The Marriage/Long Term Relationship Question

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mrwhite23
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01 Apr 2013, 1:57 am

is it true that those with aspergers syndrome or some type of autism are fully capable of leading a somewhat normal life even having a long successful relationship with a partner even leading to marriage??
also whats it like being married to an aspie??
also what s better
aspie and aspie marriage
or
aspie and NT marriage???



cakey
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01 Apr 2013, 3:23 am

Yes, I think it's perfectly possible; why not? The only issue that people with AS face is social difficulty with communication and being able to fit in. It takes an understanding NT or AS person to accept flaws/ differences inorder to become happy with each other. I'm am In an AS-NT relationship. I simply had to understand the person inside and let goof some social expectations that most NT girls like me have. So, he can't readmy mind or he can't tell what I need without my direct word; that isn't such a big deal to me. As long as he loves me is all I care about. I think thereare a lot of understanding people left in this world.


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goldfish21
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01 Apr 2013, 3:26 am

mrwhite23 wrote:
is it true that those with aspergers syndrome or some type of autism are fully capable of leading a somewhat normal life even having a long successful relationship with a partner even leading to marriage??

also whats it like being married to an aspie??

also what s better
aspie and aspie marriage
or
aspie and NT marriage???


Yes, it's true.

Don't know, I'm not married. Ask my dad, he's put up with my mom for almost 40 years. :lol: It's not been easy w/ many ups and downs, but they're still together because he's a very patient person. Also, it's only very recently that any of us have discovered our AS - beginning with me, soooo I'm hoping that the rockiest parts of their relationship are behind them as my mother learns to cope better than she has at some points in recent memory.

Other AS marriages don't work out, including my brother's. They were together for nearly 20 years including dating, but have recently split due to their differences. That's life.

And the answer is.. it depends, on you, and the other person involved. There's no simple way to answer whether ASAS or ASNT marriages are better, as each marriage of any kind is going to be different from every other one. People are individuals, not merely the sum of their neurological labels, so you can't really get a straight answer to this question - especially not from me, because I'm gay. :lol: However, there may be statistics available somewhere that show that ASAS or ASNT relationships are more probable to be successful in the long term - but I'm not sure if they are, or which is more likely.

Myself, having a many AS brained people in my family & getting along best with my AS friends, I'd lean towards finding an AS partner in the future - but I am not necessarily going to make it a must. If I happen to meet the perfect mate and they're NT, so be it. I think that's a part of finding the perfect partner for yourself.. being open to whomever that person is vs. trying to narrow the field down so tightly with idealistic criteria that it becomes impossible to find anyone even remotely close to who you're looking for, meanwhile you may overlook an absolutely great person because you were too focused on the fact that they didn't meet ALL of the criteria on your wish list.


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MjrMajorMajor
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03 Apr 2013, 10:59 am

I've been married eight years, and we've been together for eleven so it does happen. As for comparisons, everybody's different on an individual level so your question can't really be answered that simply.



MsAngeeDepp
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03 Apr 2013, 3:10 pm

On how much hes willing to look at being an Aspie..A marriage/long term relationship will only work when they realize that they have to work within the uniqueness God gave them..

Having a total communication break down with my Aspie..He knows hes one but he wants to leave it at that. I find my self frustrated that I cant find means of communication that he'll understand because he doesnt understand his qualities and refuses to look at what works for him because he looks at himself as broken for having it.

I got him to open up once..He told me " I have been holding on to this for months and Im going to say this because it bugs me." I ahve when we make appointments and we end up missing them because you dont want to go. I feel very importantly that one needs to honor their commitment."

I like WHOA? Why did you wait so long to tell me this? Then I assured him that what upset him was perfectly acceptable and that I will do my best to make sure I don't do it again.

I mean its stuff like that, getting a better understand how our beloveds mind works



superboyian
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03 Apr 2013, 6:10 pm

mrwhite23 wrote:
is it true that those with aspergers syndrome or some type of autism are fully capable of leading a somewhat normal life even having a long successful relationship with a partner even leading to marriage??
also whats it like being married to an aspie??
also what s better
aspie and aspie marriage
or
aspie and NT marriage???


Yes

I'm in a long term relationship and as far as I know, I've been real happy.


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