Picking up on nonverbal flirting signals

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I am sure this has probably been brought up countless times in this subforum, but I am interested in seeing the most up to date information people can give.

I seem completely incapable of picking up on nonverbal signals of attraction. It might just be my complete lack of understanding of my own demographic's culture, but it is impossible for me to differentiate between "being nice" and "flirting." I have had several instances where I have thought that someone might have expressed nonverbal interest, such as glancing over at me or seeking me out in class (once) when our professor asked to break into pairs. However, I am so concerned about overanalyzing that I might end up overanalyzing my overanalyzing (how meta!) and rationalize away any indications I get.

Has anyone had similar problems with interpreting nonverbal signals and then learned how to both analyze and communicate the language? If so, I'm sincerely interested in any tactics or methods you used to train yourself. Does it require jumping into the fray and risking burning my bridges, or can it be done through cognitive-behavioral therapy?

I'm experimenting with just telling woman up front that I'm autistic and explaining my particular characteristics. It doesn't work very well. I'm quickly coming to the conclusion that autistic people are best to be with autistic people. From my life experience, I've had my best luck with women who get to know me as an individual before we start dating.

To address the issue of picking up the flirtatious cues, I don't realize they've occurred until I see the negative response from a woman who feels ignored. Faking behaviors is risky and often backfires. And trying to interpret things that you effectively can't see his groping in the dark.

Funny enough, I can't pick up the negative cues of feeling ignored either.

I wonder if there is some sort of way of at least memorizing what kinds of facial expressions coincide with what moods. Given my natural inability to just pick up on it, but with my continued desire to keep trying to understand the emotional states of others, that seems like my only solution. But the question remains is, of course, how to do that, which goes back to my original question.

Anyone able to utilize the Aspie ability for hard logic and reasoning to learn or condition mental connections between facial expressions and corresponding emotions in others? Any psychologists or psychological clients know of any roleplaying methods that can be utilized to at least get the ball rolling?

Also, to be clear, I don't intend to fake behavior to pass off as an NT, but rather to learn NT (and Aspie, as I imagine Aspies could probably exhibit some cues without even realizing it) social communication albeit via a method other than pure instinct.

I do not have Autism or Aspergers, at least I haven't been tested for either, but I have very very similar issues when it comes to socializing. I keep feeling like I am missing the gene that makes socializing so intuitive for others.

One thing that helped me when it comes to recognizing the difference between flirtation vs friendliness is that people who flirt will push the boundaries every now and then, while people who are just friendly would stop their 'flirting' behiavior once it reaches a certain limit, like achieving their goal of being humorous. People who flirt to make you and themselves feel good stop once they reach that level; those who are interested will keep going, they will keep talking, keep seeking you out, and generally just try to find excuses to continue their flirting.

Now the above only works for those who are confident enough to be foward in their desires, usually extroverts and social butterflies. To find indications of interest in the less outgoing crowd is a bit more difficult. This is when reading body languages can help, though that in and of itself needs practice and is hard to decipher. I know it is difficult for me sometimes to navigate a conversation and focus on a person's body language at the same time. I usually sacrifice one for the other in a social situation (imagine some of the awkward moments I found myself in when I had no idea what the guy was talking about because I was too intent on trying to see if he is doing a crotch display or wondering if I should stare at his lips or his eyes while he is talking!)

However there are a few things that can help in terms of body language that is universally true. If you look at a girl and she catches your eye but looks away, keep your focus on her- if she looks back after looking away then she is interested, at least initially. This is especially true if she smiles or blushes or looks down when she notices you looking at her.

It's pretty tough to be accurate about it, though. Some people may show these "flirting" signs and it means nothing whatsoever. Is that only for people on the spectrum that it isn't always accurate? I've heard people say that women seem as though they're flirting because their body language is read that way. It isn't even the case: the women end up not being interested at all, and they say "That's just my personality." Same can be said for certain men. How do you differentiate if it's genuine or not? I guess you'd have to get to know the person better, because it could be misinterpreted.

well, funny story actually...
trough my gathering knowledge on the subject, i am now better at detecting someone flirting with someone else then my peers are (me and person 2 see person 3 flirting with person 4).
however, as soon as i am the recipient, this skill goes down the gutter and i become as socially blind as i have always been; most likely becouse having any interaction with people i dont know takes so much energy that i cannot maintain other skills on the side (like reading nonverbal ques)

This is an article that may prove helpful:

https://www.wrongplanet.net/article434.html

information overload.

now if I can't remember all 10 things then I am going to suspect every women to flirt with me...

i could not watch those videos for over 2 minutes combined total... they just sound so... stupid. that and the fact that they keep interrupting each other... no thanks, i'll skip on them