Does he like me? Should I make the first move?

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Kiseki94
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26 Jan 2013, 11:55 pm

I met this guy at my school (college) a few months ago and we started talking on Facebook. We'd stay up late chatting about all sorts of things. Lately, I realized that I like him in a romantic sense. The other night I told him my room number, and he replied, "I'll keep it in mind~". I'm sure he was just joking, but I my heart sped up little. I kind of think he might like me (insert more doubt here), but yet I'm unsure because it is hard for me to read people. Do you think I should initiate something like sending him a random text or Facebook message? To start off, I'll do it "just to say hi". Usually, I'm not interested in dating or relationships, but he's the first guy I've been seriously interested in. I do have a fear of rejection (and insecurities due to my weight), but I might be missing out if I don't make a move. Any ideas? Comments? I just need a little encouragement.



Kinme
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27 Jan 2013, 12:16 am

If you like him, it's worth a shot. Try to hang out with him and stuff, and see where it goes from there, I guess. Don't push a relationship; let it come naturally.



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27 Jan 2013, 12:25 am

^^^ I agree with the business-as-usual-but-flirtier approach. Let him know that your open to interest (flirt) but also let him come to you.



mfs1013
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27 Jan 2013, 12:30 am

try to find out if he is more introvert or extrovert, unless you already know



MXH
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27 Jan 2013, 12:35 am

cozysweater wrote:
^^^ I agree with the business-as-usual-but-flirtier approach. Let him know that your open to interest (flirt) but also let him come to you.

chances are with trying this if he isnt already pikckking up on it he wont and youll lose him. my advice is to try to get flirty and then ask him out yourself. just dont make it super formalized, ask if he wants coffee or something as such



Kinme
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27 Jan 2013, 6:44 am

MXH wrote:
cozysweater wrote:
^^^ I agree with the business-as-usual-but-flirtier approach. Let him know that your open to interest (flirt) but also let him come to you.

chances are with trying this if he isnt already pikckking up on it he wont and youll lose him. my advice is to try to get flirty and then ask him out yourself. just dont make it super formalized, ask if he wants coffee or something as such


Maybe play with his hair, try to touch his shoulder, or anything that will come across that you like him more than a friend, but not TOO over-the-top.



1000Knives
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27 Jan 2013, 11:43 am

Kinme wrote:
MXH wrote:
cozysweater wrote:
^^^ I agree with the business-as-usual-but-flirtier approach. Let him know that your open to interest (flirt) but also let him come to you.

chances are with trying this if he isnt already pikckking up on it he wont and youll lose him. my advice is to try to get flirty and then ask him out yourself. just dont make it super formalized, ask if he wants coffee or something as such


Maybe play with his hair, try to touch his shoulder, or anything that will come across that you like him more than a friend, but not TOO over-the-top.


Women like me if they do that?



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27 Jan 2013, 12:14 pm

Maybe - instead of playing games - the OP would be better off to simply ask him for a date.

Of course, then she would be expected to pay for the date, but at least she would know for certain what his feelings are.



Kinme
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27 Jan 2013, 1:19 pm

Fnord wrote:
Maybe - instead of playing games - the OP would be better off to simply ask him for a date.

Of course, then she would be expected to pay for the date, but at least she would know for certain what his feelings are.


That isn't playing games; it's showing that she's interested. I'm pretty sure he's NT. If he's NT, he will read these signs as interest, will he not?



Last edited by Kinme on 27 Jan 2013, 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kinme
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27 Jan 2013, 1:20 pm

1000Knives wrote:
Kinme wrote:
MXH wrote:
cozysweater wrote:
^^^ I agree with the business-as-usual-but-flirtier approach. Let him know that your open to interest (flirt) but also let him come to you.

chances are with trying this if he isnt already pikckking up on it he wont and youll lose him. my advice is to try to get flirty and then ask him out yourself. just dont make it super formalized, ask if he wants coffee or something as such


Maybe play with his hair, try to touch his shoulder, or anything that will come across that you like him more than a friend, but not TOO over-the-top.


Women like me if they do that?


Depends on if they feel the same way. They may end up creeped out. If they're showing you this kind of body language, they may be interested. *Shrug*



1000Knives
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27 Jan 2013, 1:27 pm

I'm coming to the conclusion at least half of my problems with dating are being totally oblivious to when girls like me.



Kinme
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27 Jan 2013, 1:40 pm

1000Knives wrote:
I'm coming to the conclusion at least half of my problems with dating are being totally oblivious to when girls like me.


That could be very possible. Have you tried paying closer attention to their body movements, posture, etc., when women are around you? It isn't always a sure thing, but a lot of it may be interpreted as flirting. I've read on here numerous times, however, that women may be misinterpreted to like a guy, only to tell them they aren't interested.

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top ... _list.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Women's-Bod ... r-Flirting

Not sure if these are helpful or not. If the chick is autistic, I don't know what to tell you, lol. My body language is constantly being misread, so that would be impossible to decode.



Kiseki94
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27 Jan 2013, 6:21 pm

Thanks for all the helpful advice!! He is NT, but his brother has Asperger's. He already knows I have Aspergers's and he's okay with it. My main concern is looking like a creep. When the time comes, I want to ask him out, but right now are friendship is pretty new. (Only a few months.) Last night I sat next to him at a club event, and I maintained a "halfway" distance. Not too close not too far away. I let us "accidentally" brush shoulders when I reached into my pocket for me phone. At the end of the night, he hugged another one of his friends (she's a girl that hugs everyone) and he asked me if I wanted a hug. I gladly obliged....IT WAS AMAZING! (He smelled really good.) My heart is pounding just thinking about it........................yet, I could never say this to him or someone I know IRL because they'd probably think I'm weird. I'm going to take it slow, but I'm going to try not to lose the chance. I don't want to look like a super annoying, clingy girl.

Thanks again!!



1000Knives
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27 Jan 2013, 8:48 pm

Kinme wrote:
If you like him, it's worth a shot. Try to hang out with him and stuff, and see where it goes from there, I guess. Don't push a relationship; let it come naturally.


See if this advice was applied to a man, he'd be considered a "nice guy" and secretly a sociopath for doing this, and being totally manipulative and terrible for not telling his feelings right away.

The thing is, a time will come when you will have to share how you feel for a relationship to happen. Or else you'll be in perpetual limbo forever. And regarding ruining the friendship. You know what else ruins friendships? Being dishonest, in this case by omission. You can't hang out with someone you can't be open with. So your gambles can turn out like this. Eventually lose him as a friend due to not being able to be honest with him. Eventually lose him as a friend due to him not wanting to be romantically involved with you. Or winning. Of course you could also tell him and everything remains the same. As hard as it is, not telling someone how you feel will only lead you to a life of misery and regret that you'll have to face everyday. I still deal with mine from not telling someone how I felt who later got married. So you can give it a week to sleep on or whatever, but in the end these are your options.



billiscool
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27 Jan 2013, 8:51 pm

yes, go for it. if he like you,cool. if he don't, oh well, there are plenty of good men out there.



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27 Jan 2013, 8:54 pm

Fnord wrote:
Maybe - instead of playing games - the OP would be better off to simply ask him for a date.


Agreed. Just ask the SOB for coffee and stop being so damn manipulative. He deserves better.