's happening again for the 3rd time; few dates, few hang outs, girl declares her 'feelings' (or love) - me in return, feels nothing.

I am very very slow at developing such 'feelings', my last huge crash lasted one year on a girl I knew for almost 2 years earlier! So it took me that much time (2 years) to start having any 'feelings' toward her.

Anyone knows a recipe of some elixir for developing feelings....faster?
27 seconds/thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJsJSXI0ZqY


_________________
AQ 25

Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


Tyri0n
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)

03 Jan 2013, 9:26 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
After almost 5 dates and a month of texting; she's expecting me to start have ....'Feelings' (euugh! yuck! what? Feelings?!)

What creeped me most was the text she sent me after the new year's eve literally saying "Have a great year, You made me live the greatest end of the Year. You were my Christmas Gift".

I thanked her politely but deep inside me this sounded too nauseating!! ! Me? A Christmas gift?

And every time she asks me whether I started having any feelings; I say no, last time my response was "I care but no feelings yet".

Why I am making this thread? Because it's happening again for the 3rd time; few dates, few hang outs, girl declares her 'feelings' (or love) - me in return, feels nothing.

I am very very slow at developing such 'feelings', my last huge crash lasted one year on a girl I knew for almost 2 years earlier! So it took me that much time (2 years) to start having any 'feelings' toward her.

Anyone knows a recipe of some elixir for developing feelings....faster?


Tell her you need time. I dunno. I have the same problem.

Quote:
Have you EVER felt "it"? If never, it just might not be something you're even capable of..


This too. But there are women who are like this too. So work on finding them.



JNathanK
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,177

03 Jan 2013, 9:37 pm

I'd b totally turned on if a girl told me I was her Christmas gift, and it would naturally lead to hours and hours of passionate love making. That's just me though. I don't really know what to suggest for ya. sorry. If you feel guilty about not being able to return these affections, don't. It would probably be best just to cut ties with her so she could find someone else to satiate her burning lust for intimacy. How close do you live to Arizona? Maybe you could introduce me to her? lol



curlyfry
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,502
Location: Latitude : 45.373. Longitude : -84.955

03 Jan 2013, 10:34 pm

Do you find her interesting?



mfs1013
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 324
Location: New Jersey

03 Jan 2013, 10:36 pm

seriously, is she not that appealing to you? you should be damn lucky that she's showing you so much love!!


_________________
Just have to have patience, it will come when you least expect it to

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/mfs1013

http://soundcloud.com/DJMFS
http://mixcloud.com/DJMFS


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,096
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

04 Jan 2013, 4:35 am

conundrum wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Anyone knows a recipe of some elixir for developing feelings....faster?


Sorry--no.

IMO, you should tell her exactly what you posted here--that it takes a while for you to really start to feel anything for another person, for whatever the reasons are. If she really cares about you, she will respect that and stick around.

Just to clarify: I am female, and that is exactly how I would respond if someone I had been dating told me that.



I've told her that before this thread.



Stalk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,138

04 Jan 2013, 6:30 am

do you touch, hug each other? is there any kind of physical contact between the 2 of you? Do you find her attractive at all?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,096
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

04 Jan 2013, 7:04 am

Stalk wrote:
do you touch, hug each other?


Yes to all this, even more.

Quote:
Do you find her attractive at all?



Yes, like many other girls - nothing particularly special.



Shau
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2009
Age: 164
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,270

04 Jan 2013, 7:10 am

Boo, you should try shagging the fark out of one of those girls. Give her a proper root, aye? Sex has a way of causing a supernova of emotions to erupt in even males.