Honesty really is the best no matter what- I have proof

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Well hello, the following events really caught me off guard, but they show that honesty is in fact ALWAYS best. If you don't believe me, keep reading. So I joined a dating site about 3 weeks ago (I am not ashamed of this). I met someone that I liked, but this person lived far away and was only able to visit for one weekend in the forseeable future. I refuse to do long distance so we both agreed to just have a romantic weekend of 'fooling around' without starting a relationship. Then later on (before the first persons visit) I met another person online who was more compatible and much more within reach. I ended up really liking the second person, but what was I gonna do about the planned weekend 'fling' with the other person? So I took a risk and came clean about the first person and my plans to the second person. Then I said that if they wanted to start something meaningful, then I would cancel the fling with the first person in favour of the second person. When the second heard about my plans with the first, they were not very to hear about it, but they were happy that I was honest and came clean instead of having the fling and then dating them without telling them. The second person was even still willing to try dating me, because I came clean instead of having a fling and never telling them. Well that's my story. I just thought I would share in the hope of encouraging all of you to be honest no matter what.

I'm not sure how that proves that honesty is ALWAYS best, but nice story. I'm curious - did you not feel compelled to just cancel the fling, rather than talk to person 2 about it? You liked person 2 and they were closer geographically, why did you feel you still wanted to have a fling with person 1? Just cancelling with person 1 would have made it all a lot easier I would have thought.

You are correct, honesty is always best. Liars and cheats always end up taking the heat in the end, it's just a question of when. Sure, some of them can pull of a good scam for a while, but... To what end?

Besides, it's so much less trouble to be truthful. No fibs to remember, just genuine reality.

If only more people thought like you

I agree whole heatedly just remember that the words you use can be just as important as what you say.
I.E. does this make me look fat? YES or would you rather hear that is not your color or style. A slip of words
can cut like a knife and a lot of use are prone to giving the "whole" truth when just the truth is needed.

I totally agree that honesty is the best policy in EVERY situation...

in the LONG run, it always is the best.... some people lie to keep them in the comfort zone short term etc, but lies ALWAYS follow them around and they always come out in the end in one form or another...

No one truly every "gets away" with anything..... even if the person dosen't know WHY, in the end, tings will somehow not work out for them....


I guess I believe in Karma???

It's definitely not the best policy all the time. There are things that you pretty much have to lie about to get ahead.

Hate to say it but you are correct. My honesty can gotten me in trouble more than once. Case in point: two years ago when I was living with my parents I admitted this to my insurance company. They proceeded to jack up my car insurance rates 50% and tell me that if my parents didn't provide their licenses to the company, I would be immediately dropped and my file would be "passed on for investigation" (codeword for sent to the fraud department). Good luck getting insurance after that in Canada! Imagine that, I was treated like a criminal because I actually told the honest truth and followed the rules. If I didn't this would have not been an issue at all because I'm a model client.

When I was single and a virgin at 29, if I admitted that in my profile I can GUARANTEE you my profile would have gone from almost no hits to none. I didn't directly lie, but I definitely knew I had to word it in such a way that I knew it would be a shock to my GF once I dropped the bomb. She admitted if I said that in my profile she would wonder why and not contact me because I'm too "tall, dark and handsome" for girls to not want me all the time.

Honesty got me in some hot water yesterday, so I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite. I told one of my bosses I couldn't come to work because my car broke down and I was trying to get it fixed, and that if I called off just yesterday, then I could get it fixed and not have to call off anymore (this is my second time in a year of calling off for ANY reason). He gets mad and tells me that I better tell management I was sick, so I did. But what was I supposed to do? I don't have any way of getting to work at all because I live so far from where my job is, and there's no bus line that runs from here to there. Transferring sadly isn't an option either.

Yeah if a guy's a virgin past 18, then there is something wrong with him according to like 99% of people. It's best to not mention that you're a virgin at any point, really, unless you absolutely have to.

Even if it leads to you ending up in intensive care, for instance, or losing a job for no good reason?

Nothing is ever literally the best policy all the time. To think so is not only naïve but will lead you to trouble.

That isn't to say that honesty, mixed with polite lies when appropriate, isn't a good idea in general.

Sometimes it's best just not to say anything.

Usually a safer bet than a lie...

This is going to make my search for a gf really difficult for me, even with some of the things that were mentioned in the other thread i started

And that's another proof that honesty...is not always the best policy - go figure.

Somebody should tell this to all those sociopathic, compulsive-liar, PUA "womanizer" type guys.

Now don't say at I said to lie not the same as using different words to convey the same message!!

Oops, I feel I have created some confusion. I meant to say honesty is always best in relationships. I make no claims regarding the rest of life

uh, no. trust me, honest is not your friends. I have pissed off women before because I was too honest with them.
(don't ever tell a 30 year old woman she looks mid 40's, boy oh boy, that don't go over good)