aspie men miss signs of interest

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I am surpise, this has never been said before. But don't alot of autism men miss signs of interest.
when i read threw ''love shyness'' stuff, and similiar stuff, one thing it says is
''many love shy men don't pick up cues that a woman is interest in them''

looking back now, when I was in school, had girls flirting with me, and talking to me,
but I never pick it up, that they were interesting in me.

and not too long ago, I've talk to women, that possible might have like me,
but I didn't notice.

so, that another thing us ''dating challenge'' men face, we have a very hard time
picking up cues of interest.

I know. I have a good memory and I distinctly remember weird encounters with women. I now know that it may have been related to flirting. What ever flirting means. Still do not know the definition.

Well just recently I misinterpreted signs of platonic interest as a shy romantic interest

It did not end well.

Yeah, this applies to me. I remember one time a girl tried talking to me, and I didn't know she was trying to hit on me until she wrote down her phone number. I was just like "why is this girl talking to me for, why is she interested in me?"

I was under the impression that it was pretty well-known that aspies often don't notice when people are interested in them.

But it's certainly true for me, anyway... I've dated a few people including a few long-term relationships, but in each case the other person initiated it and was very direct... they didn't rely on hints or subtlety and didn't wait for me to make a move, so it was hard to miss (although even then I often wasn't sure). If a woman doesn't initiate something, in a very direct and obvious way, I don't usually know she's interested... at most I might wonder whether she's interested or not.

I most certainly agree with you on this one.

I actual had a couple girl give me their phone number but I never called.
I use to have couple girls follow me around and always talk to me.
One girl would always randomly hug me. my gosh, thinking back now.
I could have gotten a date with some of these girls.

I just never gotten that ''dating rule book'' that every nt men gets.

I've had female hairdressers fawn over my hair and eyes before, kinda miss them playing with their hands through my hair.

I’ve never noticed such signs, but I’m pretty sure it’s because there have never been any in the first place

Pretty sure it's been said before.

I'm positive it's been said before

Yeah it's been said before, but it's true.
Some of us miss the signs. In the past, I certainly did.

Old news Bill. I can think of about 5 times in the past month or so this has probably happened to me, and I realized it a couple hours later.

It's been screamed from mountains and put on billboards (not literally)

This was a big issue for me for a very long time. Still is I guess but, being in a long term committed relationship, it doesn't really matter any more. But before; I can't even count the number of opportunities I missed.

And I'm not talking about about subtle, easily misread, signs. I'm talking about huge goddamn flashing neon signs that a regular guy would be able to see from miles away.

Girl invited me to the movies, rested her head on my shoulder, then in my lap, for the whole movie. Didn't figure out she liked me until her friend told me she was mad at me for ignoring her.

Girl I shared mutual friends with would invite me to hang out, just the two of us, just about every time I'd see her. I thought she was just being nice, but that she didn't really want to, so I'd turn her down or make noncommittal noises at her suggestions. Didn't realize she was into me until years later when one of the mutual friends was talking about how embarrassing it was to watch her throw herself at me when I was clearly not interested. Sadly, the friend was mistaken; I'd have been very interested if I'd realized her actual intentions.

You'd think a coworker asking for a ride home (and hanging out for an hour after her shift ended to get said ride) when she lives across the street, when you can literally see her house from the parking lot, would be a pretty clear sign. Not clear enough for me, apparently.

You'd think, if that wasn't enough, her talking about how sexually frustrated she is with her boyfriend out of town would make it even clearer. Nope, still couldn't penetrate my wall of cluelessness.

Only figured it out a couple days later. Biggest facepalm of my life.

Luckily, the boyfriend was still out of town.

It'd be nice if people could just say "hey, I like you, wanna come over and make some sex on top of me?"

I know there's a fair number of NT women who come in here asking for advice about aspie guys. If any of them are reading this, when we say you need to be very direct we effin' mean it.

Last edited by mds_02 on 28 Apr 2013, 5:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'll say. I'll warn people that they need to be totally direct and they still play all the subtle crap - and worse, people never believe my warnings. Ever. Really f*cking annoying is what it is.
Most of the time I don't realise until they kiss me. And let's be honest, most women are not going to be forward enough to kiss a guy first - so that flashing neon sign is a bit of a moot point.

Had someone walk away 2 times the other night (well, pretended to, in order to get the point across) - simply because my whole "no expectations, assumptions or judgements" thing because I was only enjoying the moment, came across as "I am not interested in seeing you again" - even though it was never intended that way. Probably something the men here have issues with too - if you're too relaxed about it, they're going to take it as a sign of no interest.