Am I an awful person? I'd like a seriously disabled girl...

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I think it would make me feel good to date a girl with a major disability such as blindness or someone who is mute. Maybe it would reassure me that I am not in a condition as bad as I think I am and it would sort of ensure that they will love me for who I am and not for looks. Another advantage is that a blind girl wouldn't cheat on me.

Am I a bad person for wanting a blind girlfriend?

there isn't anything wrong with blind people
but your reasoning is bad, yes

I just want someone who will love me as I am and not for looks or money or name. Having a blind girlfriend, marrying her, having children with her gives this insurance, this stability. You are certain that she will never cheat, you will never feel distant because you will always be helping her and I hear blind people talk quite a lot which is great.

You'd be surprised... blind people can get around.

Although someone who is blind might be more likely to have the qualities that you are looking for you have to realize that emotions are complex, and that there are probably a lot of people who are not blind who would have the same qualities.

Your interactions with someone can't be reduced down to characteristics like blindness, it is a combination of a lot of subtlety. You are overthinking things... I think.

yeah blind people aren't the dreg of society
maybe 100 years ago this would have been the case...but its not like that anymore
you have a flawed logic about this and you might get flamed by angry people

blind people can be all sorts of personalities, like ANYONE!
I never understand why people here think every group is the same and can score an easy girl because they think they know everything about that group

I can understand the OP's underlying motivations... I for one would love to be in a relationship where I didn't have to wonder constantly about the state of said relationship. I'd give anything short of my soul to be with someone and know that we are together, for good or ill.

The problem is, this whole blind thing. You seem to be targeting a demographic and then trying to white knight it. The problem is, in this day and age, "white knights" just come off as pricks to women. Trust me, I have personal experience in the matter.

I did not say easy, I am not looking for someone easy, I am looking for someone who isn't material, someone who will love me for what I am and someone who will need me as much as I need someone to fill my heart.

And where does blind figure into that? Or any other disability for that matter? There are blind people that are pricks, and sighted people that are actually fairly nice. There's no correlation. I'd love to be with someone who isn't material, who would love me for who I am as well, but I'm too much of a monster to ever be able to experience that...

I'm a worse monster than you. Probably.

I honestly think you have your priorities messed up here. Your post seems to indicate that you want to find a girl in order to help boost your ego. There's nothing wrong with dating a blind girl. There IS something wrong with dating a blind girl with a superficial motive.

It's true that a blind girl cant rely on looks in order to date guys but keep in mind that those with disabilities have personalities and tastes and some can even make bad choices just like any other normal person. I think it's a little extreme to suggest a blind girl would never cheat on you. When dating someone with disabilities even WE as Aspies can not suggest such views about other disabled persons as if they are automatically a better choice for us. A person is not judge by how able or disabled they are but how they utilize it.

I think one thing about dating someone that has a disability, is that with both people having a disability, they each know what it's like to be different or an outcast, and so they might understand each other and what they've gone through better than if one person was an NT or otherwise "normal". Although there are many understanding and nice people that don't have any disabilities.

But specifically going after people because of what you said OP, that you think they are less likely to judge you, is wrong.

Although, for me, dating a deaf person would be a opportunity for me to learn a sign language, whichever they knew, because I love learning languages. But I'd never specifically go look for a deaf person to date, because for me, having a disability or not doesn't matter, real love does.

Last edited by dunbots on 10 Jan 2011, 2:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

This reminds me of Rajesh from The Big Bang Theory, who always clams up around girls, being so happy to be dating a deaf woman.

And of the HBO movie Temple Grandin where Temple finally finds a college roommate she's compatible with. And she is blind.

Henry, there's nothing wrong or bad with wanting to date a blind person. But yes, the reasoning behind it, not so good. You should work on yourself first (based on your other thread) before you get involved with someone and find yourself losing interest in her quickly because of your other situation.

Now I'm wondering if you're related to the Princes of England or something. But seriously, I hope you find what you're looking for.

How is a blind person any different than one gifted with sight, in a romantic relationship? Or one who is deaf, or mute? They're still human. and of consenting adult age.

OP: Just add me to the growing list of people saying that you're not an awful person for wanting to date a blind girl, but the reasoning is funky.

One thing I'd like to add that nobody's mentioned yet, however, is the potential risk to the blind girl. It looks like there are underlying issues that you're hoping to solve by dating a blind girl. The thing that I would worry about is: let's say you do start dating her. What would you do if you still didn't feel better about yourself or about your neurology, etc.? In this kind of situation, it's very possible that you may melt down and take your frustration out on her, in an emotional or even physical way. That definitely wouldn't be fair to her, because frankly it wouldn't and shouldn't be her responsibility to fix that kind of need in you. This hypothetical situation may seem far-fetched, but it's actually not uncommon especially in cases where there is some element of power involved (e.g. you'd want a girl to be blind so that she can't ever physically judge by sight, as opposed to a girl who can see but chooses for herself not to judge by sight).

A thought question: if there were some kind of future technological advancement that would allow her to regain some or all of her sight, would you try to discourage her from getting the procedure done, because you would be worried that the relationship might worsen?

Okay, I think your reasoning is flawed to a point.

With that being said, seeking out somebody who has a disability because you also have a disability is not too uncommon.
I think it may be that you are seeking somebody who is also empathetic to your own situation and struggles rather than being dismissive. That makes sense. In fact this is why some people with disability seek out people with other disabilities is not too uncommon.

I will be honest being on the mild end of the spectrum and dating somebody with AD(H)D for me is helpful. While he sometimes struggles to understand certian aspects of me, he is also more accepting of those aspects even if he does not fully understand them. He is also more willing to work with me with things I do struggle with.

In general, I think this may be what you are probably looking for. Acceptance. Which is understandable. I think that is the biggest barrier to NTs, acceptance of the fact that some things we deal with cannot change, no matter how much they think we can.
It is also why people want to date others on the spectrum.

So yeah, I get it, but you could have worded it better.