This may be strange, but...

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Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,003
Location: The Pacific Northwest

29 Dec 2006, 12:13 am

When I dated my first *real* girlfriend, I developed a phobia of trying to "initiate" anything. She was a devout Christian and thought everything I tried to do would "lead to sex." I told her multiple times that I knew it was against her religion, and that I would never do that.

Because of that, I've developed a strange phobia where I'm afraid to try to kiss a girl, or hold her around her waist in fear that she'll get angry at me. It's been 2 years since I've dated her, and I want to not be afraid of that anymore.

Any suggestions?

dimensionaltraveler
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 29 Nov 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 197
Location: Moonbase Alpha

29 Dec 2006, 1:38 am

Cyanide wrote:

Ask permission to kiss her. Either she will say "Yes" or "No"

logitechdog
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Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Age: 40
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Posts: 973
Location: Uk - Thornaby

29 Dec 2006, 1:47 am

strange phobia you hit the nail on the head it's a phobia - what does one do with a phobia, not really strange phobia it's very common with shy people...

" Ask permission to kiss her. Either she will say "Yes" or "No" " that's what I do, what dimensionaltraveler said, also putting arm around so on more you do it less anxiety you will get... ***** make it sound simple to brake a phobia ****

http://www.nnt.nhs.uk/mh/leaflets/shy%20A5.pdf

Aspie1
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29 Dec 2006, 7:35 pm

Here's how you can reduce your phobia: reframe the way you think about your actions. For instance, don't think of putting your arm around her waist as a way of leading to sex; think of it as something you do to make her feel comfortable and protected. Don't think of kissing her as getting something from her; think of it as giving her something pleasurable. If she likes it, she'll reciprocate, and you'll enjoy the pleasure of doing what you tried. If she doesn't like it, she'll tell you right away, at which point, you can say "sorry for making you uncomfortable" and simply not try it again.

matt_a
Tufted Titmouse