Having Different Passions

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We're just different, do you think having different passions can be a good thing or do you think it will ultimately be a hindrance to the relationship? Here's a chat log regarding our different passions and interests.

[Mod. edit: chat log removed, please post a summary next time]

No. Having different passions is normal.

Having similar values and core beliefs is more important. Passions less so. It won't cause a breakup unless it's very important to you that you drive your partner mad trying to get them interested in the same thing as you. It's healthier if you both respect your differences.

I second this. As long as you share some passions to bond over, having many other passions you don't see eye to eye on shouldn't be a problem. As much as I also would love a female version of myself, I recognize it isn't going to happen.

Yeah, this would be the beginning of me losing attraction to said girl. I aint got no money for Ikea. But like 99% of what I buy is used. I used to even do lots of dumpster diving. In this case, it depends on how important the activity is to you. For me this girl here could make my life a living hell as I hate spending money and buying new stuff.

I think where the rubber hits the road is how much her passions affect you and vice versa. I'd not buy Ikea crap, and if she wanted me to buy Ikea crap, that'd be an issue. If she was OK with me buying cool cheap antique furniture, then it's fine. She doesn't have to share my hobby, she just can't oppose it. So I'd say tolerance is the keyword here. As long as you can tolerate eachother's hobbies, then it's OK.

People are all different, and they have different priorities. End of story

Also, what happened to not being allowed to keep posting chat logs? Only been warned about it twice

In my experience, mates trend to have different passions. Hopefully at least some overlap. Also, it's good if each is tolerant of the other's passions as has been stated above.^

Anna is not setting foot in any charity shop which is probably OK, she sounds squeamish about it. Refusing to go into an antique shop due to lack of interest seems a bit inflexible to me.

One of the great joys in serious dating is experiencing one anther's areas of interest and sometimes in the process, developing a new interest due to this.

My former husband is a lifelong sailor. I love the water and love swimming. I was thrilled about the idea of sailing with him. But it turned out that sailing is not for me. I found out that I get seasick, get ear pain from the wind, am not strong enough to be reliable at many of the tasks.... After a handful of outings, I opted out. But I always respected his devotion to sailing as a worthy endeavor.

He had boats throughout our marriage and asked me to teach our girls to be confident swimmers so that he could take them sailing young. I was happy to do it. He taught them to sail and navigate. They both worked as sailing instructors summer-times through college. They are both avid sailors as adults (one of them nationally ranked).

I believe that through sailing my girls gained confidence, character and passion. (Not only through sailing; but it contributed mightily.) I love what sailing has been to our family even though I am loathe to set foot on a sailboat.

I am a gardener and did almost all the landscaping at our place when we were married. Long divorced, I was thrilled a decade ago, that he asked for my advise about his new home in FL which had some landscaping issues. I pointed him in the right direction as to educational resources. Now he has beautiful gardens; he's now a really good sub-tropical gardener.

Tolerance and support of the other's passions goes a long way.

PS; any writing skill I have is due to my former husband editing my writing when we were married; yeah, I let him tear my writing apart; he's a novelist.

+1

That was in reference to unaware women on dating websites, not relationship discussions.

That doesn't answer my question though, i'm wondering if having different passions is positive or negative but I think it can be positive if both people open theirs minds to the different passions and experiences.

Is this woman aware that you're posting this? If not Then its pretty much the same thing.

It depends on the people. I would find having someone exactly like me boring as hell. I'd rather friend them to hang out at those things and find someone interesting to date. But you like having a clone, so go for that. Simple

My boyfriend and I have different passions. He is passionate about electronics while I am passionate about completely different things. It all works out, though, because I break a lot of electronics, and he fixes them.

He doesn't really benefit from my interests. I think that he's okay with that.

Some different...for those "me" times, and some joint...for healthy discussions, a few beers and man chat