Just looking for friends?

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I wanted to get some opinions/deciphering on something! I've noticed on dating sites, that a pretty large percentage of women (I'd say at least 30%) put on their profiles "I'm not looking for any sort of relationship, I'm just here to make friends." This just never really made much sense to me...why would you use a dating site if you're just looking to make friends? For one, those sites automatically exclude everyone of your own sex, so that's 50% fewer friends you can make lol. Not to mention, I'm sure that for most people there's plenty of slightly better ways to make friends! I've just seen this slogan so many times, and I can't help but be curious every time I see it. The only conclusion I've been able to reach is that some women are embarrassed to admit they're using a dating site, so putting that in there helps them sleep better at night. Or they only made an account to search through other people's profiles. Any ideas?

There's also a decent amount that say something like "I want to be friends with someone first and see where things go from there." That makes perfect sense to me and I do fully understand that mentality. I don't personally message people who say that though, just because it's more grey area than I'm comfortable with. Asperger's and all, I like for things to be clear-cut...all of that social navigating between friends/relationships and whatever confuses me far too much!

Ha! You're definitely right. Seems pretty pointless, huh? I've not understood that either. I don't go on dating sites anymore but, it seems there must be some sort of ulterior motive behind this strange "friendship-only" identity. Could be to detour creeps, but then again, why not just be honest? LOL

They unfairly assume guys only care about sex, so they're pretending to be the opposite of that.

Also, they probably think it's "clever" cause they know everybody assumes everybody else on there is usually looking for a relationship.

some people do make friends on there. i know people who used PoF for that purpose, and it worked out well for them. if friendship wasn't a valid purpose of the site, it wouldn't be an option in the drop-down menu.

seeing as how it is very easy to filter those people out of your search results when you are looking for dates, it shouldn't be a hindrance to your dating process. they don't have to come up on your radar, and you don't even have to look at their profiles.

if they did have some weird ulterior motive... so what? that would make them unsuitable for dating as they are quite unclear about what they are looking for. so perhaps it is a good idea to click away from their profiles as it may just be a waste of time thinking about them.

It may have to do with not wanting to be wrongly perceived as sluts who are only after sex, but I'm just guessing.

Nothing wrong with just wanting to find friends. For me personally, it is very difficult to socialise and meet potential friends that way. So, in the past, I *have* made a few friends through dating sites...yes.

Sometimes, I wish they would have the "several options" option. I might be interested in making friends with someone I feel a connection with, but don't necessarily feel a physical attraction to. If I knew that someone else might think the same about me? Voila, we can have a go at friendship only.

Your initial frame of mind for going on a dating site, can evolve into something else, without you necessarily being conscious of that possibility.

That's my opinion anyway.

I laugh when some put on their okc profiles;

Like really, why friends must be single straight guys?

Some people can be very guarded and it sometimes takes the right person to get them to drop their guard. I can assure you that being pushy will only make them keep their guard up.

A guy messaged me once on OkC and he had listed that he was only looking for friends. I asked him if that was really true, because that's not what I'm here for. He said he wants a relationship, but not until he is friends with the person first, so that's what he is looking for initially. Maybe a lot of women mean it in that way too?

Potentially for women it's also playing "really hard to get". You have to sweep her off her feet and convince her that you are the one she should be more than friends with. I wouldn't bother going after that type of woman, personally.

My relationships with men are friendships first and relationships second as I need to be able to talk to them and confide in them as a friend. Sex and physical affection type stuff is always secondary to this.

Hence I would look for friendship initially. Also by saying you only want friendship initially it's a way of taking pressure off ie you
are saying you aren't someone who is desperate to get married at the first chance ie you are an easy going person who wants to make a good connection with a person friendship-wise first then to see how it goes. This is how relationships progress naturally.

I can never take people who put that they are looking for a marriage partner on their profile seriously at all! They might as well put desperate, insecure person who will be exceedingly boring and annoying as this will invariably be the case! people aren't possessions to be owned and this is what people seeking marriage seem to want in my opinion.

Friends make a great foundation for a relationship. I believe (personally) healthy relationships are made from friendships. I mean that way when the friendship progresses into a relationship, there's not a lot of awkward feelings and what not. Both people would (assumedly) like each other and they'll already know what they're each into and what not.

Friends are great, and I suggest that if you really want to find a relationship you expand to include the people who just state they're "Looking for friends." Best thing is you will get some good air time in public with friends of theirs others, so you'll have a chance to mingle a bit and learn about things the person is into just by being around their friends.

:D

I'm in a relationship and I use OKC for friend finding/networking. The platform works well for me. I get a certain amount of spam from guys who haven't bothered to read my profile or exclude people listed as in a relationship from their search parameters, but I've also found some pretty cool friends I wouldn't have otherwise so it's worth it.
I haven't found a platform that is as effective for making contact with new people your age/in your area.

Most people on OKcupid have looking "for new friends" set as one of their options along with long-term dating and/or short-term dating. However, I think the OP was referring to ones who claim that they're only looking "for new friends" that are straight and single which is obviously questionable.

By the way, I seriously doubt there's many straight-male friends(two guys) that met each other on OKcupid. lol

Okcupid is a DATING website, with hearts and pink all around its design. Period.

It's not a facebook.

then why does it offer a friend matching service?

I have yet to see a profile of someone straight seeking only friendship with both sexes and non-single -it's always with the opposite sex and single.