Friendly banter vs. flirting

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Friendly banter vs. flirting?

Yesterday something was said to me by a cute blond girl. It was then I realized I have absolutely no clue how to tell the difference between the two. In the moment I dismissed it as just being friendly because I currently have a crush on someone else and now if I'm wrong its a good thing.

And by now your probably wondering what was said, but first let me set the scene. It was yesterday when I was at fencing practice, we had a few too many people so while others were fencing and judging a match two people were sitting on the side waiting, at this moment, me and her. There was a row of chairs to sit in and she sat near me (one empty chair between us) and said "it must be slippery to fence in vans". That conversation lasted about 30 seconds before one of us had to go up and fence. Once again, I dismissed this as just being a friendly person but it got me thinking. What does flirting look like or sound like? I can't think of a single time in my life where it was clear (to me) someone was flirting with me, there have been times where I realized hours, days, or even weeks later but never in the moment.

Anyway I've said enough but simply how do you tell the difference between someone who is just a being friendly and someone who is flirting?

I think it's a little like Texas Hold'em poker. It's not (usually) a single bet at flop. It's more a pattern of betting, pre-flop, flop, turn, river, that kind of thing.

So, I guess just assume it's friendly, casual conversation and respond in turn, until it become increasingly obvious it's flirting.

*all this said, the comment "must be slippery to fence in vans" does sound like (playful?) sexual innuenda. Or . . . vans might refer to a type of tennis shoes.

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With the other girl you gave a crush on, maybe lightly initiate conversation with her? And on a second or third occasion, if it feels right, ask her out?

A lot of it is probably in those troublesome nonverbal signals. Flirting brings to mind coy looks, physical proximity, and too much giggling. Those are probably the overly obvious examples that I actually notice though. I would consider a casual back and forth friendly, unless there's an additional element to declare it otherwise.