My experiences with girls

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Hey all

I really find it hard that most girls will not understand the way I am. I had known this girl for a few years (we used to see each other on the train a lot) and she finally agreed to hang out with me. We went for a long walk through Maitland, and visited a few of her favourite places, and eventually we actually kissed. We ended up going on a second date which went really well, a long walk on the riverside, karaoke and dinner at the pub. The third time we hung out, she said to me that I need to chill out, since I get pretty awkward around girls, she said that she wanted to "tone it down a bit" and I stormed out, and I was really hurt. She followed me out crying and said to me that she wasn't breaking up with me and kissed me after that. We did go for a walk, but I was hurt after the comment she made. A day later, she cowardly broke it off with me via Facebook saying I was too clingy, and two days later, she accused me of being a pervert (she claimed that someone told her I followed her to the toilet on the second date, which I never did) and blocked me off FB.

A fortnight later she was on the train, and I couldn't bring myself to talk to her because I was shaking with anger, she then approached me asking why I was like that and she thought we were friends. I said Why did you delete me off FB? She told me she'd readd me. We did talk for a little bit before she got off at her stop. I never heard a peep from her since, and she hasn't readded me on FB.

That experience plus an experience I had with an American woman who used me to get back at her husband, may have just about put me off women. I just don't know the right way to act, because I do screw up at times and I feel nobody understands me for who I am. I really try to be gentlemanly, and I don't mean to make them feel like I am smothering them, but I really do need help in that regard.

You should've told her about your aspergers

Just forget about it. That's the best advice I can give. Heads you lose, tails, you also lose.

Avoid the friendship trap. Its a waste of time. Girls want to "stay friends" because they do not want to hurt your feelings. I havent got a clue why they think that it would be better to stay in thouch with someone who rejected you. If a girl want to be friends with me, i tell her to get stuffed.

It's hard to stay friends with the opposite sex after romantic feelings get involved. Your ex or whatever she is should know this. However, her ego wants to be liked despite the fact that she knows she hurt your feelings. Now she is offering you excuses despite the fact that she really doesn't care for anyone but herself. Just walk away. It isn't worth your time and energy. You'll be much happier and more energetic when you find yourself thinking less of this.

what happened on the third date that led to her saying that you need to chill out? i feel like there is a chunk missing out of the story.

Cause just like the Lifetime channel.. the Man always did it.

no, maybe she overreacted to something ridiculously small. or maybe she felt like things were moving too fast, in which case his reaction was out of proportion. but we can't know because there seems to be something missing.

She sounds terribly immature. Age might be a big clue. Or if she is bi-polar? I mean, there could be so many reasons. But I agree with Hyper, in the sense that it feels there is something missing.

You most likely came on too strong. It's happened to me plenty of times.

Maybe I did come on too strong, but I do admit that I really find it hard in relationships and I am not good at picking up on hints. I did mention to her that I am an Aspie, but I kind of don't think she had an understanding what it is. She thought I was like any other bloke initially. On the third date, I think I did come on too strong, by spending the day with her, and also on the second date when I bought her roses when we met up. I thought I was being sweet, but I never meant to make her feel like I was a creep.

oh ok, thanks for clarifying. i have been in the same situation myself, where i have worn my heart on my sleeve, so to speak. and yes, it scared away my early boyfriends. i learnt to slow down a little in future, but i also managed to find people who matched my intensity better as those people were harder to scare away.

when this happened to me, it took me MONTHS to get over the guy. i was obsessed. i called him often, i wrote bad poetry. i cried a lot, etc. it was a very dark and very embarrassing time for me. what helped was eventually dating someone else, but it took time to heal enough to be in a proper relationship. i think i was still maturing in an emotional sense, and i had to do some internal changes first.

anyways, i hope you can move on from this and hope that it's more of a learning experience than a reason to give up on relationships entirely.