I need some good stories. Tell me how good it is?

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Those of you familiar with my history and my posts, know what a disaster my dating life has been. I've found many women, each of whom I cared for deeply. None reciprocated. I had a great date with a woman a few weeks ago, and then we kept in touch by phone. Or rather, I did. I would call every week or so, and we'd chat for an hour, and enjoyed it very much. A few days ago we made plans to meet again this evening. The day of, I contacted her, leaving a message to let me know when she was free and we could make arrangements. She never responded, and I spent the evening at home alone.

I see my friends, who are in committed relationships, and I see how loving each are toward the other. And such love is completely alien to me. I don't think I'd even know what to do if I ever found such love, because up to now, the love has been mine alone, utterly one sided. I've never even known a woman who took the time to call me.

How I want to be WANTED. How I want for to know there is someone out there who has sufficient regard to call me on occasion, rather than leaving every action entirely up to me. To know someone who wants to hang out, who wouldn't be so callous as to make plans, and then casually disregard them.

How I want to be regarded as attractive, sexy, worth loving. The deprivation is driving me to madness. I have thoughts of cutting myself, when I'm not alternating between overindulging in pizza, and skipping meals, and doing hard workouts in the morning cold. I feel a need to do some kind of penance for failing to be sufficiently desirable to women.

Does it get better? I need some good stories. Please, those who are out there, tell me your happy experiences. How you have managed to find someone who reciprocates your feelings, who cares for you.

Because right now, I feel like I will never find companionship, and the prospect, the loneliness is driving me mad.

I found a person who truly loves me, who very quickly became my best friend. She's the first person I felt I could be myself with. She accepted my son, my quirks, and all the baggage I came with. She cares for me and thinks of me and always wants me to be happy. She texts me regularly thoughout the day .. even after 4 years. She buys my son gifts and tickets to events .. and never asks for anything in return. We married 6 months ago and it was perfect. Last night, she declared a break-up. I'm about to lose my best friend.

Historically, I have had this problem a lot. I think it is mostly just from not being able to read between the lines when someone is only interested in friendship. NTs must be able to tell when this is happening. I think everyone has to wade through many, many dates before finding something that clicks for both parties. Just because it didn't work the first several times doesn't mean it's never going to happen. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with you, that's just the way dating works. I currently have a boyfriend who accepts and even indulges my quirks. He thinks they are cute. Didn't meet him until I was 31 and had had many miserably failed relationships. Chin up! Everything that doesn't work is just practice foe the one that does!

I had 10-12 really good years with a beautiful woman, starting from a blind date! Things didn't end well due to unexpected changes compounded by my occasional neglect when stuck in an "aspie loop". Even if I hadn't made my mild mistakes and occasionally-negative attitude, the tragedy would've still driven us apart due to lack of counseling and too many "friends" advising her to upgrade to a "better man" who's more sociable and earns more, etc.

10-12 years... some people never even get that. Gawd I still miss the good times though... [wistful sigh]

I've had several great relationships over the years.

I had 2 years with an incredibly interesting and intelligent man who was the first guy I'd ever met who spoke to me like I was an actual person and not just a girl. It was INTOXICATING! He had an encyclopedic knowledge of history (U.S. but also the rest of the world). He was fascinating. I still miss talking with him over diner omelets on Saturday mornings.

I had 6 years with a guy whose sense of humor is exactly like mine. We would spend hours reading together, on either ends of the couch, and he never complained when I would read him bits of my books. (Also, he knew to call my name and then wait for me to reply because sometimes I get so focused that I'm basically deaf). I miss having someone in my life who picks up on the quotes that I weave into my speech. I'm shocked now when someone gets the reference and understands that I'm making a joke.

I had another 6 years with a jokester who was nothing like me at all. He was funny and sweet and a really good time. On Saturdays, I would ride along with him while he worked. We would spend 8 hours in a truck together, listening to the radio and talking, and it was always fun. He was and is a really nice man.

I know it's hackneyed but like Suess says: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
I prize my alone-ness right now. I've never had the strength of will to go entirely my own way when other people are near enough to judge what I'm up to. If I had a guy right now, I can guarantee that I wouldn't have spent my day the way I did. It was incredibly rewarding, but every guy I've ever dated (no matter how nice and easy-going) has had opinions about my activities that have affected my behavior. They'll make fun or act like my interest is stupid or a waste of time. I end up having to hide the extent of my interest in my special interests. So while, yeah, sometimes I get lonely and wish I had someone, most of the time I just can't be bothered.

Man what that must be like to be in a happy relationship, even for a while. I'd give up the rest of my life, I'd throw away everything that makes me unique and special, I'd sell my soul to the devil himself, for just one month with someone who loved me as much as I loved her. Someone who enjoyed my company, someone who'd call me and invite me over in the evening. Someone who'd hold hands with me, and walking through art galleries, and eat in sketchy old restaurants. Someone who wanted me, found me desirable, sexy. Someone with whom to make love.

I honestly think happy stories are only gonna make u sadder, but if that's what u want....

I met my bf on OKC. I joined after falling in love w/ a WP member that lived across the country and wanted to find someone I could actually touch.

My parents were out of town for the weekend when he messaged me. The next day, a joke about my parents being gone was the perfect time to meet actually turned into a meeting. Really stupid, I know, he coulda been a rapist. But he wasn't, and we had such an instant strong physical chemistry that I spent most of the night in his lap kissing him. I had never been kissed before, but I learned fast.

6 months later, we have that same chemistry. We made thru so many obsticles. He lives an hour and half away, my parents are controlling, I got mono and was too sick to see him for a month, he switched jobs and couldn't afford the drive over for another month. So much separation.

I have no doubt that he loves me. I can see it in his eyes. As an aspie, I can see it, and his eyes are gorgeous, as is the rest of his face. I love to look. I love when he holds me. He holds my hand when I hurt, he loves things about me that I hate.

We trade mushy romantic sentiments in one sentence and raunchy adult jokes in the next. We are alike in many ways. He is one of the few ppl who is smarter than me. (Among the people that I have met irl.) His chatty nature, tho sometimes annoying, is a perfect complement to my near-silence. He has enough aspie traits to be a very good match for me. He is NT, but his executive dysfunction is worse than mine. I forsee that being an issue long-term, but we are doing fine right now.

More than fine. We are rediculously, deeply, make by-standers puke in love. And it's awesome.

I just need to know that it is POSSIBLE to find love. To find someone who reciprocates the sentiment. Because right now I have all this pent up energy, all this love I have felt for others, which was not accepted, because they did not feel for me what I felt for them. I have so much to give, and I'm just so desirous of finding someone who feels the same way. Just to know there is someone thinking of me, who will call me as much as I call them, who WANTS me.