Am I a Donkey?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Feb 2013, 8:42 am

If women are the Carrots, then men must be the donkeys.

I am a Donkey?

hyperlexian
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15 Feb 2013, 8:59 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

If women are the Carrots, then men must be the donkeys.

I am a Donkey?

are you going to ask a serious question, or are you trolling?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Feb 2013, 9:04 am

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

If women are the Carrots, then men must be the donkeys.

I am a Donkey?

are you going to ask a serious question, or are you trolling?

Is Ann's thread trolling? if not then so is mine.

I have gotten the feeling that men have to pursue women and do them things in order to get something from them ie. affection, sex..whatever.

So here I am asking, are men expected to be donkeys?

hyperlexian
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15 Feb 2013, 9:08 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

If women are the Carrots, then men must be the donkeys.

I am a Donkey?

are you going to ask a serious question, or are you trolling?

that's better - a point to the thread.

in reply... no, men are not expected to be donkeys. i believe you have personal experience of a woman offering you sex, and you didn't have to be a donkey for that. i also have personal experience to the contrary.

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Ann2011
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15 Feb 2013, 9:20 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I have gotten the feeling that men have to pursue women and do them things in order to get something from them ie. affection, sex..whatever.

I have gotten this feeling too. When the initial passion of a relationship wears off, it sometimes has seemed like sex and affection become commodities. I don't know whether this is right or wrong, or just the way it is.

Quote:

So here I am asking, are men expected to be donkeys?

I'm not sure what you're getting at with the donkey analogy.

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Feb 2013, 9:22 am

^ The donkey follows the carrot, do you see the analogy now?

Ann2011
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15 Feb 2013, 9:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ The donkey follows the carrot, do you see the analogy now?

Got it.
But which came first, the donkey or the carrot, or is it a mutual understanding? In other words, is it a natural state of relationships to use sex and affection as manipulative tools?

hyperlexian
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15 Feb 2013, 9:43 am

Ann2011 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ The donkey follows the carrot, do you see the analogy now?

Got it.
But which came first, the donkey or the carrot, or is it a mutual understanding? In other words, is it a natural state of relationships to use sex and affection as manipulative tools?

if it was a "mutual understanding" then dinner and a movie would inevitably lead to sex, and it doesn't. i think that some people live within that paradigm and others don't. it's like a sorting hat - they find each other eventually. some people do this stuff and others don't. i consider it dangerous because an expectation or a sense of entitlement from investment can lead to a person simply taking what they think they are owed.

i find that whole paradigm toxic so i don't associate with it in my relationships. i don't let men buy me stuff, i don't usually date men who pursue me, and sex is kind of irrelevant to the dating framework. i.e. sex happens very quickly, so there is no buildup of expectation. no carrots and no donkeys.

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Ann2011
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15 Feb 2013, 9:51 am

hyperlexian wrote:

i.e. sex happens very quickly, so there is no buildup of expectation. no carrots and no donkeys.

I look at it this way too. If it happens, it happens, but there should not be an expectation of it.
I think there is too much commercialization of women in popular culture. Sometimes men see me as commodity first and a person second. (Not all men; and men might say the same thing about women seeing them as a resource.)

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Feb 2013, 10:20 am

Ann2011 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

^ The donkey follows the carrot, do you see the analogy now?

Got it.
But which came first, the donkey or the carrot, or is it a mutual understanding? In other words, is it a natural state of relationships to use sex and affection as manipulative tools?

Oh...well.... the two genders have evolved in parallel.

MXH
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