I have an intense crush on a co-worker of mine, and I've just learned that he has a crush on me too. Learning this confirmed my confusion about whether or not he was flirting with me or just being a nice guy (I can never pick up on the body language and "between the lines" communication that comes with flirting unless it's grossly obvious). I'm really awkward around boys I like. When I do talk to them, I'm so nervous and anxious that I'll say something stupid (and sometimes I do) that I think it makes me behave unusually. Mostly I'm so nervous that I can't even muster the courage to talk to them at all. With my co-worker, when I initially see him I can't even look him in the eye or say hello to him until I feel comfortable. Also, when I'm at work I actually like to work (unlike a few of my co-workers who spend most of their time socializing) so it's hard for me to give him more attention because I'm so focused on my job and I think it may send the wrong signals because it sometimes involves me ignoring him, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my job in that way. When I find an opportunity to talk to him, I can only think of a few things to talk about, and then I just freeze unless he brings up something else. Before I knew that he actually liked me, I didn't want to make it obvious that I liked him, but having it confirmed makes me want to be a little more open with him. Also, he unfortunately has a girlfriend which still makes me reluctant to try and get closer to him because I don't want to be disrespectful to her and their relationship.
It's confusing though, because my friend/co-worker who told me that he liked me said that he doesn't have a good relationship with her and whenever talk of her comes up between him and I, he doesn't talk about her very long. In fact he doesn't talk about her at all unless someone brings her up. Even still, I can't pretend she doesn't exist because even if he does like me, he's with her and there's no guarantee that he'll break up with her (and I'm really not trying to break up a relationship because I wouldn't want that to happen to me).
Anyone ever been in a similar situation? Any advice on how to talk to him and get to know him without being overtly flirty? I don't even like flirting. It makes me uncomfortable, and I think it's a waste of time not to just be straight forward about how you feel (if you actually have the courage to do it). I really do just want to get to know him much better and see what happens from there, but I'm totally clueless and this whole situation is making me anxious and distracted!
02 Feb 2013, 1:17 am
