Should people lower their standards?

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If you feel they should in the dating scene why?

Nope, compromising on my standards has always lead to bad things.

Depends on if their standards exist only in terms of finding someone who matches them or are extreme or influenced by media. I know an ugly 27-year-old aspie male who is 5'6, skinny without an ounce of muscle mass, not to mention perverted, and says he only wants to date hot blonde women. Yeah....maybe not going to happen.

Lists are silly. Not being attracted to someone is not silly unless it's extreme (see above). Basically, if you're waiting because you want someone more like you, on looks and everything else, then I think it's perfectly great not to lower your standards. If you're a decent-looking aspie girl with a good job and a lot to offer, and you keep rejecting creeps twice your age, then I don't think you need to lower your standards. But then if you reject someone who perfectly matches you only because he is "a little socially awkward and introverted," then you might be stupid.

If you have lofty requirements that go way beyond a realistic assessment of yourself, you're pretty much stupid. Otherwise, no need to lower your standards.

There's nothing that irritates me more than some dumpy girl who goes wild over some high-status guy who clearly spends three times as much time taking care of his body as she does. Like my aspie male friend I mentioned above, this is not only pathetic, it's supremely irritating. I don't want to be around such people who are so self-unaware.

Define what a typical set of standards would be when it comes to dating.

I think it's better to raise one's own game: Get in better shape, physically and emotionally. Start to seek out new venues to meet people.

i think it's better to be a hermit in the woods and leave everybody else to their own devices.

I'm getting dangerously close to this.

I think that it's stupid to lower's one's standards of other people, but by the same token, if you have high standards of others, it's equally stupid to think that girls that meet one's high standards will want anything to do with you if your standards for yourself are low.

People rarely lower their standards, what most people do is they just learn what it is they really want.

Not everyone can be everything at once. The funny thing is we often say people have lowered their standards when they start going out with people we see as unattractive or under their league.

You see its not really them who make their standard but us or society thats making the standard for them. Now however, people who are genuinely unhappy in a relationship but continue to stay in it out of fear of being alone have lowered their own standards.

Yes, especially if you haven't been successful in getting any date for a long time or, in case of females, rejecting every single guy asking you out (because no one is meeting some crazy standard point).

Some standards I saw on this board are pretty stupid tbh.


If I have a standard of wanting only a model-looking girl while I am just an average guy then yea, persisting on this standard is delusional and plain stupid.

I know 3 real-life cases:

A christian girl literally said: "I will never date a non-christian"; she ended up dating later on with a Muslim guy.

A Muslim girl literally said: "I will never date someone who's not Muslim and Arab" - she ended up dating a Christian Armenian.

A guy friend literally said: "I don't like chubby girls at all" - he got married with a woman 2x his size.

Standards my ass lol.

I don't have "standards" per se, I just fall in love (read: obsess) over whomever seems good to fall in love (obsess) over.

Once I have feelings for someone, there is next to zero chance of anyone else getting in (unless I get hurt by aforementioned love interest or love interest doesn't love me bac). Unfortunately I have one friend who is going to find out the hard way if he doesn't stop trying to hit on me. He's a nice guy and I think he's a good friend, but he seems to have romantic ideas and I'm just not into him. I'm into someone else.

Hopefully he won't get snooty and like "Oh, she's only interested in him for *insert shallow reason here* and I really deserve her and he's such a jerk.".

But were they just reiterating what their society/culture had told them to want? Coming from a christian background myself I could easily see a person saying "I will never date a non-christian", but that not being what it is they really want in a parter.

so far my only standard is "don't be a dick" and "don't beat people up" (unless your life depends on it)

When it comes to "finding the perfect dream prince/princess", i think it should be less about lowering your standards and more about starting to live in reality with real people. ^^ There are thousend of really nice, lovely people you will miss, while searching for the fantasy prince/princess, while crying around why noone wants to waste his/her existing real life to become someones elses fantasy prince/princess. ^^

Seek what you offer and offer what you seek.

You don't have to lower your standards for other people, but you should raise standards for yourself.