The brag thread

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So people stop pissing on threads that have potential to be good, then they get locked.

Brag here.

I'M SO f*****g SMART

I HAVE A BACHELOR OF SCIENCE AND AM WORKING ON A MASTERS

THAT'S RIGHT, MY DEGREE IS HARDER THAN YOUR DEGREE, NOTHING COMPARES TO SCIENCE

BUSINESS? LOL!! ! EZ MODE. PSYCHOLOGY ISN'T SCIENCE I'M SORRY, NEITHER IS SOCIOLOGY. TRY A REAL SCIENCE BRO!!

hurrhurrhurr I'VE GOT A LAW DEGREE, I CAN MEMORIZE A BUNCH OF s**t I'M SO HARDCORE YEA RIGHT KID.

DO YOU EVEN LIFT? NOT ONLY CAN I RUN 5 MILES WITHOUT STOPPING, I CAN BENCH 100% OF MY BODYWEIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT SCRUB ME > YOU

CREATIVE SKILLS? I WRITE POETRY b***h, AND SHORT STORIES. LOGIC + CREATIVITY = I'M BETTER THAN YOU, HAHAAHAHA NOOB

Ok I'm done.

Lots of women stare at me. They don't say whether it's a positive or negative stare, though.

I talk the least but I am the most talked about.

A most gorgeous young thing looked at me longingly today, whilst we sat under the shade of a large tree right on the beach
She was around 20yrs old and her uncle looked like one of the Cray brothers

At a beach just around the corner I once had sex [about 25yrs ago] on the beach during the day.
I shine at the beach

I am Awesome!

My husband is a great man. He gets turned on by my meltdowns and my childish behavior. He doesn't mind having two children. He still treats me like an adult instead of acting like I am ret*d. He is also very supportive and understanding. He doesn't get embarrassed by me at all. He also doesn't complain about me either.

We were once caught having sex by my father. I am sure he will remember from now on to knock before coming in. That was the only time I have ever been caught having it.

My husband gets jealous when men hit on me and I don't even know it. But he doesn't let it bother him and he knows I won't cheat on him. He isn't even worried about it accidentally happening.

I was almost trampled by a horde of my adoring fangirls again yesterday. I don't know how they find me!

I'm a paramedic, and get to do some really cool stuff. I am absolutely useless anywhere else, and have a meltdown if the toilet backs up, but get me on a scene and I am Captain Kirk. I've delivered 3 babies one premature on a dirt floor in the back woods of southern Kentucky, held a person's intestines in with my hand, done CPR and actually brought 2 people back from the dead. I don't have many things I'm good at, but the one I have is awesome!

I am very observant and some people think I am a sort of psychic. Plus I have fairly good seduction skills. Also, I am a very good liar! I don't like to, except to get out of trouble mainly!

i'm much better than anyone else
i'm the coolest

I'm pretty good at being useless.

<-----size 13 shoe
2 inch cawk
0.o

My dick is big enough to fit in two vaginas

I am in the 100% percentile in intelligence

People think I'm doing pushups, but I'm really bench pressing the whole earth

I've got grapefruit