Ways to figure out if a woman is single?
Hello people,
I'm having always trouble with finding out in time if a woman I'm interested in is single or not.
Very fast about me:
- Had 2 relationships before
- Can flirt, ok at romance, but like most of you not very social
- Get few opportunities to meet woman, but they do exist and I 'do my best' when they do happen.
Somehow it has very often happened to me I put energy in pursuing a girl that turned out to be in a relationship. I often find out too late, when I'm almost at the point of asking her out. Strange thing is that girls also let this happen, up to exchanging numbers & evening coming to their house, and then on the doorstep it's like "ow and my boyfriend asked if you also liked...". Maybe it's me, maybe I'm the kind and slightly interesting guy that woman in a relationship like to have fun with for a few days, but it's annoying. Of course many girls bring also bring it up straight away.
I have the ability/guts to 'take it to the next step' and risk rejection; but I often don't dare to bc I can't figure out if woman are single.
Facebook often doesn't help as girls over here never fill in their relationship status; and If I'd ask too directly I'd 'show my cards' to early. If I wait too long it can get akward later on.
Any tips?
Ow & for the record: I'm a very loyal guy and respect other peoples relationships, I always back off when I find out even if they are flirty.
ask her
if you dont have the guts for it:
do it like women do:
they tell you something like: "Your girlfriend sure likes your hair!"
and then they know from your reaction if you are gay, have a girlfriend or single.
DO NOT back of when they are flirty.
Be bold, and when you need to, fake it. it doesnt have to be real.
Say something like: "are you single? I dont wanna waste my time."
if she IS single, and she LIKES you, then it will go further from there on.
If she isnt single or doesnt like you, she will be creeped out, no harm done. it will not creep out other females, as long you play it cool and casual and smooth and as if you wouldnt care.
No one likes tame men, so don't feel obliged to be one.
but be a gentleman! holding doors open and stuff is cute.
get a leather jacket and a cool haircut or something to boost your confidence. it will help.
if you dont have the guts for it:
do it like women do:
they tell you something like: "Your girlfriend sure likes your hair!"
and then they know from your reaction if you are gay, have a girlfriend or single.
DO NOT back of when they are flirty.
Be bold, and when you need to, fake it. it doesnt have to be real.
Say something like: "are you single? I dont wanna waste my time."
if she IS single, and she LIKES you, then it will go further from there on.
If she isnt single or doesnt like you, she will be creeped out, no harm done. it will not creep out other females, as long you play it cool and casual and smooth and as if you wouldnt care.
No one likes tame men, so don't feel obliged to be one.
but be a gentleman! holding doors open and stuff is cute.
get a leather jacket and a cool haircut or something to boost your confidence. it will help.
Honestly even NT guys try to think I am single as well and try to approach me and I try to avoid eye contact to show I'm not interested. They typically get the message and move on. BUT I think the only way to know is to ask...but directly asking is strange too, so I agree with this poster who said do how the women do it. Say things like, "I bet your killer smile/grades/eyes make your BF got nuts!" in a friendly manner and with a smile along with it. They will usually nod if they have a BF or tell you that they are single.
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Neurotypical. I'm very friendly; feel free to message me.
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I would also like to repost another clever way to ask is to say "Oh, that's a nice sweater/watch/necklace, did your BF get it?", but do it in conversation, not just randomnly. In addition of course check for a ring on the finger or a ring on a necklace which usually means she has a BF. All this or just asking her.
_________________
Neurotypical. I'm very friendly; feel free to message me.

You could say, "if you didnt already have a boyfriend, I would ask you out".
That way, you are not directly asking them out but you are telling them you are interested,
if they are interested back and are single they will say, "oh but I havnt got a boyfriend", that would mean they want you to ask them out.
Never works for me as in this country since 1973 I never met a girl I liked that didnt already have a boyfriend.
I'm having always trouble with finding out in time if a woman I'm interested in is single or not.
Very fast about me:
- Had 2 relationships before
- Can flirt, ok at romance, but like most of you not very social
- Get few opportunities to meet woman, but they do exist and I 'do my best' when they do happen.
