Were you ever in a long-distance relationship that worked?

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rabidmonkey4262
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27 Jan 2013, 10:13 pm

I'm dating this guy and we're really attracted to each other. He's also on the spectrum and I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. We're both classical musicians, we share political ideology, and we have great physical chemistry. I really don't know how I got this lucky. The only catch is that he goes to school in the next state over. Plus our schedules are both so full that it can be hard to see each other. He's not that far away, only about 3 hrs. Do you think it's possible to maintain this relationship? We're crazy about each other, but I can't help but have some doubts about the future.


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Last edited by rabidmonkey4262 on 27 Jan 2013, 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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27 Jan 2013, 10:18 pm

Yes. My wife and I were engaged for over a year while we were geographically separated - I was in Los Angeles, and she was in the Philippines.

We've been married for about 20 years.


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frostbite
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27 Jan 2013, 10:42 pm

I am in the same boat right now. My other currently resides 7 hours away right now. I say hold on to this special someone as long as possible, and video chat whenever you 2 get the chance.


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eric76
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27 Jan 2013, 10:59 pm

I would suspect that how well it works depends a whole lot on the maturity of the people involved.



rabidmonkey4262
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27 Jan 2013, 11:14 pm

frostbite wrote:
I am in the same boat right now. My other currently resides 7 hours away right now. I say hold on to this special someone as long as possible, and video chat whenever you 2 get the chance.
There is some skyping, but it's just not the same. Plus I always get so awkward with skype and phone conversations. I don't know what that's all about.


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ShelbyGt500
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27 Jan 2013, 11:27 pm

I've had a number of long-distance relationships. When I lived in San Diego, I had a girlfriend who was going to school in Chicago. One of us flew to the other one's place about every two weeks, and that worked fine. Oddly, a long distance relationship can quickly expose whether you have a lot in common are not. I've had a girlfriend where we're incredibly happy just sitting on the couch together, then I would travel as part of my work and find that we really have nothing to talk about on the phone. The stark realization was that we were perfectly satisfied with each other's company, but had nothing in common. So, you may learn something about your relationship the easy way, that you may have found out later the hard way. In any case, good luck.



Last edited by ShelbyGt500 on 28 Jan 2013, 1:21 am, edited 2 times in total.

Zodai
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27 Jan 2013, 11:58 pm

Twelve hour drive.

Almost two months so far.

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Kinme
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28 Jan 2013, 1:19 am

Yep. And we're still together.



vk2goh
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28 Jan 2013, 2:34 am

just out of curiosity, are you guys actually in committed relationships with your other ?

I met a girl a couple of years ago in person while on holiday. We've kept in contact over facebooke and skype

So far I've treated it as a friend zone, getting to know her thing. She's sweet and honest, plus we share a lot of things in common.

So should I be honest about my feelings at this stage, or give it some more time ?



Kinme
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28 Jan 2013, 3:11 am

Yes. Very in love. Yeah, that would be a good idea.



Stalk
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28 Jan 2013, 4:16 am

rabidmonkey4262/Starbuck

Do you think it will not work, because you will lose interest in him if you don't get to meet him physically?



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28 Jan 2013, 6:01 am

Not yet, but my long distance relationships have lasted much longer than any local ones.


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blue_bean
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28 Jan 2013, 6:13 am

Have I been in long distance relationships? Yes
Did they work out? Hell no



albeniz
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28 Jan 2013, 6:22 am

LDR tend to evolve more slowly than close proximity relationships so it may take more time to pass the critical relationship tests that many relationships go through. They are a good test of commitment but the whole "living together" tests are never really encountered until a later date for obvious reasons. I would think that LDR are perhaps more likely to work during the long distance phase with AS compared to NT because the physical and social demands are generally reduced for AS. This said, when the time comes to move closer this is where I would expect most problems to arise. I realise there may be exceptions to this.

At three hours drive from each other and from what you describe you are a very good match and should be OK I would think. Meet in the middle -> 1.5 hours drive each! :P

I'm only too happy to try and help classical musicians! :D



rabidmonkey4262
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28 Jan 2013, 11:07 am

vk2goh wrote:
just out of curiosity, are you guys actually in committed relationships with your other ?

I met a girl a couple of years ago in person while on holiday. We've kept in contact over facebooke and skype

So far I've treated it as a friend zone, getting to know her thing. She's sweet and honest, plus we share a lot of things in common.

So should I be honest about my feelings at this stage, or give it some more time ?

I think you should be honest. Just make sure you tell her on skype and not via phone or text. It proves you have the courage to communicate in an honest and direct manner; a huge advantage in a prospective mate.


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Geekonychus
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28 Jan 2013, 11:31 am

Was in a 5+ year long distnace relationship. Worked for a while although if we ever made it to the moving in stage, it probably wouldn't have lasted nearly as long as it did.