Do aspie males take a while to fall in love?

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Do you take a while to process your feelings for someone you've slept with and does falling in love take a while for you? I'm seeing this aspie for the past 2 1/2 months and he just recently started cuddling with me after sex and feeling more comfortable with me. Is this how aspie males react to new relationships? What should I do to speed things up? I am already in love with him.

Just let things go and develop naturally, don't try to force things otherwise you may push him away as romance can be an overwhelming thing for those of us on the spectrum so you need to be really sensitive.

Are you kidding? If anything, I fall for someone very quickly. I get obsessed very easily. Never 'slept with' anyone, though. I'd have to love them, and hope they love me as well (unlikely to ever happen) before that happens.

As alexithymia is common among Aspies, it's quite possible that he really doesn't know.

It took me 4 years, then she changed her mind.

One thing to say - for things like this, I doubt there is a "General" rule here
Though, that would normally indicate a step in the right direction...
Myself, if you got that far, you would be good. But after only three months of knowing a person... *blinks*
I am suprised you got that close that fast.

Actually we're known each other in a professional capacity for the past four years. We just started casually seeing each other (in secret) in the past 2 1/2 months.

You are in love with him and are looking for a reason to believe that there's a good chance that he'll reciprocate eventually. That happens a lot in love relationships and rarely does it work out for the one already in love; almost never.

I'm going to answer your post addressing your side of the relationship. He feels as he feels and will continue to feel and interact in his own role in the relationship. You can only stay in your own role, no matter how effectively you cling to projections of his emotional trajectory.

Please do yourself the favor of not grasping at aspergers as an unknown element through which you can project your hopes.

Take your relationship "as is" at each moment. Are you enjoying your relationship right now? All relationships evolve, but it's the process; the day to day that constitute relationships. Does your day to day interaction with him satisfy you? Because that's your relationship; that's what is. Relationships are not imaginary projections into the future.

That's not true. There are many cases where people like each other but don't know what they are feeling. I admit that during the first month, I didn't know whether I was in love with him or not......there were instances where I was really confused. It was only within the last month that things started to become clearer. It was basically lust that evolved.....

This is my opinion based upon observing relationships for over half a century. I wish it were not so.

I remember falling in love much quicker than she did... almost scared her off with it!

Danged walls.

Aspie or not, we're still human and will vary accordingly. The only "Aspie" factor is out awkwardness while we do it.

They either fall in love instantly or after forever. But if bill's thread's are of any value on the bright side is they don't fall out of love as quickly

It depends what you mean by "love".

I'll often obsess over someone who seems to fit my personal list of criteria, and will certainly reciprocate any affection given back to me (as long as that person has not wronged me in the past in a fundamental way).

If by love you mean a strong emotional connection to another in a deep fundamental way, I can't say for sure yet how long that takes; I have yet to experience that, or at least I have yet to identify experiencing that.

From personal experience; if an Aspie honestly does feel like they're falling in love with someone - just consciously knowing it can speed up the process, and if they're certain enough about it one might even attempt to speed up the process just by repeating "I love _____" in their head thousands of times over.

Well, this is all personal experience though XD.

Well, I don't think that there is a general rule. However, there may be a few trends because there are more general rules as to how AS affects our relationships with other people, often leading to similar past experiences with relationships.

I can say that I am very quick to fall for someone and have a hard time letting go, but am also very VERY slow to let myself connect on a deep emotional level. This is because of the many negative relationships that I have had, and my frustration with understanding them (although they weren't all bad). AS, I believe, played a significant role in my unfortunate relationship history, even so far back as my childhood relationship with my mother.

I think that this sort of baggage is not uncommon among aspies. However, I don't want to say that it is true for most. There are other relationship patterns that are equally common.

It's taken me more than a few months to years to feel lie I know someone enough to feel I've known someone long enough to feel love for them. I know enough to throw out first impressions entirely as they are more often just infatuation and lust.