I need help. My bf is an aspie as am I, thus making for a nice mostly logical relationship. Problem, he is struggling with depression and it has gotten to a moderate on a depression rating scale in the past month. He has been under a lot of stress with losing his employment and moving in with his parents until school starts. We currently live 6 hours apart and have not been able to see each other very frequently. As his birthday is coming up I wanted to go and visit for the weekend while staying with some friends. He has been saying that he is not sure if this is a good idea as he fears his mom will dislike me. I figure that it would be good then for his mom to meet me and relieve her fears about my character and taking advantage of her son.
I know that he has been struggling with depression and with it he has asked to slow down the relationship and has been talking less.
This past week he has been questioning how compatible our personalities are, although he admits this could be part of the depression as he tends to push people away when he is struggling with cyclical depression, a feeling that I can relate to as I can be guilty of doing the same thing.
Now, after I break down the fallacious arguments about his mom and parents disliking me he has asked me not to come as he does not process his emotions as logically when I am around and this has been true in the past with his previous gfs (I think he means that I am distracting). He also does not want the birthday gifts I got him. I am not sure about that and whether is ties into his feelings of self worth or lack there of.
I do not know what to do, I have presents for him, I have travel arrangements made with friends, I was supposed to meet and hang out with his sister who is eager to meet me. I do not know how to help him with his depression or with reassuring him about our relationship.
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21 Feb 2013, 12:10 am
