What to say to an aspie you like who "can't" love?

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I put "can't" in brackets because it is not really what I wanted to say but it wouldn't fit otherwise. I believe all aspies can love in their own manner. The real title should be:

What would you say to an aspie you like who doesn't believe they can love?

I hope this may lead to an interesting discussion. To your keyboards...

I sometimes think that people on the spectrum who believe they can't love actually have such extreme issues with expressing love that they become convinced that they can't love. Society and people seem to have certain standards for expressing love or how love feels, and if someone's feelings don't match those specific parameters it can mess them up.

So what would you say to them to convince them otherwise?

Well, it just means they haven't fallen for anyone yet ;P

This is what I choose to believe. I just do my best to show how much I love them and how much I am in love with them and hope that if I'm "the one" they'll realize they love me and are in love with me too.

"Falling in love" is more like "falling in lust"--it's not love, it's sexual attraction.

I think anyone with emotions (ie, everyone, but sociopaths, and perhaps, young infants) are capable with love, but I'm not sure how to convince anyone of that.

I disagree, lust and love are two different things. You can love someone but not be 'in love' with them. You can in fact fall in love with someone. For me, I have fallen in love with someone and then later become sexually attracted to them. Usually if I'm sexually attracted (lust) to someone initially, that's all it's ever ended up being-sex. Love did not follow. I've only been in love with 2 people in 37 years of life and I haven't had sex with either of them yet I can say for a fact I was/am 'in love'.

Let me throw a spanner in the works.

Initially it was just sex, then I fell madly in love.

I never thought this was possible. Both of the above.

But it happens.

And with someone who "couldn't love". Or so they said. But love isn't an exchange coin. You offer yours and just hope it will be reciprocated. But don't forget love as a word, is different, from love as a gesture/s.

The person who says they can't love really hasn't given up that relationship with themselves and as a result can't be themselves. Chances are they have self-esteem issues and have probems being themselves around others. This person has to realize that they can't give or receive love, but share the love they have with another person. Before they do that, they have to give up the thoughts they have and start finding peace within themselves.

Love is a construct. He can or cannot love, depending on the definition being used.

I totally believe it could be sex first and then you can fall madly in love. Almost happened to me. But either way at some point you can fall in love.

Well, for a start, I'd try giving them the basic respect of assuming that they know their own feelings.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8kEr8hqb3g[/youtube]Hopes this helps!