Is there anyone who absolutely....

Post Reply New Topic

would not consider dating an NT? and why?

Yes. Honestly, a lot of the men I've met who have been "normal" I haven't had very similar interests with. I lost interest quickly. I can't be in a relationship with someone I don't have things in common with. That's why I'd much rather be in a relationship with someone who has special interests like my own. Not only that, but the last time it happened, the person didn't understand where I was coming from half the time, and believed I was making up sensory issues and so on. I want someone that understands me and accepts me unconditionally. The only way I believe that someone can be this way toward me is if they have their own quirks and truly can relate.

Well, I find NT people too complicated for me, I don't know. And basically we don't have anything in common, I don't feel like a NT person would fully understand me, my feelings and my obsessions.

What if they had similar interest and were able to not necessarily relate to you, but were able to accept you-all inclusively?

I would, if I were single.

But whether or not anyone would consider dating me is another matter entirely.

I don't get this dichotomy between NTs and people on the autism spectrum. With some people it's hard to know if they are NT or on the AS, they might be on it and not know it, I just don't get it. There's not always such a big difference between us.

^^^agree with this.

After a spending a lot of time on this board I've found that there are certain specific issues I have in common with most people on the spectrum. But I have also found that any given spectrumite is no more likely to be similar to me in personality than any given NT.

I personally prefer the company of people who identify as autistic, or people who seem to be that way (introverted, obsessed with math or something), but I don't think I get the luxury of ignoring that large a pool of potential partners. There are a lot more aspie men than women, so supply and demand is against me, and it also does not appear to me that I am in high demand anyway, so I do not think being autistic would be a reasonable expectation for me to have.

I still don't think it would be the same.

Fair enough

To be honest, probably not. Why? They are too judgmental and prejudiced. I might date one from a more introverted/unemotional culture, such as China, however. Definitely not from the U.S.

I would consider, and welcome it, as long as she maintains consistency and understands the implications. I have heard enough stories of personality clashes between Aspies and NT's due to the NT's frustration with the Aspie's lack of reciprocating love in the socially accepted ways (we express love in other ways!).

You don't yell at a blind man for not complimenting the redness of your dress, and nor should you yell at an Aspie for lack of NT behaviors. I'd consider an NT partner who understands this.

I'll date any girl who is pretty in my eyes, is energetic, but most of all, doesn't care that the man who might possibly be her husband is on the spectrum. NT or Aspie. Trust me, there are some gorgeous and intelligent women on the spectrum. But Fernando Martinez says it best.

That quote is from one of the Grand Theft Auto games, for the 2% who did not get the connection.

Let's say if I wouldn't want to marry her, why date her in the first place? (I do, like with everything, make exceptions).

I don't mind many NTs actually.

That's nice to know. This makes me think about if someone were to ask me if I would date an Autistic person. I can't imagine just saying "no...because...well just because they're Autistic!" If they can give me what I need in one way or another, then I'm fine.



Is this from experience?

.

No not always. But I've been coming here for about a year and there are a LOT of things I simply cannot relate to. There are threads dedicated to things NT's do that irritate folks on the spectrum. Some of which don't irriate me probably because I'm guilty of a lot of them. There are differences, I just choose to try to understand them. Some I know I never will but that's not my goal.

Yes. Very prejudiced in the U.S. when it comes to social skills and extroversion. To say nothing of aspies, introverts are about as badly treated in the U.S. today as black people were before 1956.