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I can't seem to have a legitimate relationship.

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cbex57
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29 Mar 2013, 2:46 pm

So I've been trying to find a girlfriend for a while and It's been hard to find an actual lasting relationship. What seems to happen is I'll meet a girl that I like and either she won't be interested in me or we'll end up having a one night stand, and never really talking to each other again. I mean I guess that's most men dream but I really like to have a girlfriend for more then just sex, someone that I like to spend time with and who has similar interests has me. I'm just pretty bad at actually talking to girls. It sucks :?



Last edited by cbex57 on 29 Mar 2013, 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tyri0n
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29 Mar 2013, 3:13 pm

cbex57 wrote:
So I've been trying to find a girlfriend for a while and It's been hard to find an actual lasting relationship. What seems to happen is I'll meet a girl that I like and either she won't be interested in me or we'll end up having a one night stand, and never really talking to each other again. I mean I guess that's most mens dream but I really like to have a girlfriend for more then just sex, someone that I like to spend time with and who has similar interests has me. I'm just pretty bad at actually talking to girls. It sucks :?


I here ya bro. I have found that *full* NT's just don't work.

Not sure I'm stuck on aspies either, but find someone who is non-typical in some way (ADHD, bipolar, aspie, NLD, just plain weird background, something different), or it's not going to work. The worst are girls who just expect you to be like every other guy (most women, unfortunately).

Even the NT's on this site who have had successful relationships with aspies, like cakey, are special in some way.



cbex57
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29 Mar 2013, 3:24 pm

Nah man, I'm fine if the person I like's not AS, that dosen't really have any major significance to our relationship. what I really want is someone who enjoys the same thing's I do like music, art, video games and stuff I'm into. I usually end up getting friend zoned by the awesome girls like that. I'd much rather date a chick that's into stuff I'm into, rather than some really attractive girl that I have nothing in common with.



Tyri0n
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29 Mar 2013, 3:31 pm

cbex57 wrote:
Nah man, I'm fine if the person I like's not AS, that dosen't really have any major significance to our relationship. what I really want is someone who enjoys the same thing's I do like music, art, video games and stuff I'm into. I usually end up getting friend zoned by the awesome girls like that. I'd much rather date a chick that's into stuff I'm into, rather than some really attractive girl that I have nothing in common with.


Well, you can get laid but can't develop a real relationship that lasts. I have the same problem. But in my case, I've realized it's because I am too accepting of the idea of dating NT's. I need to more aggressively seek out women who are like me in some way. This does not necessarily mean aspie girls since they can be boring and conventional too.

It sounds like you have already moved to this second step but are still coming up short.



cbex57
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29 Mar 2013, 3:43 pm

Yeah, I think the problem is the girls I actually like I get really nervous around and end up having more friendly discussions about thing's where interested in. It's much easier for me to flirt with the less brainy women, but I can't stand being in actual relationship with them. But for dating another Aspie, I'm open to the Idea it's just that I haven't met all that many other Aspies I've generally gotten along with well. I went to a high school with a program for kids with Austic Spectrum diseases and I found many of my other classmates, with the excpetion of a few, slightly irritating although very friendly.



arnoldmcguire335
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20 Apr 2013, 9:33 pm

[quote="cbex57"]So I've been trying to find a girlfriend for a while and It's been hard to find an actual lasting relationship. What seems to happen is I'll meet a girl that I like and either she won't be interested in me or we'll end up having a one night stand, and never really talking to each other again. I mean I guess that's most men dream but I really like to have a girlfriend for more then just sex, someone that I like to spend time with and who has similar interests has me. I'm just pretty bad at actually talking to girls. It sucks :?[/quote]
I agree with you. I also have the difficulty, but more in "the place I live in doesn't do anything good for I might as well live in the City" kind.
To be honest, I even feel guilty when I see my Church friends have Girlfriends, while I'm stuck in the loner phase.