Age differences.

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Alright so, basically this seems to be something I'm coming to realize now that I've started a new OKCupid Profile and trying to get back out in the world after my recent loss.

I've basically come to realize that I have virtually nothing in common with women my own age.. Women who are in their late 20's or early 30's seem to want a guy who is "established" and "stable".. they dress differently and while we might share some interests.. they seem to talk overwhelmingly about work and how being employed and having already finished school are mandatory... they tend to have their ages set for 28-35 range.. I certainly have nothing against this age group and would actually prefer it, I just don't meet most of their criteria as to whats "Acceptable".

Meanwhile the ones I seem to have the most in common with.. in the 20-24 year range.. who are less judgmental about things like me being in college or not having a job and who have similar interests and concerns as I do.. have their ages set at like 19-26... so I feel like if I message them, even if we have high 90% match & Friendship percentages i'm going to come across as being creepy because I'm 'Too Old".. even though if they met me in person they likely would never guess how much older than them I am.

I'm chronologically 28, but maturity wise and looks wise I'm much closer to my early 20's than I am to my late 20's. On somethings I run as much as 10 years behind the curve in hitting certain benchmarks.. this doesn't really cause me too many problems in person apart from the fact that EVERY guy regardless of their ages seems to be going after this same demographic group.. so theres LOADS of competition. and in my experience this demographic tends to eschew committed relationships in preference for short term flings and "Hooking up"... which is just not something I'm interested in.. I'm also fairly disconnected from a lot of stuff they are into.. like twitter and reddit and tumbler and smart phones and stuff.. I just don't understand any of it.. but this is just as much a shared trait with the older cohort as well.

Honestly I'd rather be with some one closer to my own age.. 26-30 simply because it would give us more cultural benchmarks in common.. and would mean she was more likely to actually want to be in a stable, committed relationship...

I know exactly what you are talking about. I'm 57 years old and I don't relate to people in my own age group very well at all. Generally speaking, I relate to people from about 19 to 27 best. My sort of autism makes me very right side dominant. So, I've kept the young adult sort of perspective and learning ability, while most of my peers have become disinterested and stale. The good news is, I look way younger than I am and since health and aging are heavily affected by mental attitude, I'm in great shape. Regretfully, there is a downside. When you get into my age group and you relate well to younger women, that is seen as something very wrong and you are generally branded a "creeper." There are a few women in my age group who are what I would call "well preserved." But, not many. If you are like me, you will probably spend your life psychologically and intellectually as a young adult. That is very common to high functioning autistics. When I was 50, I worked in a college town and dated several women were in their mid-20s. That was really fun and for them it was very interesting to go out with a guy they could relate to who had a career and was successful. But, those relationships didn't last. So, I don't have a solution for you, but I can offer the perspective of my life experience.

So be open to meeting/dating some of them and find out what happens.

You might meet someone younger that you really click with that also clicks with you.

Or you might meet someone your own age this works out with.

It seems that about 26 is the age at your upper end of the younger people you spoke of, and the lower end of those in your peer group.. so, why not try to find someone around 26 with mutual interests in what you're looking to get out of dating one another? It's a starting point, at least.

You won't really know if it'll work out with any of them as individuals or members of certain age groups/cultures until you try several times over and find out how it goes.

As for trends, whether fashion or technology or whatever.. either learn some of those things (when in Rome..) OR find someone that doesn't care for them or simply accepts that there are others out there that don't care for them and know nothing about them and don't care to.

I'm not the biggest geek in the world, but I use the internet and my phone frequently.. meanwhile one of my closest friends doesn't own a cell phone and couldn't possibly care less about spending non-necessary time on the internet and goes through periods where he won't reply to any emails for weeks at a time. That hasn't really affected us being good friends at all, so I wouldn't count things like technological trend knowledge necessarily counting for very much in terms of a friendship/relationship.. if it did, I doubt it would be that strong of a relationship or friendship to begin with. Minor details you're making a mountain out of a molehill of.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I'd message them anyway. It's not like you're in your late 30's or older and gave complete disregard to their age preference. The age difference between 24 and 28 is rather minor and you might make a good impression. I wouldn't discuss age in your opener or to begin with. If they get funny with you about it they are obviously slightly less mature than you are ("OMGz a year iz uh liek 366 dayzzz!! !! yur 1000+ dayz olduh dan meeee!!") and I doubt they would suit you in the long run.

Criteria people set for dating can be a little extreme at times so don't feel bad or "unworthy" of messaging someone if you don't tick all the boxes. Plenty of people would be happy with just some or all the boxes ticked but being the Internet and all everyone likes to indulge, dream and try their luck the profile criteria usually describes their perfect mate, and let's be honest nobody's perfect.

I have somewhat the opposite problem. I'm 22 and I feel like I have much better luck/can relate better with women who are late 20s or early 30s. I feel I can talk to them fairly normally (even if they're single and hot) whereas girls my own age I feel like I'm talking to space aliens.

I'm the opposite, I actually seem to connect with women who are older than me. More like the 27-32 range. Most younger women seem to still be in the mind set of wanting to have fun partying and finding themselves while I feel like I've been past that stage for years. Actually I was never in that stage to begin with. While I have a few things going against me regarding older women such as not having a career yet, still finishing school, and still living at home, I feel that intellectually, I would connect on a much better level with a woman who is actually all grown up and is a real adult. It would be rare to get that from a 20 year old.

Dont you guys want to find love instead of an age appropriate girl/woman?

Personally, i don't care if i meet someone who is 18 or 50. I've met 40 a year old woman who were like 15 and a 21 year old who were like 35, age does not mean maturity or compatibility. As long as she is beautiful to get the machinery going and with a sufficient IQ that does make me want to run away from her screaming...