SavageMessiah wrote:
Haven't been to WP in a while. Last update I was having off-and-on marital issues. Just thought I'd chime back in and say my marriage has failed.
My wife claims I "ran out of time" to attempt to fix things, even though we'd been through a slew of health and financial problems in the last few years and were finally moving towards a position where we could actually plan for a family and other long term things.
With me having a busy work schedule and kind of being a wallflower, my wife became restless and started going into the city at night more frequently. After time she made more and more friends, and eventually flat out left me for some guy 10 years older than her with two teenagers (who's still married himself). She left me stuck at our home with her dog for at least a month before she finally took him.
Well, basically, good riddance to bad rubbish. Get yourself a good lawyer and make sure she doesn't gold-dig you. What she's done is adultery; she has as far as I know no right to alimony or anything like that.
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So now we're left with an unsalvageable relationship now entering into a divorce, just months after we'd still been making long term plans together.
Either way, for the longest time, I didn't even realize it until I started giving family and coworkers details - but, apparently I'd been verbally and emotionally abused. Shocked to hear this, I started researching verbal abuse and discovered that many of her tactics were indeed such.
Sounds like a b***h with piss-poor coping skills. Not to say you're not at fault-- your condition means you are automatically at fault-- but she's not innocent, either.
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I don't understand why or how I deserve to be emotionally beat down because I don't have the ability to handle things the way others do. Whether or not we "don't put forth the effort" to keep a marriage together, why must there be verbal abuse, ultimatums, and badgering?? I've taken abuse and adversity as well as anyone that has ever lived. But this really needs to STOP.
Because there are more of them than there are of us. Whatever the real statistics are-- 1:110 or 1:88 or 1:53 or 1:33, we're outnumbered. "Normal" means "of or like the majority." "Autism" basically translates to "too much oneself." There are more of them, more people see it their way, they win and we lose. Like it or not, might makes right.
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Even after I left, I kept getting things like "His kids are more important than you." I eventually demanded she stop putting me down because we were already over and there was no longer a point to it. She claims to want to remain friendly but I don't imagine us talking more than a few times a year.
.... From loved one of 9 years to complete stranger in 3 months....
Once again I continue to sympathize with others that this kind of stuff has happened to, and I kinda knew things would end up this way.
You should PM me. I live near Beaver Falls. I'm not interested in dating, I'm married and I'll be faithful until he throws me out, but I am hunting friends. And I know a decent therapist in Wexford.
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"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
13 Mar 2013, 8:26 pm
