Age...guys-younger or older women? NT or not? Same for wome

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Hypothetically speaking, as a 23 year old, aspie male, do you see more of us being with NT older (young women), or younger? If so, how much older/younger? 18 being youngest obviously. What about aspie couples?

I don't care about age. It's a number, the heart is def. more important, I am just curious to hear what yall have to say.

At 26, I think 18-21 NT's is easier. They are usually immature and shallow like me. Women my age are too sophisticated, socially and otherwise. Older women are too hot-tempered and impatient when we are slow and immature. I think if you're going to date aspie, around the same age is good.

So, for you, as long as you're reasonably good-looking, I think 18 would be a good target age.

It's called Pervasive Developmental Delay. This inherently suggests we should be dating individuals younger than ourselves.

See, I can see that but I also wonder if older women, would be more understanding. I am a kind person with nothing but love to give her, and will please her beyond her imagination, and some younger girls, look for the dudes that are having the job, etc. which I am currently looking for- just getting out of college in June, and living at home for now.

Yes, it's all good until you screw up. Older women don't have patience for the shallowness, incompetence, and immaturity that comes with Pervasive Developmental Delay. Younger women are shallow, incompetent, and immature themselves relative to older women. They are more likely to show their interest in a more obvious way, too, and more likely to go based exclusively on feeling and appearance, as opposed to all the complicated stuff that mid to late 20's women look for.


i read your post more carefully, and I think you have a point. I think it depends upon what your weaknesses are. Mine are having a bad personality and a very shallow understanding of social relationships, and the world generally, but I'm decent when it comes to degrees and jobs, so the fact that younger women are more shallow than older women actually works to my advantage. Reverse these weaknesses, and you might have better luck with older women. Why don't you try reaching out to both?

I've only ever known one autistic person in real life, so I can't say much about that at all, let alone what it might be like to date another. So far as I know, at least, most of the people I've known and been with have been NT.

I generally seem to get along better with older people in general. I do have male friends my own age which are easy enough to just hang out with or play games with, so that's not really an issue. But as far as female friends go, I've noticed that a lot of the younger ones seem a lot more shallow and self absorbed. There have been more than a few exceptions, mostly with people here actually, so I'm sure that's not always the case, but it's been my experience.

For older women, I've talked to and gotten to know them just fine. The only problem is that some are just much too old and remind me of my mother. So that is still a problem, too, if I ever thought about dating any of them at all, but of course I wouldn't because of that.

So personally I would prefer someone who is maybe a few years older than myself, but I'm not going to deliberately ignore someone as a potential date just because of their age as everyone is different and there's still a chance someone younger might be a bit more mature.

I am 27 and have mainly dated NT guys, usually older than me. A couple were the same age, a few months younger actually.

I ended up marrying an older aspie, well I seriously suspect he is an aspie too, his is more mild than my AS though.

Without going into all the gory details, it works better for me to date older men. I am fairly quiet and don't like the social scene and I find the closer to my age they are the more they are social and it leads to a huge rift.

I can't really comment on how women act NT or Aspie, because I have never really noticed much. What little I have noticed is that younger women seem needy. I haven't had a lot of female friends so IDK, I prefer male company. Really I can only comment what I have done.

Plus I am severely broken and when it comes to relationships and have had weird ones, I have my quirks

I'm 28 and though I prefer older women I attract 17-21 usually. Sometimes a little older but that seems to be the age bracet.
30 somethings, hello! I'm over here!

I agree with what TyriOn has said so well in this topic.

I believe that older women are more understanding, but it cuts both ways. In our late 20s we tend to start seeing the substance of a man as opposed to being attracted by looks and the 'cool factor'. By substance I am referring to ethics, competence, confidence (not anxious), intelligence, work ethic, self reliance, etc.

Until a man is launched; meaning he has started his work life; many of the "substance" qualities I referred to are, necessarily, not yet well developed. Women 30 and over tend to be aware of this and are unlikely to try out a man who is still finding his place in in adult life.

However, I know a number of women who are in long term relationships and marriages with men well below their own competence, maturity levels and social skills. They are all women who believe that unless they accept a fledgeling they can bring along in life, they will be unable to attract any man at all.

It really doesn't matter to me the age difference or what background they came from or if they have a label attached to them. If I can connect with someone, then I will do what I can to make things work and she probably will too.

I don't really have a lot in common with girls over the age of say.. 22-23.. the closer they get to my own age the less well we mesh.. they start to see me as a "Kid brother" type.. that really really makes sense though as I run about a 5-6 year developmental delay when it comes to some things.. I was a VERY late bloomer.. not even really starting puberty till about 14 or maybe even 15.. and in a lot of ways most people still think I'm only about 21 even though I'm much closer to 30.

That's not a bad place to be. Just think, when you're 50, all the 25-year-old girls will want you (assuming you make decent money).

I feel predatorial (and I don't like that) going after women younger than me, even if it's just a year. I can't stand being in a relationship with someone who doesn't share at least a few "aspie traits". I'd say my comfortable agre range once in a relationship is probably (mostly due to generational tastes in movies, music and games) 18-28.

My last girlfriend was 4 1/2 years younger than me. These days, I seem to be more drawn toward women who are older. There have been 2 women in particular that I've been interested in recently. Both 32, one of them didn't want to date me and the other I'm going out on a date with in a couple of days. I think someone a bit older than me works well. I like maturity and experience but I wouldn't go for someone 35+ because then the age gap is getting a bit too wide.

Yeah I won't make good money.. I'm a Humanities Major.. that means I'll spend the rest of my life working retail or at best an adjunct professor at a sh***y community college. But all of my dates/partners over the last few years have been between 5 and 7 years younger than me. But I'm starting to lose that ability as I just am losing touch with their culture the more distant I get from it. It doesn't help that I was already an 'old soul' to begin with..

Go to law school, or teach university in Asia.

I think being distant from their culture can be a good thing as long as you're open-minded. Just being boring and set in your ways isn't going to cut it, however. In my experience as an aspie, the greater the cultural difference, the easier it is to find a date. So, in Manchuria/Mongolia/Eastern Europe, it's easy to get interest from those girls, even those in the U.S. Western Europe or Shanghai? Not so much...

I'm not interested in any of those places to be honest, nor am I interested in taking on 200k in debt to go to law school.

Nice ideas but I'd rather work at Starbucks in Seattle than be a teacher in China. Personal preference and all that.