I don't understand this girl.....:(

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I'm not sure if this is the right thing to post here, BUT I'm having this issue with this girl I like... We pretty much met in high school and have been talking on and off for about 5 0r 6 years now. I haven't told her that I may be an Aspie (although I doubt she would even know much about it). I think she's NT, but she does possess MANY Aspie traits, which may be why I'm drawn to her...

Anyway, we Are kinda far apart right now, Like literally on opposite sides of the US, so we talk when and however we can (text, maybe a phone call here and there). The problem is One minute she's talking to me hardcore, then the next its like she stops... She knows I like her a decent amount and "says" the same, but I'm not sure though.... I don't know if she is playing games, playing hard to get, she waits for me to text her first, but if I just stop talking to her, she's back hardcore again. Idk what her deal is, but its frustrating.

I'm the type of person who HATES playing games, Very straight forward. I don't understand people as it is and when it comes to this relationship stuff, I'm completely at a lose. I don't do the cat and mouse thing; its a waste of my time, mental, and emotional energies. If anyone could help (preferably NT, given the situation; anyone can chime in though) me out I would GREATLY appreciate it. Thanks.

You're living at opposite ends of the country. I wouldn't take things too seriously. Keep her as a long distance friend (more friends are always a good thing) and look for a more local girlfriend. Long distance relationships require a strong foundation to work and it doesn't sound like you'll end up getting it from this girl.

Thank you for your reply. What you are saying makes perfect sense based on the information I have given you.

However, I should elaborate a little more. We are at different ends for the time being. I will go back, in fact very soon. I'm studying to be a neurologist and at this point in my studies, It has me on the other side of the country, but even still what your saying makes sense. I guess I'm looking for "wife" material and not really a fling; Thats not my style and I feel that If I were to find a local Girlfriend it would be just that, which really isn't fair to her. Thanks, you gave me a little something to think about.

Are you sure you're not reading more into it than it really is? If I'm texting someone and go quiet, it's because I ran out of things to say or something else demanded my attention, then might continue the conversation later when I have something to say or whatever got me busy passed. Maybe a friend is text spamming her and she's crappy at multitasking a conversation. It could be many things.

Thank you for the words Aspiemike, your right.

And to you Mercifullyfree, I could see how you would arrive at that conclusion. Let me clarify a little more. When I mean she just stops texting me, I mean for days at a time (usually 3-4), almost like the days leading up never happened, but here's the kicker; most of the time this is after we may have talked on the phone for 3+ hours on the phone or have been heavily texting each other. Basicly, it's like she's my girlfriend (the whole nine) for the day's leading up and then nothing. Keep in mind, I Have know this girl for 5-6 and From the gate it was a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. So, she knows my intentions and she reciprocates.

Now if she's not interested, I can take a hint after so long, So I just stop talking to her, but then she's back all girlfriend like HARDCORE. I just don't get it. I'm fine with just not talking to her, But because of my perceived condition, I don't want to overreact and ruin something that could have have been good; after all I really like this girl. I'm just understand...

I'm also thinking that maybe because she knows I have a lot going for myself, that I'm just that back burner guy she can always run to, but again, I'm not sure and don't want to overreact (which I'm prone to doing); or maybe she just like's the attention, IDK.... Maybe she's just immature.

I'd be wary of her after your last posts. I would have to keep her at friendship level instead of possible romantic interest. She sounds like the type that loves getting attention. She might be getting some attention elsewhere as well and the attention you are giving her is never enough. But for the possible aspie traits it's really hard to know for certain. The disappearing act is rude and disrespectful to say the least. Do you ever ask her why she does that? Let her know how you feel when she does that?

However on the flip side, she may need her personal space because she feels overwhelmed if she herself is possibly an aspie. If you really want to find out, you are going to need some communication to get your through this. Talk to her.

Great advice Aspiemike, seriously.

I'm over it man, not worth my time; I have got too much to do. She will realize her loss, but it will be too late then. There Are WAY too many females out there that will appreciate a guy like me. She's still stuck in that high school mode.

Thanks,

I'm not quite sure what the issue is........

As someone who was in a long distance relationship for over 5 years, this all seems fairly normal to me. You both have your own lives so it's not uncommon to go a few days without communication. It sounds like when you are communicating, it's fairly extensive (3+ hour phone calls, etc.)

Based on the information you're giving me, I think you may be overthinking things. I think it would be hasty to just give up on this girl completely........

Update*** I ended it, whatever "it" was a day or so ago. Turns out she was just a HUGE attention seeker taking advantage.The messed up part about it is, she was going to let it ride for as long as she could. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, we never really said we were in a relationship I guess. But IDK, I mean, I thought that was a fair assumption. It's a good experience though, that will never happen again. Why do women have to be so cruel? What she did is beyond low.

Anyway, thanks guys.