The five illusions preventing you from letting go.

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I don't know what other forum to post this in. These illusions come from a book I am reading called "The Secret of Letting Go" by Guy Finley. But let's say for the sake of a relationship, here is what prevents you from letting go.

1. The illusion of feeling useless or otherwise insignificant in life (with it's heartache and sorrow).
2. The illusion of discouragement (with its bitterness and blame).
3. The illusion of regret (with its seemingly inescapable grief and guilt)
4. The illusion of limitation (with its fear and sense of frustration).
5. The illusion that others are better, stronger or wiser than you (with it's painful self-doubt and insecurity).

I would say for anyone that had problems in letting go of a past relationship, Look at the reasons why. Chances are it might come down to one or more of the illusions listed above.

3. and 4. are hardly illusions, I think they are quite real!

wow, very fascinating! i have been quite impressed with a lot of your contributions on the forum lately, aspiemike, and this post is no exception. you have a great deal of interesting insight.

The Third Way
The process involved is extremely simple, it takes as much effort as releasing your grip on an object. If you were to hold onto this object as tightly as possible for a few hours, the feeling would be uncomfortable but would become familiar. The same thing is happening inside your mind. In this case, the object is a feeling, a thought or a limiting belief (we will get to thoughts and limiting beliefs later). Letting go of a feeling is no different mentally as it is physically, in both cases you just unclench and let it fall.
Without your say so, the object or feeling does not remain attached to you. It may seem that the feeling is griping you, but in reality it is equally you that is gripping the feeling. If you rest something in the palm of your hand sometimes even a breeze can be enough for it to fall. The same is true of emotions, you can only let go of an emotion that you held onto in the first place. During this process never overlook that fact. You have to be aware if you are embracing currently what it is you are trying to release.
The mental equivalent of an open hand is open consciousness. I first thought that open consciousness was about being hyper vigilant and taking everything in. I was profoundly wrong. Open consciousness is about allowing things to enter AND leave your consciousness as you see fit. It is not having the front door open (the senses) and the back door closed. If this happens to you, imagine a tube/door inserted or placed on wherever the energy/sensations are, allowing them to leave through it.
When you look closely enough at any object, you see that there are gaps and spaces. Magnify anything enough and you start to see that most of everything is empty space. The same thing is true about feelings. When you really look at them closely, there is nothing there! This realisation regarding your feelings is the root of inner peace.
The process is made up of three steps and not all of them are actually necessary in all cases.
Welcoming – What are you feeling now? Sometimes just step one is enough to dissipate an emotion or a problem.

Letting go - Could you allow yourself to let go of that feeling?

Taking action and when – Could you do it now?
That’s it! This process takes literally three seconds yet it takes you an extra mile. It takes just three seconds to do when habitually reinforced:
Become aware of the feeling
Feel the feeling
Identify the feeling
Relax into the feeling
Release the feeling
At first you will have to do this consciously, it may take three hours. But as you become more familiar with this process, it will become something you do naturally. Eventually, you don’t even think about the process, you release on the fly. Things just don’t “get to you” anymore and you can take a point without taking any pain. Eventually you reach a state a calm stability and presence. Whatever emotions that do come up are the appropriate emotion to the appropriate degree and that never happens when there are blockages.

its an extract from my book

diet is later on

I use diet and some supps to influence hormones. But yeah sometimes some people do need drugs.

Hormones are bio-chemical messengers that impact on how we look, feel sex drive, motivation etc You would be amazed how much affects them

Thank you hyperlexian for your comment. Thank you all in here so for for your own contributions. Thank you to answeraspergers for your insight as well. It closely links to some of what I have been going through for all of the years and definitely is another way of explaining how your ego likes to use illusions to prevent you from letting go. All these illusions I mentioned seem to link directly to fear.

fear is the most elemental of emotions - it plays a huge role - specifically fear response.