Somehow it has very often happened to me I put energy in pursuing a girl that turned out to be in a relationship. I often find out too late, when I'm almost at the point of asking her out. Strange thing is that girls also let this happen, up to exchanging numbers & evening coming to their house, and then on the doorstep it's like "ow and my boyfriend asked if you also liked...". Maybe it's me, maybe I'm the kind and slightly interesting guy that woman in a relationship like to have fun with for a few days, but it's annoying. Of course many girls bring also bring it up straight away.
I have the ability/guts to 'take it to the next step' and risk rejection; but I often don't dare to bc I can't figure out if woman are single.
Facebook often doesn't help as girls over here never fill in their relationship status; and If I'd ask too directly I'd 'show my cards' to early. If I wait too long it can get akward later on.
Any tips?
Ow & for the record: I'm a very loyal guy and respect other peoples relationships, I always back off when I find out even if they are flirty.
Oh this is EASY!!
Ask me a tough one!
If she looks at you like you're a real person, esp. in the eye. Then she's not happy with her current relationship situation.
Meaning she's available. Even if she kisses the man she's with, while you're watching!
If a woman looks at you (no hate) simply like you're a piece of furniture that she wants to avoid banging her shins on,
or like you're a post box or light pole she doesn't want to crash her car into, then she's happy in her relationship.
Straight, Gay, or Freedom but has a great pet! And nobody has a chance. (try not to take it personally)
(BTW, Women are almost never "single", they'll usually claim they're not single; being wanted=being valuable & hopefully to you)
(they don't realize what men truly think about that)
Disclaimer: If you're her customer (she's a cashier or a waitress) she is paid to pretend you're a real person, so you're on your own on that one.
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DialAForAwesome
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Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,189
Location: That place with the thing
I do that too, 1000Knives.
Mainly because if I ask if they have a b/f or husband in even a subtle manner, I just get treated like a creep. So after that I just started assuming all of them are taken. It's actually about 97% true in my case.
_________________
I don't trust anyone because I'm cynical.
I'm cynical because I don't trust anyone.
Oh this is EASY!!
Ask me a tough one!
If she looks at you like you're a real person, esp. in the eye. Then she's not happy with her current relationship situation.
Meaning she's available. Even if she kisses the man she's with, while you're watching!
If a woman looks at you (no hate) simply like you're a piece of furniture that she wants to avoid banging her shins on,
or like you're a post box or light pole she doesn't want to crash her car into, then she's happy in her relationship.
Straight, Gay, or Freedom but has a great pet! And nobody has a chance. (try not to take it personally)
(BTW, Women are almost never "single", they'll usually claim they're not single; being wanted=being valuable & hopefully to you)
(they don't realize what men truly think about that)
Disclaimer: If you're her customer (she's a cashier or a waitress) she is paid to pretend you're a real person, so you're on your own on that one.
Hmmm 'if she looks at me like a real person' ... I don't think I'll get far with this advise.
I'm not asking when a woman notices/likes me, but how to (especially when I can't ask it in person) figure out fast if they are in a relationship.
After giving it some thought my best semi-direct line would be to ask her is she shares her place with somebody, after asking in what part of the city she lives. It's not 100% guaranteed I figure out what I need to know + Some scared girls might find it creepy, but people ask me this often.
If not I could ask 'and do you have a boyfriend' , after I or somebody else brings up their ex or smt. Anything related to partners can be combo'd into 'what does your...' think about this. But... you need to be deep in conversation for this.
The Current case is a hard one, she's a far colleague of mine, doesn't work in the same city but in the same group; I only see her once a season. Last time we almost went for a drink after the meeting but then her boss tapped her shoulder & was like "we have to go". So I don't want to wait till fall for another chance. She's very friendly, actually a bit too friendly (as in friendly by default and thus not significant) and interested/gets along. So in order to...well meet up, I'd have to ask her online, which in itself is not a problem, but I need to somehow figure out if she has a boyfriend. She didn't give any sign of it, but she's just so likeable I find it hard to imagine her single. But how the hell I ask this via mail... I'd have to get her on facebook... but that's already a step too far maybe... hmmm.
Tyri0n
Veteran
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