10 Apr 2013, 11:23 pm
The people around me have been asking me for years to find someone to date. My mom has been nagging me to find someone to settled down and have kids with since I was 14; lately my grandma and even some of my friends have been trying to set me up with these random people! 
Note: People around here usually marry or have kids young, like 16-18 (on the rare occasion even as young as 13), and if you're past 21 and still single you are considered to be something of an old maid.
The last few times people set me up didn't go well. I always try to be myself and upfront with people, but it intimidates some guys. My close relatives even told me that I should try to be more girly, shy, and less picky about who I go out with.
I'm not saying I don't want to date anyone, I just don't want to be pressured to by the people around me, or nagged to try to act like someone else. 
How do I get it across to them to back off? Hopefully without offending them too much. 
11 Apr 2013, 3:34 am
11 Apr 2013, 3:49 am
Something that has worked well for me personally is something to the effect of "My identity and self worth are not so empty as to require a partner in order to be fulfilled. That does not mean I am entirely against romantic entanglements however. If and when it does happen, it will be on my terms because I want it, not because of the pressures of other people. Please respect that." I find this usually satisfies most people.
On a less serious note, you could just tell people that you're gay. That usually shuts people up pretty quick. 
11 Apr 2013, 5:20 am
On a less serious note, you could just tell people that you're gay. That usually shuts people up pretty quick.
No, lying about being gay wouldn't work; in fact it could get me disowned or worse
(my family is christian and so am I).
But I do like what you said in the beginning
. I think it'll work if I use simpler words when I say it to them. Thanks
Oh, and in response to mfs1013's post lets just say the old south and leave it at that.
11 Apr 2013, 6:10 am
Chibi, what I would do, is try to think of your best friend that is a guy who is single and ask him out. Tell him what's going on. If there isn't a guy like that, tell your parents if they know any guys with the same interests as you while they are arranging things for you. Whether you are in the Southern United States or as far south as Brazil, almost all of the time people want you to be happy, and I am sure your parents also want the best. Think of how cool it would be to find that guy when you are that young! And also, try to give them a chance, I know if I don't give the women I date a chance, I might actually offend them. Best of luck! 
11 Apr 2013, 7:31 am
On a less serious note, you could just tell people that you're gay. That usually shuts people up pretty quick.
No, lying about being gay wouldn't work; in fact it could get me disowned or worse
(my family is christian and so am I). But I do like what you said in the beginning
. I think it'll work if I use simpler words when I say it to them. Thanks Oh, and in response to mfs1013's post lets just say the old south and leave it at that.
The old south huh? Yeah, I can see why simpler words might be necessary. Not to be too critical, but intellectualism isn't exactly prized down in those parts. Y'all do have some great food though!
11 Apr 2013, 9:18 am
11 Apr 2013, 10:22 am
11 Apr 2013, 11:23 am
If you like fried food. The South is the epicenter of our obesity epidemic.
It's not the food,the obesity is caused by air conditioning.
You try ripping and tearing around outside when it's 110 and humid.
Anybody sensible is inside enjoying sweet tea,fried chicken and cream pies.
if you must be out in the heat,you have to be fortified with coolers of fermented beverages to maintain your strength.
Before AC it was too hot to eat,you just laid around hassling like dogs,fanning yourself.
AC sort of was the downfall of Southern Blues,novels and allowed new people to move here.
An we gots pleny 'lectuals down herebouts Troy_Guther
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
11 Apr 2013, 3:01 pm
Move to a big city with expensive real estate that has changed the social norms to people not marrying until they're financially established in their 30's and you'll have your entire lifetime to live over again w/o people wondering why you're not looking to get married yet. 
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.11 Apr 2013, 3:07 pm
Or, just go ahead and get yourself hitched.
11 Apr 2013, 5:04 pm
11 Apr 2013, 5:34 pm
11 Apr 2013, 5:53 pm
11 Apr 2013, 5:56 pm
Note: People around here usually marry or have kids young, like 16-18 (on the rare occasion even as young as 13), and if you're past 21 and still single you are considered to be something of an old maid.
The last few times people set me up didn't go well. I always try to be myself and upfront with people, but it intimidates some guys. My close relatives even told me that I should try to be more girly, shy, and less picky about who I go out with.
I'm not saying I don't want to date anyone, I just don't want to be pressured to by the people around me, or nagged to try to act like someone else.
How do I get it across to them to back off? Hopefully without offending them too much.
well, that sucks for you. No one ever ask if I ever will get married, so Im lucky there.
13 Apr 2013, 5:39 pm
I wish I could disagree with you, but I can't. Around here being smart isn't usually a good thing (I've been made fun of quite a bit because I liked to learn more than I liked to socialize). I have to keep things simple when speaking to people, and talk really slow; most people here have that thick southern accent, and I (as my relative put it) "talk like a yankee". That in itself causes a lot of communication problems. BTW you're right about the food, it is good.
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